How do I get over this?

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Okay...so this is kind of a "sob story". Yes, I'm a pre-nursing student taking 20CR (six classes). I've posted this in the student forum, but I figured you guys would have good advice as well.

I found out one of my friends tried to commit suicide a few days ago by OD and would have succeeded if she hadn't taken the pills all at once (took like 50 of them and threw them up; I've never been so thankful for that reflex). I've never had anything like this happen before, and this was a friend that I'm really, really close to. I haven't been able to focus, and I've had trouble studying (or retaining what I'm studying). I'm burnt-out enough and this has just been the icing on the cake. I have 8 exams left in the next two weeks (including four finals), and I need to be able to get my butt back in gear.

Any tips, hints? Please...I can't afford to fail these classes.

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Specializes in ICU, Float RN , Quality & PI.

Wow, I am sorry to hear that. I have gone through a similar situation It was my senior year of mursing school and my friend committed suicide. I was also pregnant at ths time. ( STRESSED OUT) Its ironic because today it has been 5 years. I read it in the paper this morning they always have a memory add for him. This was very tough for me, but you need to try to keep focused because that is what your friend would want. You need to be there for your friend and try to help him or her get resources to get help. I cant tell you how to get over this because my situation yet different outcome still haunts me today. I will keep you and your friend in my prayers. I completed school knowing thats what i needed to do. I was so nervous for boards, but i passed on my first try. You can do it. It is very hard when life throws us curve balls that are so painful.

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As tragic as this story is, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Be thankful for that.

Now you just have to realize that you're still in charge of your life and continue on with the decisions you have made. Finishing nursing school was one of those decisions. You can't let someone else's decision about their life alter your course.

Provide support? Take time out to be there for them? Let them know they are loved? Of course!!!

Good luck to you and your friend.

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Specializes in Psych.

I'm very sorry to hear that. As terrible as it is, you should use this situation to motivate you instead of allowing it to hinder you. When you are studying for your tests, think about how important the information you're learning will be when you are able to use it to help your friend, or people like your friend, when they have medical emergencies. You will soon be the one to assist people in their times of extreme need and will make a difference in their lives. Your friend needs you to succeed!

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Specializes in critical care, PACU.

Ive gone through some intense things during nursing school and pre reqs too and I got through it by using my homework and studying as a distraction. Haha my grieving process is more of a productive one ;). Dont forget to take time for yourself to and still have fun. You deserve that.

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You will never get over the death of a close friend who took their own life. But time heals many things. Take time to heal and grieve. Talk to your instructors so they are aware of what has happened. You probably can't focus easily at a time like this.

May God keep you in the palm of his hand.

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Specializes in Psych, M/S, Ortho, Float..

It is very difficult to cope when a friend has attempted suicide. Hopefully, she is getting the help that she so desperately needs.

You do need to tell her that you care for her and that she is important to you. That said, there is obvously some real issues that she is not able to cope with. Understand that this was her decision and that you are not responsible for her choices.

You need to focus on school. If you can be there for her, great. If it is too much for you, then you can give yourself some space and understand that there is nothing to feel guilty about. Sometimes the only way to be helpful is to stay out of the way. The next couple of weeks will be very difficult for her while she comes to understand what happened. With professional help and her family she will get through this. After all your exams are done you both will find it will be a better time to reconnect.

Hugs,

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Specializes in Emergency, critical care.

"How do I get over this?" You don't....you deal.... more in a sec.

"I can't afford to fail these classes."....darn right....

One of the main problems most of us have is a reflexive response of trying to fix things....this particular problem is bigger than you, you don't have the education, skills, etc. Let the 'pros' help your friend....your role is to be a friend... if your intentions are to get her to a healthy place, you are letting

your plans, goals, and energies be hijacked at a crucial and stressful time for you.....exam time....

Look at your Toolbox of Coping Skills.....write out on a piece of paper a plan of coping for yourself, and tape it to your computer, mirror, alarm clock, whatever....

1) define your attitude/approach; my friend needs professional help and family support; I am her friend...

2) Things I can do as a friend: Cards, stuffed animals, A daily phone call, light-hearted and humorous conversation focused on her lovable traits...

3) Things I must do: study and prepare...schedule your work/study time for

the next 2 wks. so you are prepared for tests...

4) A daily or twice daily walk, 10-15 min. or more: time for your head to

clear and revise your coping skill list as needed....

What if you can't make your own list?

I really believe in brief, short-term counseling: 1 or 2 hours with a skilled therapist that is goal oriented, will help you make a game-plan... They are skilled in defining your goals for you and give the 'stamp-of-authority' to follow it through ( even though little voices are saying "i need to be with my friend, i need to fix her problems, how can i be a better friend to her'...)

I do believe you that this is a crisis for both of you, do your best to keep your balls in the air. I am old enough to have had many likewise crises in my past:

the Coping Skill Toolbox approach works for me, and once I did have brief counseling from a psych. professional that was very helpful for me to stay on my path, when those around me were having problems....

Hope my message is helpful...

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First I want to say that I'm sorry for what happened to your friend. If Nursing is your passion you need to focus on your school work, I can imagine how hard it is but the only way for you to get into Nursing School is if you pass your classes. Now if its too much for you to bare right now consider withdrawing from your classes and taking some time off until next semester to regroup. Good luck!!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Patient Safety.

I agree with Trixie that some short-term counseling could really help. A number of schools offer free counseling or they could refer you to someone who can help you through your situation - it sounds like you are in crisis mode and really need someone to talk to right now. Having such a thing happen can be so distressing. But you need to figure out how to get yourself rooted back into place and regain your focus.

Allow yourself to experience those emotions you have - set aside time to think about what has happened, talk with other friends about and hopefully get some help from a counselor.

And then try to re-establish yourself in your focus you need to get back on track. It might also be a good idea to tell someone in your school (your adviser, a teacher you trust, etc.) about what has happened. They may be able to accomodate you in some way; at least if you did poorly on exams then they will know why and not just dismiss it as "so-and-so didn't study."

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