How do I dump my study partner/friend ?

[NurseLoveJoy88]

To make a long story short: In my first semester I became friends and study buddies with a classmate. We studied toghether the majority of the time. She's always available to study with me, and I can depend on her to show up. Now for the bad part.... she's whines and complains ALL THE TIME, have a negative attitude about nursing school, and expects me to RE-TEACH the whole lesson, and expects me to make copies of my notes !

SO she registered for a different class than I did( whoo hoo) for next semester. However, yesterday she calls to tell me she wants to switch to the class I'm taking so that we can study toghether. I love to help others who need help.:redpinkhe It also helps me to break down information for others who don't understand the information.But she expects me to teach her the material a day before exams. I think study groups are good to answer questions toghether and to break down tough subjects, but I hate being the one who is doing all the work ! How do I politely tell her " I don't want to study with you anymore" She's completley attached to me !

Sorry its long... thanks for reading

[CBsMommy]

Daytonite has a great point, as always!

What I do for people like that is to tell them that you will study the first half of the assignment and then she can study the second half of the assignment and that would make it easier on both of you. This usually stops the "you do all the work" people dead in their tracks and they find someone else they can use thus leaving you free to do your own thing. I've also done this, which some of your instructors may use as well, instead of a direct answer (i.e 1+1 = 2), you can ask questions to help people derive their own answers (if you had 1 orange and added another orange, how many do you have)? Make them work on the answer themselves. I will only do this when my first example doesn't work or if I really find that people would rather me answer for them instead of them trying themselves. It's okay to help others...until those people won't help themselves. Good luck and keep us posted!

[iamRN09]

Hi I consider myself to be kinda shy too, but I would be as honest with her as possible. I think you should just tell her that she has to put in more work because you have a very busy schedule. Also another thing you could do, which isn't the most decent thing to do, is to avoid her. I used to do that, I would say, I don't know if we'll have time to meet because I want to make sure I go over everything myself first. Then I wouldn't go to the study group till i felt ready. Eventually I told him, you have to do your share and be prepared before we meet. We are still friends and we still study together, just not everytime. The thing to remember is that your grades shouldn't suffer because you feel guilty. Also it's not about just your grades but it shouldn't stress you out at a time when we are stressed enough, NS. Maybe you could help her/teach her how to organize herself so she doesn't rely on you so much. She's either clueless or taking advantage of you. So determine which and act accordingly.

[celclt]

plus, you can't spend all of your time teaching, you need to be challenged too- you are doing her a favor cutting the cord- ITA with having her come into a bgger group w/ you and have to hold her own

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

If you can't handle a friend in NS, i.e. "you are a timid person"...

Denna- I'm timid in this situation... thats what I meant. When it comes to dealing with patients and doctors who are irate, I'm a powerhouse ! But I'm not friends with my patients or doctors, this is totally different!

[Sarah Bellum]

It also helps me to break down information for others who don't understand the information.But she expects me to teach her the material a day before exams.

Would it be a good compromise to schedule a study group with her when *you* are ready to review the material and not the day before the exam? Just a thought, if it really does help you when you explain it to someone else then you could use your time with her to cement what you've learned.

but if you really just wnt to be done with the relationship I'd use the excellent advice from the folks above. :)

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

Thanks everyone for your help !! After reading all of the posts, I finally have an idea of how do deal with her. I'm going to tell her that we both need to put an equal amount of effort in when we study. I'm going to be firm and consistent with her ! Even when we had two seperate classes, she still wanted to study toghether, I told her NO WAY. I may have to use that same aggression again. I can't wait to start the new semester... I have so many ideas and things planned for my study group... she's welcome to join me, but no more studying with her alone. I'm gonna put my foot down !

[Alternator81]

Honestly, I would tell her straight up, "You need to stop whining! It's bringing me down." but that is just my personality. I don't think that premeditating ways of dumping her is the way of going about it.

I expect my friends to tell me what they think- and they always do. I was really upset about my clinical eval this semester- something that the instructor said. My study partner and best friend told me basically to "get over it". I was oblivious to how annoying it was.

[KEYMONNEE]

OKAY, THIS IS WHAT I DO, I AM A NSG STUDENT GOING INTO MY LAST SEMESTER AND I LIKE HELPING OTHERS AS WELL, BUT IF YOU FIND YOURSELF BEING "DRAINED," AS I CALL IT, CUT IT OFF, BECAUSE AS A NSG STUDENT, YOU ALREADY KNOW, YOU NEED ALL OF YOUR ENERGIES PLUS SOME. YOUR STUDY PARTNER IS A GROWN WOMAN, NOT A CHILD AND MAY I ADD, "DOESN'T SHE SIT IN THE SAME CLASS AS YOU DURING LECTURE???" SO GUESS WHAT, IF IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR YOU, "LET IT GO." WHO HAS TIME FOR SOMEONE TO RIDE THEIR COAT TAIL??? YOU DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS, :argue: :devil:WHEN YOU CAN FEEL LIKE THIS :wink2: , SO STUDY ON SISTER, AND @ LEAST NOT WITH HER :typing :typing :typing !!!