How do you leave it at work?

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Hi everyone! I'm a new nurse and I had a really bad day a bit ago with a patient who I had to call our rapid response team for and he ended up in the ICU (I have no idea other than that, HIPAA and all) and a small part of me wants to know how he is doing. He was young and I felt helpless when I couldn't fix the oxygenation issue that was going on at that time (O2 sats dropping despite increasing oxygen to 6 liters-the only method we have on our floor is nasal cannula unless respiratory brings it). I hugged his mother as they left the floor and that's the last I heard about him.

I've done everything I can think of to leave it at work but it still nags at me occasionally that I want to know how he's doing. Logically, I know that it's honestly none of my business, I'm there for my shift to take care of my patients and go home and return on my next scheduled shift to do the same. I have no desire to call and find out or do any of the creepy things I've read/heard about nurses doing (showing up to the room to check in on my days off, calling, sending flowers, etc.). I honestly just have a curiosity that I know can't ever be satisfied and I think it's because he was the first patient who left the floor on my shift to go to a higher level of care. I've had fleeting thoughts of other patients, too, who have touched me in some way, whether it be how sweet they were to me or how kind their family was.

I just need to know: what kind of methods do you use to leave it at work? I know this is one of the (I'm sure many) places I need to improve.

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I would hate to have you as my nurse. I feel for your patients.

Lol, I keep them alive, healthy and in good order (clean and organized). That's my job. What's yours?

Feelings aren't a job.

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And actually no. Not less than 6 months.

https://allnurses.com/first-year-after/starting-my-new-992243.html

Come again?

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Lol, I keep them alive, healthy and in good order (clean and organized). That's my job. What's yours?

Feelings aren't a job.

Being a nurse is a privilege. And a calling. If your feelings aren't in it at all, what kind of nurse can you be? If I am going to be a great nurse, I want to be able to put myself in their shoes and give them the best care they deserve, the kind that I would want. There once was a day where nurses were kind, considerate, empathetic, caring, and felt compassionate for the ones they cared for. I didn't get into this profession to just keep people alive. I entered this profession because I care a great deal about people.

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Okay and so what. You're using my time of being a new nurse to try and make your point. When I know great nurses with my mentality. Again, I feel sorry for those under your care.

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Being a nurse is a privilege. And a calling. If your feelings aren't in it at all, what kind of nurse can you be? If I am going to be a great nurse, I want to be able to put myself in their shoes and give them the best care they deserve, the kind that I would want. There once was a day where nurses were kind, considerate, empathetic, caring, and felt compassionate for the ones they cared for. I didn't get into this profession to just keep people alive. I entered this profession because I care a great deal about people.

Lord have mercy, idealism at it's finest. You have a lot to learn and not just the rhetoric and dogma pawned out by nursing schools.

I felt like I just read an excerpt from a nursing school pamphlet. Let me know when you run out of Kool-Aid I think you drank the whole pitcher.

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Lord have mercy, idealism at it's finest. You have a lot to learn and not just the rhetoric and dogma pawned out by nursing schools.

I felt like I just read an excerpt from a nursing school pamphlet. Let me know when you run out of Kool-Aid I think you drank the whole pitcher.

Thanks, you have a great day too! :)

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Okay and so what. You're using my time of being a new nurse to try and make your point. When I know great nurses with my mentality. Again, I feel sorry for those under your care.

You flat out lied. Nurses don't lie.

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You flat out lied. Nurses don't lie.

Oh well dang. I guess mark that up as lesson learned! Thanks for pointing that out, I should have known better

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Specializes in Acute Care.

Although Dranger is lacking some tact... they are absolutely right. You have some pleasant ideas about what being a nurse is like... but you don't know. You have no experience as a nurse and you are responding based on new excitement and the "idea" of what being a nurse is all about. Thats nice- but not realistic. Easy with how you respond to experienced nurses. They can teach you A LOT... Also... I would change your picture... as a new professional you will want to keep any identifying markers off the internet. You can thank me later.

As to the OP... I agree with the commute home. My commute is also about 40 minutes... And that helps! It gives me time to reflect and disengage from a stressful day. It is just a job, but it can sometimes be hard to let go of a difficult day- but to benefit your future patients you have to put it aside... but that takes time. Don't be too hard on yourself! Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders!

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Although Dranger is lacking some tact... they are absolutely right. You have some pleasant ideas about what being a nurse is like... but you don't know. You have no experience as a nurse and you are responding based on new excitement and the "idea" of what being a nurse is all about. Thats nice- but not realistic. Easy with how you respond to experienced nurses. They can teach you A LOT... Also... I would change your picture... as a new professional you will want to keep any identifying markers off the internet. You can thank me later

I'd rather have my pleasant thoughts than to go in there thinking like that. I'm allowed to be excited and I'm allowed to go in with that mentality. It's not very fair for those "experienced nurses" to kick you down. I think it's good to go in with a positive attitude. That's just me though. Sorry you guys don't think it's realistic to think like me, but its going to keep my head up on my tough days. Thanks for the advice though!

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Specializes in Hospice.
I would hate to have you as my nurse. I feel for your patients.

What Dranger says might sound blunt and COB to you, but he has a point.

Look at your screen name-NO nurse can be "Super" 365 days a year. You will burn yourself out very quickly if you continue to think that.

Your response to him gives away your youth, as well. Who are you to assume that he doesn't care for his patients? Again, he's a bit blunt, but you have no reason to feel superior.

What we do as nurses IS a job, a job we train long and hard for. We work under stressful conditions, knowing we are responsible for the well-being of our patients. Sometimes it's a truly life or death situation. Do some of our patients stay with us long after they have passed out of our lives? Of course-I have several who occupy a corner of my heart, some from almost 40 years ago, some more recent, and I think about them once in awhile.

Do I obsess over them? Do I lose sleep over things done or not done? Nope. Because I did my job to the best of my ability. That doesn't mean I didn't care for them or feel compassion for what they were going through.

Your name tells me you are young and filled with idealistic indignation. You're going to have problems maintaining your equilibrium if you don't work on filing down that chip you carry around so proudly on your shoulder. Sometimes older nurses really DO know what they're talking about-how do you think we stay strong enough to stay at the bedside for decades?

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Specializes in Acute Care.
I'd rather have my pleasant thoughts than to go in there thinking like that. I'm allowed to be excited and I'm allowed to go in with that mentality. It's not very fair for those "experienced nurses" to kick you down. I think it's good to go in with a positive attitude. That's just me though. Sorry you guys don't think it's realistic to think like me, but its going to keep my head up on my tough days. Thanks for the advice though!

Never once said you shouldn't be excited. This is a very exciting time for you... but you are naive and you need to take this opportunity to listen and learn. There are many experienced nurses here who can teach you a lot. I wish you the best of luck. Try not to be so defensive.

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