How do I get over my shyness?

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Apr 5, 2017

I used to be that way, so much to the point that I would get physically sick before clinicals and feel paralyzed before entering a patient's room. It didn't help that my instructor liked to pick the hardest patients for us and I had zero healthcare experience. My first patient was demented and threw her bath basin-full of water-at me with perfect aim during her bath...I was ready to stop showing up for class after that, but I didn't do that and I'm glad.

I don't remember when I finally felt comfortable and broke out of my "shy" mold at work. I'm still very quiet and reserved in my personal life but am able to break out of it without a second thought now when I start my day. I come out as energetic, caring, yet able to make/take a quirky joke when the timing is right and I've had patients tell me that it's really helped them improve their mood to have someone who isn't "so serious".

What I'm trying to say is that what you're experiencing is normal and expected so don't get discouraged. You are learning a lot of new information and it's a lot to take itn. I think once we gain confidence in our own knowledge and abilities it comes through on the outside when we are ready. There's nothing wrong with listening. It's an essential skill needed for this field. As long as you know how to find the right answers for any questions you may have while you are learning there's nothing wrong with being quiet or wanting to observe something first before you do it yourself. This is one of the reasons that we have clinicals. Once you gain confidence, you probably won't appear to be so shy when working with your patients.

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Apr 5, 2017

And just another thought-this strengths and weaknesses thing should have been done during an individual student assessment review. Openly stating that your lack of eye contact makes you 'unprepared' or telling another student 'she is the smartest student in the class' in front of all the other students is just plain unprofessional and awkward for the one receiving the comments, good or bad.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Apr 5, 2017

Your instructor was inappropriate, get ready for many more of them.

I was also shy, I stepped back to observe and learn.

I lost my "shyness" when I had to start advocating for my patient. I became known as the nurse that doctors and administration listened to.

That takes time.. but know that eye- to- eye contact is necessary to get your point taken. Practice in the mirror.

Best wishes in your career.

SaltySarcasticSally, LPN, RN · Apr 5, 2017

I wasn't shy, I was actually lacking confidence when I went through my LPN school. I was 19 and like terrified of how I even got there lol. I am about to graduate from my RN bridge and this time it was different. Why? It's simple, experience. I have been in the field now 8 years, it was easy for me in clinical this go around because I had the simple nursing tasks down and was comfortable taking lead since i had done it as an LPN.

Don't beat yourself up, this will come in time, since yours IS actually shyness, why don't you start putting yourself out there a bit more in everyday life to get used to talking to strangers? Chatting with your cashier, going to dinner with friends that maybe you do not know as well, etc. This may help you get used to new environments and being comfortable.

Ben_Dover · Apr 5, 2017

In the field of Nursing... I've seen a lot. So I'd say give it a year or so and some ample amount of experience, next thing you know you'll be unleashing something you didn't know you had in you.... guaranteed... :shy:

Mustlovecats · Apr 6, 2017

I am also incredibly shy and am aware that having it pointed out only makes you feel worse. Not exactly professional or constructive criticism from your instructor.

Rest assured it does get easier with time. Throughout nursing school and your career you are going to be pushed further and further out of your comfort zone; as a result, that comfort zone grows. You are going to have to do things and talk to people about things you never thought you could; you are going to have to advocate for your patient. The more you care for and talk to patients the more comfortable you are going to become; it will start to feel natural, I swear.

In the mean time, to be honest, fake it until you make it. Keep a smile on your face, ask lots of questions; people love to talk about themselves, it's human nature. It sounds cliche but it works. Looking back it my first clinical, I was so timid it took all I had to look the patient in the eye and introduce myself; now I enjoy being with my patients, getting to know them. It just takes time and a variety of experiences.

chiromed0 · Apr 7, 2017

Coming from a doctor and APRN your instructor is an idiot. Who the heck does that? Points out other people's faults in class...what a moron. Look, you are who you are and everyone is a buffoon and a genius depending on the situation. Nobody is the "right" profile. I was told I was "shy" and "reserved" and "laid back" or "too quiet" all my life. What a crock. I was none of those things. I simply don't like talking to people I don't want to talk to--i.e. small talk UNLESS it's in a professional scenario. And I think I have done perfectly fine just being ME. You can point out to your instructor the main reason you don't converse much with them is because they are BORING. Yes, try to be more social as a professional skill, NO-do not change your personality b/c someone teaching a nursing class said so. Unreal. If you REALLY WANT PRACTICE go to Toastmasters and if that don't cure you, nothing will but again I don't think there is anything wrong with you in the first place. Not everybody needs to be wearing a lampshade over their head in a crowd---just the attention seekers and THEY have a problem. So professionally, just feel comfortable with feeling uncomfortable...for a CNA, GN, etc. I'd say go one larger is my rule.

Go find a doctor or mid-level and ask to observe, etc., and get experience BEYOND what your peers are getting. By the time you graduate you will be comfortable working around professionals while they are stumbling around, feeling awestruck, and totally unproductive. As a side note though if you ARE getting in the habit of being unprepared then that's got to stop...get ready...be early...be confident.

llg, PhD, RN · Apr 7, 2017

I always felt extremely awkward in clinical as a student. After 40 years in nursing, I still feel the same awkwardness when I am in or around a situation that is not totally "mine." I feel awkward jumping into a strange situation when I haven't been properly oriented to it -- it takes me a few minutes to assess the situation and figure out the best thing to do. That's just part of who I am and I eventually accepted it.

Once I got to working as a staff nurse and became familiar with their patients, equipment, procedures, routines, etc. it was much, much less of a problem. I became comfortable in that environment and my colleagues knew that I was a good nurse. (But if I was asked to float to another unit, I was really awkward.)

I have had to simply get used to the fact that some people will think less of me as a nurse because I am not good at "jumping right in" to a strange situation I have not prepared for. I have needed to work a little harder to orient myself to new places and things -- and to be sure that the people who work with me regularly see and know that I really do "know my stuff" and can perform well. I might not be the first to jump in ... but I will do a good job as I enter the situation a little more gradually.

As a student (and later as a new nurse) make sure you demonstrate that you DID do your homework and know the material you are supposed to know. Ask questions to help you get yourself oriented to the situated rather than just standing there watching. That's what I have found to be the most helpful: it shows you are engaging the situation rather than shrinking back -- even if you are not exactly "jumping in."

Neo Soldier, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2018

I am currently a CNA/GNA student and I'll be starting nursing school in the fall.
My instructor decided to point out people's weaknesses and strengths in the class. She pointed out that I don't make much eye contact because I'm "unprepared" but it's really because I'm shy. Then she was talking to someone right next to me telling her she's the smartest in the class, knowing I could hear. I'm not saying I want to be the best in the class, but it still made me feel a little dumb.
Then in clinical I kinda just stand there and listen to what they are showing us to take in all the information. My clinical partner tends to jump in and try to be very hands on, but I guess I'm too timid because I don't know if I should join in and help or watch what she is trying to teach us. But again today after clinical she pointed out how shy I am and how my partner was super ready and comfortable, so it made me feel worse.
I know I'm very shy, but I also know how to connect with people and I open up soon after talking to someone, it just takes me longer than others. I want to know has anyone been in a situation similar to this and what can I do to improve? Thanks :)

Your instructor was inappropriate. An instructor should discuss that in private with the student, and not maliciously but to facilitate growth of the student. How rude. Here's a tip; during clinical, build rapport with patients. Ask them simple questions like for a college age student, are you in college, what's your major. Try to make small talk and build trust. It'll make you look better. Practice your skills too so that when your partner is doing something you can offer to help. If you get along with your partner (or at least cordial with him/her) you can ask for tips. You can even plan out your day and actually work as a team rather than one person outshining the other.

Good luck with everything.

cleback · Feb 1, 2018

Your instructor was a jerk. I remember one of mine said nursing takes all types because nursing takes care of all types of people.

That said, while it's not inherently bad to be quiet or learn by observation, it sounds like your instructor wants to evaluate based on interaction and demonstration, which you may not be meeting. You need to work with your instructor to figure out how you can meet course expectations, her way unfortunately... being proactive and assertive with her may improve her perceptions of your competence.