I'm six months into my first job, and I'm still iffy with my coworkers, two women who work with me every night.
They get along great with each other, but they've never really warmed to me. I took offense to their indifference, thinking it was rude that they would chat with each other at the station all night and only occasionally ask me a question, or would order take-out food without asking me if I wanted to place an order; things like that that I grew up learning were rude.
Now, they'll sometimes say things like, "You should know that," or "That's just common sense." I get mad, and I want to say something back instead of being railroaded; I mean, why do they get to say such things and I'm just supposed to be quiet? Why are they allowed to be crabby if they want and I'm not? But then, instead of being assertive, my words just come out offending them. But if I don't say anything, then resentment just builds up in me.
It's like our communication is divided into either ignoring me, or we're ruffling each other's feathers.
Today, they got called into a meeting with the head nurse (which means they got yelled at for something), and a critical value got called in on one of their patients while I was at the nursing station. I thought the responsible thing to do was to call it in to the doctor myself, so I did, and took orders. When the nurse came out of the meeting, I immediately told her, but both of them lit into me, saying that I should have interrupted the meeting and told the nurse so that she could handle it. I was offended; because even if I should have done that, wasn't it obvious to a blind snail that I was just trying to help? I replied sarcastically (couldn't help it), "You're welcome," whereupon they just got madder, saying, "When you get into trouble for something like this, don't expect us to help you."
I know that a lot of nursing is getting on with coworkers; I don't want to lose my job, whether or not they're right or wrong. My charge nurse, who at least is sympathetic, told me I need to work more on my relationship with them, and I agreed. But how do I walk the line between getting ignored/screwed, and offending my coworkers, who, one way or another, I have to work with?
One of my friends advises "Killing them with kindness," which I guess is a good idea.
I am just getting out of HR and getting into nursing and have dealt with women like this before. Kill them with kindness while looking for another job.
What you are describing is certainly a hostile work environment, and there is a term for it called "mobbing" - it is when two or more co-workers gang up on one (strength in numbers) and abuse. And what you are describing is abuse. I disagree with those comments here how you should try and find commonalities in conversation, try to do it better then them (you're probably working your a** off already in that approach!), and they are just happy to let you do that. They are just being mean and immature, plain and simple. But this is a dangerous situation for you, as if anything goes wrong when you are there, you could get thrown under the bus. I agree that this should be reported, but you probably will find that the manager will call both of them in and they will have a litany of complaints against you, and then it'll be your word against theirs. Sometimes, the best thing to do, is to leave. The peace of mind in finding a supportive work environment is truly worth it.
What you are describing is certainly a hostile work environment, and there is a term for it called "mobbing" - it is when two or more co-workers gang up on one (strength in numbers) and abuse. And what you are describing is abuse. I disagree with those comments here how you should try and find commonalities in conversation, try to do it better then them (you're probably working your a** off already in that approach!), and they are just happy to let you do that. They are just being mean and immature, plain and simple. But this is a dangerous situation for you, as if anything goes wrong when you are there, you could get thrown under the bus. I agree that this should be reported, but you probably will find that the manager will call both of them in and they will have a litany of complaints against you, and then it'll be your word against theirs. Sometimes, the best thing to do, is to leave. The peace of mind in finding a supportive work environment is truly worth it.
I think this is excellent advice. Given the liability nurses face (and lawsuits directly against nurses were on the rise last I checked) a supportive team environment is in everyones best interest. Needless to add, it's also better for patient experience and safety, and quite possibly their outcomes.
But even with much recognition to the problem change is very slow.
If transferring is not an option than I say lay low and actively actively use every second you have to find something else. Possibly give HR the full scoop on your way out and anyone else that should know.
"Here is my letter of resignation. On the record, I just want to say thank you for the opportunity to work here and that Ive learned so much. I have made life long friends. Off the record, I just want to say that the reason Im resigning is because I feel you won't be able to provide me with the schedule that I desire."
If your manager cares she will ask (what schedule is that)...
"The schedule I want is whatever schedule that will allow me to never work side by side with the two notorious bullies of this unit. I have dealt with bullying before but I have never had it take my peace of mind. Its hostile at the nursing station. I planned to stay here. Its unfortunate that the two who are responsible for me deciding to resign have not planned to stay here long at all. It is imperative that I leave in order to maintain a level of professionalism that I know this hospital desires to portray, my nursing school would be proud for me to represent, and this RN license requires that I uphold."
In the meantime....everytime the mean girls get on your nerves...jus say "oh okay" and whip/flip your hair as if your trying to flirt & get a guy to come over.....(it symbolic body language that suggest On your worst looking day, you are more beautiful on their best looking day and you are merely just shaking the annoying comment off of your body, beauty and out of your mind. You helfers could never phase me, sort of body language.. LOL!
Act confidently. As you are getting more clinical experience, you will start feeling more confident and not as easily affected by "older nurses". My personality is such that I don't kiss up to people. I stand up for myself, and in some situations it created more conflict, and in other situations people started treating me with more respect.
Listen to what people tell you. Try to just observe behavior and interactions. Be on time and prepared. Don't get to friendly with people until you get to know them. Sometimes the most friendly ones are the most dangerous. Eyes and ears open. Be friendly but DON'T disclose any of your personal life to anyone unless you want it go get around the entire unit.
"Here is my letter of resignation. On the record, I just want to say thank you for the opportunity to work here and that Ive learned so much. I have made life long friends. Off the record, I just want to say that the reason Im resigning is because I feel you won't be able to provide me with the schedule that I desire."
If your manager cares she will ask (what schedule is that)...
"The schedule I want is whatever schedule that will allow me to never work side by side with the two notorious bullies of this unit. I have dealt with bullying before but I have never had it take my peace of mind. Its hostile at the nursing station. I planned to stay here. Its unfortunate that the two who are responsible for me deciding to resign have not planned to stay here long at all. It is imperative that I leave in order to maintain a level of professionalism that I know this hospital desires to portray, my nursing school would be proud for me to represent, and this RN license requires that I uphold."
In the meantime....everytime the mean girls get on your nerves...jus say "oh okay" and whip/flip your hair as if your trying to flirt & get a guy to come over.....(it symbolic body language that suggest On your worst looking day, you are more beautiful on their best looking day and you are merely just shaking the annoying comment off of your body, beauty and out of your mind. You helfers could never phase me, sort of body language.. LOL!
calitotx
34 Posts
I am just getting out of HR and getting into nursing and have dealt with women like this before. Kill them with kindness while looking for another job.