How do you know if I am Gay or Straight?

Anoetos, BSN, RN · May 4, 2010

The possibility of "bearding" not withstanding, the fact that they are all married might be a clue.

allnurses Guide · May 4, 2010

I don't think most nurses fixate on that at all. They just want to work with someone who is good at their job.

Anoetos, BSN, RN · May 4, 2010

Yeah, I didn't mean to imply that it mattered at all. It doesn't.

FLmomof5 · May 4, 2010

Our class is EVE/WE....we stay together for the WHOLE course. We have met each other's families and have become a tight knit group. Some of our gay men are "obvious" and that is OK too. No one cares about orientation!

I think straight men entering nursing will help stop the assumption that all men in nursing are gay and instead be respected for the work they do.

Argo · May 4, 2010

Who cares? Unless your doing your business in public I could care less. That goes for gay and straight people. No body wants to see that BS

ItsTheDude · May 4, 2010

to the op, you're the exact reason why i say around 50% or so of male nurses are gay. there's the flamers, then there's the openly gay and then there's those that don't advertise it (some of them are still easy to spot), but others can be hard to spot on the gaydar though (some are married with kids, bisexual is still gay to me). most straight ppl just can't comprehend the manly gay guy, it doesn fit their stereotype.

anyways, to those that say being gay doesn't matter:

sorry, but IT DOES MATTER if you're gay in every state i've lived in, you can be openly discriminated (job, etc) against because of it.

guess what, the religious nuts and gay haters are nurses, nurse educators, and everything thing else under the sun in health care. health care isn't much different from the rest of society, but i do think health care as a whole is a bit more tolerant of glbt ppl.

bigrigcowboy · May 5, 2010

As I reread my OP I realize I may have some across as angry. I am not, my purpose was twofold, first that I do believe that the percentage of gay men in nursing is above the average 10% and to warn people against ASSUMING. I cannot tell you how many times I have endured hateful gay jokes because everyone assumed there was no one gay around.

Perpetual Student · May 5, 2010

I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's by actually talking with and getting to know the fellow students or coworkers. For example, if someone says he's got a wife and kids or a girlfriend he's obviously not gay--or at least he's in denial about it. Based on my experience working with quite a few Y-chromosome equipped nurses over the years I believe that gay men make up a small minority. The vast majority that I've known have had wives. I can only think of one openly gay man out of the dozen or so male nurses I've known well. And he is a great nurse and instructor. There may be others who keep it quiet, but they really are a minority.

Assumptions can be quite hurtful and it's important that we all treat our colleagues with respect and courtesy regardless of their sexual orientation (or our perception thereof). That goes for women, too, as there are plenty of lesbian nurses out there.

I'm sure some assume I'm gay even though I'm not. I'm young, slightly effeminate in some mannerisms (though super masculine in others), unmarried, and nursing is my first career.

allnurses Guide · May 5, 2010

As I reread my OP I realize I may have some across as angry. I am not, my purpose was twofold, first that I do believe that the percentage of gay men in nursing is above the average 10% and to warn people against ASSUMING. I cannot tell you how many times I have endured hateful gay jokes because everyone assumed there was no one gay around.

I'm straight, but if I hear hateful gay jokes, I'm going to call them out on it. Mean-spirited people can't tell a "joke". When you're mean, nothing you say is funny. So telling haters to **** won't be equivalent to coming out.

Though I really hate the is he or isn't he parlor game, where I live, the ratio is at least 40%. Referring to a wife or kids should not be interpreted as a sure sign of straightness, though. I had a guy in my class who talked about his "wife" all the time. There was no wife. There was a partner. It saddens me greatly that he had to worry constantly about a "he" slipping out in an unguarded moment. Also, his "wife" could not attend his graduation. Or attend family get-togethers. :mad:

As for the 10% vs 40% thing--- that may be regional? One post from a guy who worked in ER, who stood by in silence when the doctor who was treating a young man who had been assaulted "this guy needs to learn that this is not an area he wants to be in". I can't imagine a doctor who would say that to a male coworker in a large urban area.

Mike A. Fungin RN · May 5, 2010

I know I've said that all of the guys in my nursing class were straight, but only after four years of school together during which we five became extremely close.

mikethemurse, BSN, RN · May 7, 2010

Personally, I have had quite a few people assume that I am gay because of the fact that I am a male, and an RN. It doesn't bother me. I do think that (at least in the urban area in which I live/work) There are a greater number of homosexual male nurses, and I have never had any experience with ignorant jerks mistreating any of them. Out of the seven men in my class in nursing school, only one of them was gay, but again we spent years with one another in school, and were a pretty tight group.So we knew everyone's sig. others well. Stereotypes suck! But health care is one place where I think that people of all cultures/back rounds are more tolerated.