How long will I be miserable?

newnurse51 · May 8, 2006

Floor nursing is very stressful. There are constant interruptions, too many things a new grad is suppose to know. I lasted 9 months on a telemetry floor when I was involved in 2 errors and told I was unsafe to care for patients. Don't give up on yourself, don't give up on nursing. Floor nursing may not be right for you. I would look into other options. It's not worth the stress you are going through. Remember that high levels of stress will knock out your immune system which in turn will leave you open to all kinds of illness. You sound like a nurse who is trying very hard, cares that she is doing the right thing and is trying to learn from her mistakes. I would see what else is out there.

grentea · May 9, 2006

I was on a floor several months ago that was crazy, very organized but very crazy. Half the beds were tele and it specialized in all sorts of different neurological issues. I was doing a fine job but I felt like I was loosing my mind at work sometimes. It really took a toll on me once I came home. I couldn't sleep and I felt awful. It was the same sort of things as your floor. I had a wonderful nurse manager, very supportive and helpful co-workers, and all of that. It was just the environment of the floor that was not right for me. I went to a different hospital and after being bounced around a bit, I found a floor that I love. I'm on a rehab floor which is a lot lower stress. It's still considered med-surg but the patients a stable for the most the part. I think exercising really helps and finding something regular to do outside of work. Seeing a counselor really helped me too. The employee assistance program at my old hospital had a program that let me see a counselor for free for several sessions. It always helps to talk about what's bothering you. You really don't have to feel terrible all the time. It's possible to find a place where you aren't because there's so much out there. If you want to stick it out on your floor talk to some of the experienced about how they coped with starting out on your floor. They could probably give you some good ideas and you'll find out that you're definitely not alone.

Daytonite, BSN, RN · May 9, 2006

All right, dry your tears. You said it yourself. You're 50x faster and 110% more experienced. That's good! Don't let a crabby, old (or young) charge nurse get you down. A person who is a good leader doesn't pop off with nasty comments like you are "unsafe" unless she is sitting down with you and giving you an official evaluation. Was she doing that? Doesn't sound like it? What it sounds like is that she let her emotions overwhelm her in a stressful situation and she exposed something about herself that maybe you didn't catch. . .it takes one to know one, or my favorite, every dog smells his own. I'd be willing to bet a good chunk of money that somewhere in this crabapple's past she actually made a mistake real similar to this only she probably didn't catch her mistake and caught hell for it and never forgot it. Unfortunately, you're suffering for her long past boo-boo. Chin up. She's a lousy person to be in charge to speak to you that way. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you did every thing right. Don't let her bad behavior influence the way you treat others.

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 9, 2006

First of all your charge nurse that said that you were incompetent shouldn't overshadow all the other positive feedback your getting. The charge nurse should be upset with the incompetent doctor and congratulating you for catching it.

Being a nurse on a floor like that is tough and demanding for the best of nurses. As was stated above you're so much better than you were six months ago and six months from now you'll be even better. Sometimes you have to put one foot in front of the other and walk through.

I face the same issues, but I realize that I can't do everything at one time and I have to prioritize. Good communication skills and rapport with patients smooths out the rough edges of them not getting a piece of me in a timely manner to suit them, or to suit the charge nurse, doctors or case managers, etc.

With 15 things to do at once, I just tackle one thing at a time without freaking out.

Hang in there. If in six months time you still feel the same way perhaps it would be advisable to move on. By then you will have one year experience and can readily get another job that is more of a fit. A busy demanding floor like that isn't necessarily going to change, if it don't fit, don't force it.

PinkJuneBugRN · May 11, 2006

Wow. That's me. I've been working med-surg (general, in a less-than 100 bed facility), for 4 months, and I wake up every other night panicking about something I think (or imagine) I left undone. I worry constantly about making a terrible mistake and losing my license. I worry because I made the decision to report a coworker for not doing chart checks/missing orders (3 times before I got up the nerve) and I think she's trying to intentionally "leave messes" for me. I was at work 3 hours late tonight completing things she said were "in the computer" or "done." I worry because I know if I appear to be critical of her, others will be just as critical of me. I hope this gets better, because I don't know how long I can keep on like this. It just seems like if you do everything you possibly can do right, it just isn't enough, and you still feel like a nurse impostor!

heather1999 · May 16, 2006

Oh, you don't know how relieved I am to know I'm not the only one that feels miserable as a new nurse (graduated in Dec, like you.)! I work on a Med-Surg Oncology floor (66 bed unit) and I'm so overwhelmed and stressed! There's so much to remember....not only are we learning about being nurses, we're learning our hospitals policies and procedures! I'm right there with you... I don't cry EVERY day, but I cry often.

The other day, I got 2 admits within a 1/2 hour of each other...not only did they both need to be admitted, one needed to be prepped for emergency surgery and the other had to go to ultrasound. At the same time, blood bank calls to tell me my blood was ready..."what blood?" I thought (I wasn't informed in report that I would be giving my MRSA patient 2 units of PRBC's). At the same time, my diabetic patient needed insulin coverage and my other patient was due to have her Q2 hr antibiotics hung. I mean, how do you prioritize care in situations like that? Everything is important! I felt I was gonna go crazy...I nearly burst into tears and my coworkers could see I visibly upset.

I think it will get easier as we get more experience. In talking with seasoned nurses, not everyday will be miserable the way it is now for us. But they tell me there will still be days that are rough with "heavy" patient loads that upset even a seasoned nurse.

I fear marks against my license also...I frequently check our state board website to make sure my license is in good standing. I pray to God that I haven't had any mistakes with my patient care.

I even started smoking again, I've been so stressed!

I think that we need a nice vacation after all the stress of nursing school and Nuclex...laying around on a beach somewhere or staying in a cabin in the mountains. I feel like I need to re-charge my proverbial battery. I'm exhausted and stressed and emotional and afraid all at the same time.

We're gonna be ok...nursing is tough, but it's rewarding, too. Our patients need us! Hang in there and I will, too!

nrcnurse · May 16, 2006

I am now beginning to loathe my job. I keep thinking that I'll stick it out and use them (tuition reimbursment, benefits, CEUs, ACLS, etc.) as much as they use me (although I'm feeling like an endentured servant.) However, even a different mindset is not making it any easier to go to work. A year on a cardiac floor would look great on my resume, but a this rate I may end up as a patient on the floor. (And, I would rather die than be a patient at ANY hospital.)

I was floated for the first time last Saturday. At first it was very spooky, but ended up being a great experience. I was sent to a floor identical to mine, so that was a plus. I had five patients (normal load), three of whom were d/c'd before noon. I got one admission in the afternoon, who arrived as i was going to lunch. When I got back, my "cover-buddy" told me she had done the admission for me and entered it into the computer. (OMG!!! She went SO out of her way to do that!) In addition, she had called the MD because the pt wanted to be a DNR, and took the calls from the consulting MDs. In addition to this one very helpful nurse, the rest of the staff was equally friendly, genuine, and supportive. I told them I'd be happy to float there any time. If only all of life were so sublime....

Sunday I was back on my floor, which was the first cousin to a nut house. We started with 21 pts, five nurses, a charge, a monitor tech, two CNAs and no unit secretary. One nurse was floated, and the charge ended up being the secretary. Then "they" started sending pts to fill our empty beds. The charge put her foot down and said "absolutely not." (I LOVE this charge nurse.) However, the pts came anyway. THIS IS A CARDIAC FLOOR. ONE NURSE CAN'T CARE FOR 8 CARDIAC PTS Q SHIFT. In addition, 1/2 the pts were very demanding or potential psych pts. One pt and her daughter were upset with their nurse because she declined to discuss her zodiac sign with them. The charge had a "talk" with them, and I later inquired if they'd asked about her zodiac sign. She gave me "a look" and said, "no." This lunacy is going on amidst pts having legitimate issues that required immediate assistance. I took my last admission at 16:30, who (THANK GOD!) was A&O, W&T, 23 hr obs, and probably was d/c'd the next morning. If I'd had a critically ill pt I don't know what I would have done. There just was not enough of me (or anyone else) to go around.

Did I mention that I loathe my job?

At the end of the shift, I had to give report to a nurse who ALWAYS asks me things that aren't necessarily relevant, and that I, of course, don't know. (I don't know the rate of the TPN on the terminal CA pt, who is a full code and all day kept saying that she was dying and didn't want to die alone. And, yes, I know that she should be a DNR, but she doesn't want to die, so talking her into a DNR was not on my agenda today. TPN is hung for 24h at 22:00 everywhere in the hospital. The rate is what it is.) I'm thinking, "I have survived this day, now I just need to get through 10 minutes of report." I've had tougher days, but I was no less happy to leave the hospital.

I didn't get out of bed yesterday. That's how my job is effecting me. I need to figure out how to get through this. If every nurse goes through stress/depression/agnst, then why do we do this job??? If it has been going on FOREVER, then why is there no a solution for it?? We can cure cancer and go to the moon, then why can't we fix what appears to be a MANAGEMENT problem.

Oh, groan~ I'm back on the floor tomorrow. I have a prayer that I've been using a lot lately, "God, please help me to not run from this." It always seems to work.

Thanks for letting me vent.

indigo girl · May 16, 2006

Why work in that environment when there are so many areas to choose from?

Sometimes we let our pride, (I can do this, no matter what attitude) overcome our sense of our own health and feelings of wellness. It's no sin to leave and come back better prepared with more experience in a less toxic place. You can not fix the environment!!! You are not the problem. It will go on without you. Life is short. Do something that makes you happy. It exists, and your job is to find it, not suffer doing something just to pay the bills. I wish you Light, Love, and Happiness. You deserve it!!!

jonear2, RN · May 17, 2006

I swear to god I had to look at the screen name to make sure that I myself was not the OP. This mirrors my situation, I grad. in Dec. also, on a "progressive care" (read higher accuity) floor. I called my manager a few days ago and said we have a problem, I am just not with it. I am behind and backwards and I want to work in a nice doctor's office somewhere and not even necessarily as a nurse. Housekeeping would be fine. She said absolutely not and gave me a project. She told me to get a journal and after every shift I was to write down all of the bad things that happened on the shift and also all of the good things. And for every "crisis" or problem or freak out moment I came to her with, she also wanted me to tell her something positive that I had done that day. And it sounds funny but actually it has helped alot. It makes me focus more on what I have done correctly and well than what i am lacking. There are still crazy days, the crackheads, the chest pains, the heparin drips, STAT this and STAT that and all these other things that make me want to freak out, but then I think ok obviously I CAN do this because I AM doing this. But if u hate where u are, try something different.

beckabeckahi · May 18, 2006

Hi everyone,

I have been on the floor for close to three months now, and I can totally empathize with what everyone is going through. But crying yourself to sleep at night and not being able to get out of bed on your day off, is not normal. Yes, being a new grad is tough, but if the situation you in is making you cry daily, and ruining your days off--I think its a signal that something needs to change. Whether it be your work environment or a new way of coping.

As another poster mentioned, there are days when there isn't enough of me to go around. Hospital floors are hectic and chaotic. The biggest problem I think alot of new nurses have (myself included) is the expectation that nurses are perfect. We're just human. All I can do is go and give 110% and go home knowing I have done the best I possibly could. This week I switched from days to orienting nights, so my game is a little off and put the wrong pt label on a UA and last night I programmed the IV pump and started to run antibiotics without hooking up to the pt. And you know what? The nurses I work with have all done similar things. They were like "it happens." The floor was crazy, we were being slammed with admissions and its not that I lack proficiency in IV therapy or obtaining a specimen, its that all of my patients had immediate needs and I had one patient with a psych history who pulled out her NG tube--constantly checking on her and concerned for her safety, calling pharmacy for missing meds, etc. etc. You know the drill. And we wonder why we may be overwhelmed and bit frazzled?

It also helps me when I can get a break, to take it off the floor for a few minutes. I try as much as possible to not think about work on my days off, but its tough when i feel like I constantly need to reading and double checking new things I ran across on the previous shift. I'm not sure if I am going to stay in hospital nursing, which is really a surprise because I always thought that is what i wanted to do. But I want to tough it out for at least a year to get some very valuable experience.

My advice is to try to relax and decompress as much as possible on your days off. And bolster your self confidence, muster up all the strength it took you to get through nursing school and pass your boards. You CAN do it.

nrcnurse · May 18, 2006

She told me to get a journal and after every shift I was to write down all of the bad things that happened on the shift and also all of the good things.

This is a good idea. I've been journaling forever (I was a writer in my "previous professional incarnation") and it DOES work. I also exercise and do yoga. SSRIs help, too. However... I'm still feeling like Ive been hit by a truck. Yesterday was a reasonably good day... I was even complemented on my confidence and critical thinking skills. (Those are the moments worth revisiting.) But, I did have a Spanish-speaking 95 y/o dementia pt, at the END of the hall, always on her call light.... I had no clue what she wanted, and neither did my Spanish-speaking co-workers.

Get this-- the same pt was brought to the ER with SOB, and then she codes. They bring her back, and afterwards see in her paperwork that she's a DNR. oops. Then they send her up to me.

I'm going on an interview thisafternoon, with a recruiter who called me. It was really hard to drag my butt out of bed, but I'm showered and civilized, and I'm going to go "tire kicking." Details to follow.

Thanks again for the moral support.