Hello Filipina Nurses. I am looking for some help here, I met a girl in Hong Kong who I intend helping by sponsoring her through nurse training in Cagayan de Oro. She is from a poor family so needs my help.
Can you tell me please how much she would need monthly for living expenses if she is away from her family who are not in Cagayan. What are the tuition fees at Xavier college?
What qualification will she need to work abroad?
I have asked her but of course would like to know from those of you who have gone through the same thing.
Ronald Reagan had a pretty good philosophy of "TRUST, but VERIFY"...
My suggestion to you is to email the Dean of the College of Nursing (Dr. Ramona Heidi Palad) immediately to verify her status as a student and her current standing academically. In addition, express your concerns to Dr Palad about making sure the tuition is applied properly and if there is a mechanism by which you could give a monthly living allowance through the school, for her to draw a weekly amount deemed appropriate for rent, food and transportation. Dr. Palad may suggest a trust account at the schools bank whereby you can directly deposit her funds and disburse only upon verification of enrollment and number of units to be paid for each semester. Her email is:
Do not send the student large amounts of money thinking it will all be budgeted properly. Relatives can be notorious scammers, I'm hoping your lady is not one herself. I would try to set up some mechanism where a responsible school Faculty head (the Dean, Registrar, Student Services Dean etc...) can "dole out" only the required amount each week to meet her needs....NOT HER FAMILY!!
Set strict guidelines on the disbursement and work with the college directly on this matter. I'm sure you will be greatly enlightened after corresponding with the college directly. Let us know how it goes!!
This is the best post I have ever read so far!!! Its because I can relate to the situation. Now here's what I think, but first I want to explain why I can relate.
You see, I'm also a product of sponsorship from our alumnus. I haven't met him yet because I had a meeting with my groupmates when he arrived and the staff can't find me. But he left me his email add and rest is history. He sponsored me for 1 semester and that caused him around 47,000 for my tuition. I didn't ask for more because what his giving is way too much! My allowance, books, etc, my family provide it for me. And since there had a problem with the american economy, he asked if I can look for another sponsor. That was 2 years ago. But until now, my father and I email him and tell him news about our current situation. Im currently working in an infectious unit in Makati. That 1 semester meant alot to us!
Here's my suggestion. Hoss is right, verify it! And even if you sponsor her to everything, I guess 20,000 a month is way tooooooo much! If you live here in Manila, you can only spend 5-6 thousand for the rent if your alone, but if your with other housemate, it may be just 2-3 thousand. I have lots of classmates who share house with other classmate. I also have a friend who pays P5000 inclusive of house, maid, electricity and water. There are 4 of them. They live in a big apartment in Makati. Now for the food, let's say around P200/ day (but that is also tooo much!) 200 x 31 = 6200. Books for the whole semester, let's say P4000 for 1 MS book and 1 OB/pedia book. Ok let's exagg it a little, let's say 10,000 for all the books the whole sem. So if you giver her P21,200 for the first month of the semester, you will only give her around P11,200 the succeding month. That is just for Manila setting. Since it's a province, I wounld think that my computation should be lessen. As I've seen, these computation are exaggerating for estimation sake.
If I were you, I wont send the tuition fee directly to her pockets. You can send monthly allowance directly to her, but not her tution fee. That is alot of money! You can do networking with the admin and tell them if its ok if you can just send the tution fee thru their account. That was what my sponsor did which is convenient on his part.
If I were her, I would really be pleased with what your doing and wont depend on your money for all my expenses! SHe should learn how to budget everything. I understand that Filipino family help each other, but you should explain to her that what your doing is for her and that the fruit of it is for her family. DOnt let yourself abuse by her or being taken for granted. And keep tract of her grades. If she send you the copy of her grades, try to verify it out with the school. You should also give her a quota that you will stop sponsoring her if she fails 2x. Come on! There are deserving students out there who are looking for sponsors and were not lucky enough. DESERVING STUDENT who will one day change other peoples lives! This is straight from the mouth of someone who was helped by a sponsor!
Please, be strict to her. From what I've read, what she's doing is very abusive! Helping her mother is really pleasing... BUt are you sure her mother got ill? Were you able to verify it? Come on! If you continue to be kind and give her everything she needs/WANTS, time will come that you will realize she's a different person. She should also be sensitive enough that your also working for the money your giving her. Dont let yourself be taken for granted! If you know someone in Cagayan, make that person a spy to what she's doing. You deserve to know what's really going on.
One day I will also sponsor students to take back what my sponsor did for me. And I am proud to tell the whole world who he is! His name is Mr. Romeo Flores. One of the kindest people I know.
Thanks guys for all your comments. She is in fact at the Liceo Cagayan de Oro, started as second year there as she had credits from previous college. I believe that 2008 she could graduate as a Care Giver, but she would like to carry on for nursing proper. Do you have any suggestions as to who I can get confirmation from at the Liceo, will they give me what are obviously confidential details as to how well she is doing? I have trusted her up to now and not asked for verification of anything. I guess I'm sounding like a mug now!
From the figures you give it seems like I may have been giving her way too much. She is living in the dorm which she says is 3400P a month plus laundry and ironing charges as they are not allowed to do their own in the dorm. She always seems to need another book or other and even tried to persuade me to buy a laptop and new cellphone for her. I won't tell you how much it has all cost so far as I think you would be shocked.
For background she is 22yrs old and I am a much older European. Call me a sugar daddy if you like but I have genuinely been trying to make a difference to someone less fortunate than myself. I can't say too much or she would be identifiable. I met her in Hong Kong where she had come looking for work but without the proper visa, needless to say this is a big scam which preys on young Filipinas and is another story in itself.
As I'm not Filipino I don't understand the strong family ties you have but if she gives anymore away to her family then I'm just going to have to cut and run and feel that I haven't really achieved anything.
I understand her when she says how difficult it is to see her nieces and nephews without enough food to eat or shoes to wear when she herself is now well fed and clothed. I just can't make her understand that I can only support her studies and that's it.
You really seem so good but i think 20,000 is way way too much. When I graduated, my daily allowance was only 150 Php. I'm from Bacolod City, a small city like Cagayan de Oro so I think the cost of living would be quite alike. Food in cities like ours usually comes cheap. An average viand would cost me 30 Php + Rice which would cost 5-10Php + 10 Php soft drinks or a 15 Php iced tea. So an average lunch would cost me around 40-60 Php only. The same is true with dinner and breakfast. As I was living with my parents, it didn't cost me breakfast and dinner, only lunch and some snacks. If you can find an accommodation which is close to her school, that would save you her transportation expenses. There are dormitories and boarding houses that I'm sure are quite available even if she has to share rooms with other people, which I think is not too bad if she says she comes from a poor family. I have friends who are not really poor but doesn't mind sharing rooms with other people because as everyone knows, nursing is really an expensive course even here so one must make the most to cut expenses. Dormitories with free board and lodging would usually cost 5,000 Php and that would already include 2 meals a day. I have friends who rent a house for 8,000 - 10,000 Php per month. There would be around 5-6 of them toshare the house so it would be equally divided to them around 1,600-2000 Php. I've been to there rented apartment and I can say that it's really a nice place, a two-storey house with 2 separate bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It already has a kitchen and a laundry area.
As for the other expenses like the uniforms, well, you only have to buy uniforms at the start of each school year, say June. But there would be instances where she would have to buy the Nightingale uniform, scrub suits, etc, which would already last her a year or 2 like mine did. It's not as if she has to regularly buy one.
For the books, well, I wasn't a frequent visitor in the library. I usually buy my own books. The books I buy however are usually published here in the Philippines so doesn't really come expensive unlike the American editions of the books. The average cost of American edition books would be 3,000 Php up. My books usually range from 300 Php the least and 1,200 Php the most. Also, it's not regularly that you have to buy books like the uniform. 2-3 books per semester I think. I was able to have and collect more or less 10 books the moment I finished nursing. But I think it only cost me an average of 10,000 Php the least and 12,000 - 15,000 Php the most in all my 4 years of nursing. But I say, the library is still the best choice.
Also, I graduated just recently. Average allowance of students like me are from 100 Php to 150 Php in cities like ours. As I've told you, my allowance is only 150 Php but I was still able to save some of it despite my expenses. I can usually have a savings of 1,000 Php at the end of the month. Projects usually do come up but I guess with a course like ours, the most you would be able to spend is only 500 Php as it's not really something technical like engineering where one has to buy expensive parts of computers, etc.
Also, regarding the rich kid thing, like one of the previous replies here, well, you're there to study and not to hang out with the "rich kids."
Hmmm. What else? 20,000 Php is even more than what an average call center agent receives here in our area. The average wage of call center agents here ranges from 10,000 - 12,000 Php. 20,000 Php is already like she's having her own job with a very good position.
I hope this could help. It's not really nice being fooled around. So I think you better should take a look on all her on-goings because she might not be being completely honest with you.
You sound way to mature to worry about what others "may think" so worry not about the age difference, but the true motives and expectations out of the relationship. I am 63 years old and dated Filipinas from 26 to 45 and married a grand young child of 38 a few years back and I have NEVER apologized for any of my actions. These wonderful ladies can do MAGIC to your psyche, but unfortunately they can do a lot of damage as well if not careful. I am also sponsoring 4 students, including my incredible wife, and find this an exciting and productive use of my hard earned pensions. I know many expats here in the PI that have done just what you and I are doing so the schools are very receptive to help out rather than loose a good student or benefactor.
Contact the college and get the dean or registrar on the phone with you...these professionals are glad to assist anyone willing to sponsor their students. You have every right to demand a full accounting of unit fees for tuition, books, dorm fees, etc. just as I suggested above about Xavier univ. Explain to the school your desire to see her successfully complete her course work, but you need a means to direct the funds properly and the school may recommend a very secure way of doing so.
Also, make sure she is crediting towards a BSN degree (4 year nursing degree) rather than caregiver course. Caregiver course is only 6 months and is not accepted outside of the Philippines.
A cellphone and a laptop?!!! Is she insane or just abusive? Financing her family sometimes and allowance is already toooooo much and now she's asking for these caprecho? My my..... Better think twice! I can't think of anyone you can contact except for guidance counselor. I know its improper to call that person and introduce yourself as that and that.... but then why not do a formal introduction to the counselor, maybe through letter. If you dont talk to the admin face to face, you might be have a hard time with the networking thing. I'll think of something.
Oh by the way, regarding the laptop and cellphone, if she is really dedicated to her studies and sensitive to what you feel, she would just use her extra allowance to go to internet cafe' and do her works there. I'm also a "probinsyana (people from province)" I grow up in the province until the age of 8, but I know when a probinsyana or probinsyano are being show off! Trust me! I'm used to this kind of people. What she's asking is not a necessity but a form of "caprecho (wants)" just to show off to other students. There are ways to study that you dont need a laptop. I dont know her well but trust me.... I'm really used to these kind of people! I studied in a school which is 9 out of 10 are rich and you can see who are trying hard and who are naturally a rich kid. Like in the above post said, her daily allowance is P150 and she lives in the province. I live in Manila and my daily allowance is P100. Take note, I always have a extra money. That's why when my father gives me extra money, I give it back because I can't think of anything to spend it. I'm weighing the Manila and province set up, now its your turn to use your brain and decide what's really happening... LISTEN to former students who made it even if they're poor!
If your girl is a breadwinner, there may be times that Php 20,000/month isn't enough. About 7 years ago, a co-worker/friend left her full-time job for medical school. Her sponsor was her biological father who happened to be a doctor in London. Her father successfully tracked her down after 21 years of separation. At that time, my friend had 2 kids and a husband who was a construction worker. When her father encouraged her to go to med school in Manila (her family was in Manila as well), my friend hesitated because of her financial obligation to her family and her ailing mother. Her father insisted and convinced her that she and her family would have a brighter future if she becomes a doctor. So, they had the agreement. Her father was sending her money to cover all expenses related to her schooling plus allowances for her family. I believe her allowance was Php18,000/month in 2001. However, there were times that she needed to ask for more i.e. somebody in the family was sick. She also had to ask for extra money for sons' birthday parties, which she could afford if she was still working full time. To make the story short, her biological father gave up and probably thought that "he was being taken for a ride". In less than a year, she quit school. That was the time when I heard her story because she called my number and asked me if I could help her get her full time job back. My friend never asked for more than what her family needed. She never asked for a laptop or cellphone. She only asked for additional money to cover the expenses that she previously could afforded.
If your girl has a financial obligation to her family, then Php 20,000/month may be enough or lacking. If she were earning money for her family in Hongkong rather than studying, maybe she's able to provide for her family, including their wants. That's the Filipino way of life. We take pleasure in seeing that our family's needs are met even though we work like slaves in foreign lands. It's also true that before we take a bite of our steaks, we think of what our families at home are having for dinner. Maybe your girl loves her family so much that she feels guilty not being able to provide for them because she simply can't.
The best way is for you to seek her heart. Talk to her and do what other readers have suggested. What I wrote here is just another scenario that may consider.
I agree with everyone that you should ask the school's administration for the exact amount to pay for the one you are sponsoring. My husband is a product of someone else's generosity as well. Back in college, he took nursing as a second degree for 3 years and he was sponsored financially from someone in the US for 3 years. However, his sponsor just paid for the exact amount of tuition by sending it directly to the school's bank account. He has given him the school's treasurer/accountant's office number to converse personally how much he needed to pay for his tuition.He has provided for some of his books, and occasionally sends him some pocket money but my husband told me he never ask anything more to him and is just grateful for what his sponsor gives him.
My husband is kind and is offered by a faculty in the same school for a free board and lodging plus, he also finds a way to earn some money for himself.
I can see your very generous, but it seems talking directly from the school's admi is the best thing to do. Ask for the financial breakdown including the board and lodging if the school have it inside or you can have the official receipt be sent to you directly from the landlord or landlady where she stayed in.
20,000 a month is way too big for a college student taking up nursing.
I remember, staying 3-4 years ago in manila, my mom used to give my sister and I averagely 16,000-20,000 pesos-that money for the two of us already- and we are staying in the condo(12500/month) no transportation allowance going to school since we chose a place 5mins. walk away, except for spending some fare on weekends going to our province 80 km away from manila and going around the malls if we just want to hang out there. But we are so wise on our spending since money is hard and we know that. We don't want to burden our mom.
the rest goes for our food and little fancy needs or books if needed. I also buy 2nd hand book if its available.
We try to save or consume whatever is given to us. Well, I've shared some info about us...hope that helps!
I am glad to know there are people like you who are kind enough and willing to help and reach out to others. I, for one dreams of paying it forward...for the generosity of my mom, and the kind people who have helped my husband finished nursing as well.
I am looking forward to send can't afford students to school when I am able and stable already in the future.
May God continually bless us all! have a fantastic 2008!
Some clarifications/additions, I would just like to add that monthly expenses maybe different depending on where she stayed at especially at present time. Is it a city or a province? Obviously, its more expensive in the city especially in Manila. However, living in the province doesn't also necessarily means inexpensive simply because since the nursing course has boomed this year, many schools have raised their fees in somewhat unbelievable cost anywhere in the country and added to that, many schools also has added extra fees allocated for whatever reason as long as they could have additional funds and profit for the school so its a matter of being informed.
I forgot to say that hearing her asking help for the rest of the family is over the edge esp. if happens usually. Maybe you could check out if it really is true and its up to you if you want to extend your generosity with the whole family but you can always set your boundaries to her.
About the laptop, a student nurse will generally have a great advantage if he/she has one. So many paper works/projects needs to be done so she will benefit if she has one on her own...there are a lot of cheap laptops in the US/thailand but I don't know in the Philippines if you can buy a cheap one... most likely a cheap laptop in the Philippines are overpriced so if she's resourceful and thrifty enough to save money from the monthly expenses you could give her, she could get a laptop and even her own cellphone.
Or if you're generous enough, you could give it to her for free, without her having to work for it or have a hard time getting it.
(I did finally have my own desk top when I was in fourth year college-desk top is cheaper and more affordable in my case, but before I have my own computer, I used to type and print my projects/paperworks in internet cafes found along the streets-I remember staying up until midnight just typing and eventually printing projects)
ahhh...those were the days... laptop is handy and u can bring anywhere....
Anyway, your decision and gift of giving to her is what matters and she should learn to respect you for that no matter what it is.:)
Hoss
181 Posts
Ronald Reagan had a pretty good philosophy of "TRUST, but VERIFY"...
My suggestion to you is to email the Dean of the College of Nursing (Dr. Ramona Heidi Palad) immediately to verify her status as a student and her current standing academically. In addition, express your concerns to Dr Palad about making sure the tuition is applied properly and if there is a mechanism by which you could give a monthly living allowance through the school, for her to draw a weekly amount deemed appropriate for rent, food and transportation. Dr. Palad may suggest a trust account at the schools bank whereby you can directly deposit her funds and disburse only upon verification of enrollment and number of units to be paid for each semester. Her email is:
[email protected]
Do not send the student large amounts of money thinking it will all be budgeted properly. Relatives can be notorious scammers, I'm hoping your lady is not one herself. I would try to set up some mechanism where a responsible school Faculty head (the Dean, Registrar, Student Services Dean etc...) can "dole out" only the required amount each week to meet her needs....NOT HER FAMILY!!
Set strict guidelines on the disbursement and work with the college directly on this matter. I'm sure you will be greatly enlightened after corresponding with the college directly. Let us know how it goes!!
Happy New Year!
Hoss