I absolutely agree with what you are pointing out here lenjoy03. :) actually, most or almost all of the post here goes to the same similar points. I like what you've shared especially your ideas of saving some pocket money too for her basic/school needs. I for one, did that...:)
In my recent posts, I am also drawing the line that her behavior is quite different compared to mine, and esp. my husband and some of us here.. including those others who have been a product of someone's goodness indirectly by stating our own personal experiences.
Since, Mr. Sponsor is coming from a different culture or background, each of us who has contributed here is giving him a scenario on which he could based where he would start or at least, have some basic idea coming from the nationals of the country itself.
I have drawn mine based on what hubby and I experienced, and I modestly hope that my input can be looked upon on the two sides of the line as well. While I am giving Mr. Sponsor his freedom to look at closely with the real situation that is happening between her and him, I am also hoping he could see the other side of the road by hearing our inputs as well.
After all has been shared, I think Mr. Sponsor could definitely tell or perhaps conclude what is right and what is not the right thing to do. Which behavior of her is proper and is questionable.
I agree, that 20,000 is tooo much... asking extended help for her family is probably nonconservative as well, more so, asking for a laptop and a cellphone.
But as you can see, I've stated that even in my own experience, I have to teach myself to be thrifty/ be wise-spender to save some money for my needs way back then, I didn't have my own computer until I was in 4th year and hubby tried to save my working part time by any means....
all of these boils down to finishing college by helping my mom(financer) vice versa as well. I didn't ask her for extras except if I really needed too.... and hubby did the same also with his sponsor.
What I'm telling is its really up to Mr. Sponsor to go all the way by giving whatever she asks or teach her early to learn proper values by setting limits as well... it'll be nice of him if he could give her what is appropriately enough and not too lavishly granting her every request. That's why knowing first hand how much is really the cost of her financial needs is really the top priority.
At the end of the tunnel, truly educating someone is not just by sending him/her to school. The character of the person has to be molded properly first so one could properly set his mind to study.
we have been always told to teach a person so he could learn to live for a lifetime not just for a day.
"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for life."
"if you want milk, feed the goat." Nothing in life comes absolutely free. We have to earn it.
As I've said earlier to Mr. Sponsor,
Whatever it be, she should learn to respect whatever is it that is given to her. She should learn to be grateful and if she really needs extra money, there will always be a way if she is honest in her dealings. Most of us here are here today because we earned our way here and ultimately deserved it... I know Mr. Sponsor you are wise as well, and you will know the best way to handle the situation by knowing relevant infos coming from concerned people here:)
God bless :) and thanks for sharing again:)