I've worked on a tele floor for 6 months. Great hospital, great co-workers. I'm 50x faster than I was, and 110% more experienced, but I feel grossly inadequate. (I'm a LPN, finish RN in Dec.) I'm haunted by being told (4 weeks ago) that I was "unsafe" by a charge nurse. (ESRD pt w/low platlet count and possible PE, MD ordered heparin. I couldn't start IV #2 on pt and asked charge to help. I then thought (duh), isn't heparin contraindicated w/ low platlet count?? Why didn't MD see that in the labs? Anyway, I was told that I'm unsafe because I didn't catch the contraindication right away. ~geez, I'm an inexperienced LPN.)
I've talked with the charge nurses, and with the manager who hired me, and they are all very supportive. I just feel like crap, and can't seem to get out of this rut. I'm told this feeling is "normal", but I don't think that crying myself to sleep every night seems normal. How long will this go on?? I don't want to quit my job, but I hate my job. I feel pulled in every direction all at once, as if I'm required to be all-knowing and all-seeing. (I'm sorry if you got d/c orders at 0830, I've got meds to pass before I can do your paperwork, and the charge nurse has to approve the paperwork... after I track down the MD who ordered "continue home meds" without specifying on that pesky MEDICATION RECONCILIATION FORM exactly which meds are to be continued. And, oops, the pt across the hall claims to be having 10/10 chest pain.)
I recognize that this is stuff that happens every day, and will continue to happen forever. I just HATE the way I feel about it. How do I get through it without being so miserable?
Oh my gosh! I see my self is several of these postings. I am an RN student who will finish in Dec. but I am a new LPN who just started LTC/skilled. I hate my job. I can't sleep at night. I reevaluate every med pass, treatment, etc. that I have done throughout the day. I am responsible for 30 patients. Some patients have as many as 15 different medications that need to be passed and many of these are cardiac meds coupled with narcs by which you need to assess prior to admin and then of course follow up. I have very little or no support and it scares me to death. I have stated to the DON that I am a bit overwhelmed and her reply was that it takes most people 6 months before they are comfortable and the other seasoned nurses tell me that I am doing fine and that I will get the hang of it. I don't think so. I have only been at this job for 2 months and to this day I have never gotten out of this place in 13 hours. I even break into a cold sweat and begin to have stomach problems just thinking about my next shift.
I have an interview today as an OR Tech for the summer working into an OR nurse position after I graduate in Dec. The pay is less but it seems to be an excellent training opportunity allowing me to grow as my nursing skills grow not to mention I am very interested in surgery. I am the nerd who likes how things work and go together. I just hope I am making the right move and I will feel some relief.
You got some great advice! I started out as a nurse in the float pool, and that gave me a wider view of all the different "cultures" you find on different units, different workloads, different types of pt and surgeries. I'm thankful for that because if you are only in one place, then that gives you the impression that this 'is' nursing, but nursing is many things. You can try some coping methods like some have suggested, and you can just learn every day (like we all do) and gain confidence, time management skills and a 'tough skin' for critical comments, or you can look around for a different work environment.
Alot of nurses talk about med/surg or floor nursing being the first job out of nursing school as 'doing your time' and getting the basics down, then when your head starts to clear or it's been 'enough' you branch out to something different and find your 'niche'. My 'niche' for a while was postpartum and I loved it, it really was a joy to go to work every day and help moms and babies, now I have moved and got a job on a med/surg floor. never thought I'd do that again, never thought I'd do night shift again, but I am actually happy, lots of variety, finally taking care of men older than 3 days... have to get used to that again. and again, nothing you do is forever.... I wonder what my next 'niche' will be?
OHMIGOD! I thought there was only one person going through this type of misery...me! I am a new nurse who graduated this past December and in my 3rd week of orientation in the ICU. I am totally miserable and feel 1000x stupid when I work. I have terrible time management, forget small things and twice have forgotten to give a med to patients. I feel like I'm slowing creeping towards "Angel of Death" status if I keep up my orientation because I get pulled into so many directions from reviewing orders, balancing two patients that are acutely ill and figuring out which one to see first, and trying to keep a patient alive and being able to say I didn't kill anyone. I don't feel competant enough to care for these patients and I am worried I'll do something erroneous that will result in a fatal disaster (uh, can someone say DEATH!?). *sigh*
A good friend of mine who is finishing her orientation on the same unit states I'm just too fast and need to slow down but I really feel like I have no time to finish anything during my 12 hour shift. By 7pm I'm so tired and feel like crying that I'm already scanning the want ads for a nursing position in a doctor's office.
My preceptor is wonderful and tells me that I'm human and humans make mistakes, humans can't be mighty and I can't expect myself to be the perfect "Nancy Nurse" in week 3 but I swear - I don't think I can expect myself to ever be a good nurse. I'm so disillusioned right now and don't know what to do. I've told my husband I'll stick it out through my orientation and then 6 months on the unit but right now I don't know if I can do 6 more days.
I really do sympathize with your situation - I wish I could give you sage and upbeat advice! For the sake of all of us who are having a hard time - I hope we all make it over our mountain and are able to smile and joke someday about how the first year of nursing was so crazy and weird.
Hey, how about I end this on a funny note? My 3rd day in orientation I had a family tell me their family member's ventilator tanks were empty so I asked someone to call RT and let them know...duh! The vents are ALWAYS plugged into wall O2 unless their traveling. I also found out from RT when the tanks are turned off - they say "Empty" until they are turned on. I was sooo embarrassed. : ) But I figure that's just another story I can place in my file for later.
I graduated in December and work on a progressive care unit. I'm in my 3rd month of orientation, and I notice it's getting better. During the first 8 weeks I cried constantly and called my Mom (a retired nurse) and told her I was a bad nurse and made a huge mistake.
My original preceptor was awful - she micromanaged everything I did and had really unrealistic expectations for a new grad. On my 2nd day, she got mad at me because I wasn't fast enough. She got me so scared I started making stupid mistakes. I had stomach aches before each shift and dreaded going in. I finally told my manager that I couldn't be with that preceptor anymore because I was regressing. I got a new preceptor and it's much better.
But I still think I have PTSD from the first wretched lady! I still have the stomach aches/anxiety before each shift, but now I'm much better about 3 hours into the shift. My new preceptor is more hands off - she lets me work through things and make my own decisions and then steps in every now and then to make sure I've done everything correctly. And I feel very comfortable approaching her and asking for help. That's half the battle! Finally yesterday I handled four patients (our top load) and even caught a doctor's error. So I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Nursing is my second career (my first in corporate marketing) and it's incredibly hard to start out. You're expectedly to know an ungodly amount of information, including disease pathologies, how to use highly technical equipment, learning the hospital's protocals, even learning the doc's. And - oh - if you make a simple mistake you could hurt someone too!
My Mom went through a diploma hospital program back in the 60's and was much better prepared clinically. For example, for her psych rotation, she spent 3 months 5 days a week at a mental hospital. My psych rotation was 6 days. So we get crappy, limited clinical experience and then we're thrown into hospitals with much sicker patients - what do you think is going to happen?
So it does get better, although not in a nice, neat progression. You'll have one day where you think - I can do this! And then the next day you're in tears. But I am starting to see overall it's getting better. And my Mom told me after each shift to think about 3 things I can do now that I couldn't do before. It's easy to dwell on your mistakes and you don't realize your accomplishments. And even if your floor sucks, you won't be there forever, so it's not a death sentence. There are a lot of ways you can go in nursing. Good luck to everyone!
I have been reading everyone's stories about how awful their first year has been. I have just been accepted into a 3 year BSN program. This will be my second undergraduate degree. Not to be nosey but what type of nursing school did some of you attend? I am just curious as to whether or not this is a common occurance of all first year nurses, or if it is because of a lack of clinical experience in the nursing program.
Just listening to your stories makes my heart palpitate! I understand there are hardships with any job, but I am sure this not how most of you pictured feeling in your first nursing job. Any advise for someone just entering a nursing program, especially when it comes to clinicals would be most appreciated!!
not EVERYONE'S miserable. I was, I admit for the first little while as a nurse, but I must say, having a good preceptor is everything! I am just finishing a 6 month orientation in a pediatric ER and I absolutely love it, the staff is so supportive and so wonderful that any time I have the slightest question I can easily ask another nurse or doctor and they're very happy to answer it! I think being in a good unit with lots of support is everything and the ER is nice because the doctors are right there if you have a question about an order, and they're so grateful for the nurses because they see what the nurses do for them. I admit, there are nurses that will call you "unprofessional" or that what you're doing to help a patient is "inappropriate"... but sometimes you have to just let it roll off your back and remember the good things you've done.
I know that floors can be difficult and stressful, but it'll get better. When we get critical patients in the ER, it's very stressful (not the same as floor stressful, I admit) but having a supportive staff that is so willing to help you out is everything! I think if you are looking to work on a particular unit, ask to shadow a nurse on the floor for a few hours to see if it's exactly what you're hoping for.
Something else that helped me for those current students was I worked in an office for a few months before I went into the ER. This was good because I saw a lot of "well" kids before seeing the sick ones in the ER, plus I got the telephone triage thing down which helped a lot in educating my patients. So if you're really scared, go to an office first, or shadow a nurse on the floor you want to work!
I hope that's helpful to the students. And to those stressed-out new nurses, as it is said in Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming!" Life will get better, you just have to stick it out and see the GOOD things about your job, (I know they're there!). I hope this post was at least a little helpful. Best luck to you all!
Very true about how your preceptor can set the tone for your orientation experience. Not everyone is miserable, but it's not uncommon for it to happen. You have to have thick skin and don't let one person's comments convince you that you can't be a good nurse. Search for positive people and ask for their help. And if it's not working out - tell someone for God's sakes - you don't have to suffer through it.
Anyway, I went to a Big Ten University and it seems that I got the same amount of clinical time that most schools provide. Using the university model, it's not possible to give students a realistic nursing experience. There's so much liability involved and there are several things that you're not allowed to do as student. The best thing to do is get a clinical job while you're in school. That helps immensely. Be a CNA or student nurse - even if it's just for 8 hours a week or something. Also, I think I had a harder time because after I graduated, I moved to another state and there were a lot of differences in my new hospital from what I learned in school. I think a lot of people end up working in hospitals where they do their clinicals, so they're already somewhat familiar with how things are done. I know many people who had better experiences, so it's not bad for everyone. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones!
I just wanted to say how much it has helped me just reading about everyone's concerns and issues. I just graduated from a ADN program in PA. I am going to a 437-bed hospital. Busy med/surg ORTHO floor in less than two weeks. I have so many conerns myself. It is very frustrating thinking about what might happen. I just try to keep positive within myself because that's all I can do right now. I have the knowlegde base as well as all of you our time will come when we are the seasoned proficient experienced nurses.
I just want to applaud all of you who are you are struggling right but really you are SURVIVING. Being you have come this far and you have worked and continue to work hard to be the best nurse you can you derseve to be reminded of that.
That care of yourselves! I wish the best for all of you in your nursing careers.
I empathize with all of you...I feel something with each post so far. I am coming off orientation in a few days. I am on a med/surg ortho floor and started out with a horrible preceptor and dont feel happy. My next preceptor sits on the internet all night, I feel like I am imposing to ask a question. I know I shouldnt but I do. The others seem to eat all night and gossip. I feel like I am constantly running. Everyone says how supportive and helpful they are but when I need the help I dont get it. After I am caught up they tell me they will be here when I come off orientation. Actions speak louder than words and I dont feel it is sincere. I am currently on nights and wondering if days might be better. Sometimes I end up in the locker room crying. I feel sick going in to work. I want to go to days because more new grads I can relate to, and people seem very helpful. But I am scared becasue they are busier I will be even more stressed out. I am clueless for now. I want to be happy and dont feel that way. After 4 years of school I feel that I should be happy, this is what I want to do. Here I dont know anymore???
Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.
RN2B07. . .while a preceptor is not supposed to be a bosom buddy, you should get the impression that they are interested in you and your transition to becoming an RN and to master nursing skills and learn to organize and prioritize your work shift. If you are not getting that then you have every reason to cry. Nothing insenses me more as a manager than an employee who takes advantage of some down time when orienting new employees to surf the Internet! In all the years I've worked as a staff nurse there was always something that needed to be done for the patients or around the unit before surfing any Internet sites. While you should ask your preceptor questions, your preceptor should also be checking up on what you are doing and be aware that some people are shy and don't want to give the impression of being a pest. Again, if you are not getting that from your preceptors, you have another reason to cry. You are right--actions speak louder than words. If this kind of stuff goes on at night, you've got to wonder what goes on during the day. Why don't you just look for another job? You don't have to quit this one while you're job hunting. I don't know what the job situation is where you are living, but in the urban areas the smarter hospitals are aware that this treatment of new grads does go on and they are ready and willing to take on the unhappy employees of these hospitals.
I empathize with all of you...I feel something with each post so far. I am coming off orientation in a few days. I am on a med/surg ortho floor and started out with a horrible preceptor and dont feel happy. My next preceptor sits on the internet all night, I feel like I am imposing to ask a question. I know I shouldnt but I do. The others seem to eat all night and gossip. I feel like I am constantly running.
I hear you! I just got off a 5 month orientation in an ICU, and have worked independently for 3 weeks. My first preceptor was HORRIBLE, a micromanager who told me that maybe I shouldn't be in critical care. I "fired" her, and got 2 preceptors much better, but I think I still have PTSD ffrom the first one.
I worked a 7-7 overnight shift the other night, and I was running the whole night, while the other nurses all seemed to be sitting at the desk. I was turning, doing oral care, answering the call light of one needy patient, changing the brief of total care patient who had liquid stool, giving 5 million meds, etc. Meanwhile, I don't know if these other nurses' patients were turned ever. It makes me kind of frustrated, or am I just a bad time manager?
So then, in the am, I got chewed out by a doc coming on about something (another story entirely). Then they wonder why there is a nursing shortage.
Anyway, I have to agree with a previous poster that there are sure ups and downs the first year, some days go well, and some days go terrible.
I have been reading everyone's stories about how awful their first year has been. I have just been accepted into a 3 year BSN program. This will be my second undergraduate degree. Not to be nosey but what type of nursing school did some of you attend? I am just curious as to whether or not this is a common occurance of all first year nurses, or if it is because of a lack of clinical experience in the nursing program.
Just listening to your stories makes my heart palpitate! I understand there are hardships with any job, but I am sure this not how most of you pictured feeling in your first nursing job. Any advise for someone just entering a nursing program, especially when it comes to clinicals would be most appreciated!!
Thanks!
Unfortunately, nothing will prepare you for the rigors of nursing except nursing itself. You will learn how to do things in school, but you won't really know how to prioritize your shift until you are in the thick of it..and it will take you some time doing it. That is the KEY...develop your own way of getting through the night. For example, I used to open my charts a million times during the night thinking I forgot to do something or forgot to do a chart check, sign off an order, chart a med, etc. I wasted a lot of time doing that. Then, I made a check list on my kardex...once my task was checked off, I didn't fumble through the chart checking it again. You can't store everything in your brain...you'll either forget it or obsess over it if you try. Perhaps during clinicals, you can practice keeping all your ducks in a row. Once you have a system, you will feel that you are in control and be able to manage your time.
NO1_2NV
90 Posts
Oh my gosh! I see my self is several of these postings. I am an RN student who will finish in Dec. but I am a new LPN who just started LTC/skilled. I hate my job. I can't sleep at night. I reevaluate every med pass, treatment, etc. that I have done throughout the day. I am responsible for 30 patients. Some patients have as many as 15 different medications that need to be passed and many of these are cardiac meds coupled with narcs by which you need to assess prior to admin and then of course follow up. I have very little or no support and it scares me to death. I have stated to the DON that I am a bit overwhelmed and her reply was that it takes most people 6 months before they are comfortable and the other seasoned nurses tell me that I am doing fine and that I will get the hang of it. I don't think so. I have only been at this job for 2 months and to this day I have never gotten out of this place in 13 hours. I even break into a cold sweat and begin to have stomach problems just thinking about my next shift.
I have an interview today as an OR Tech for the summer working into an OR nurse position after I graduate in Dec. The pay is less but it seems to be an excellent training opportunity allowing me to grow as my nursing skills grow not to mention I am very interested in surgery. I am the nerd who likes how things work and go together. I just hope I am making the right move and I will feel some relief.