How do I deal with a rude coworker?

fuzzywuzzy, CNA · Sep 20, 2011

Wow, can you say passive-aggressive?

How do the other CNAs deal with her? Is there anyone she does get along with, that you can learn from? Sometimes certain people have to get used to each other, but they eventually get along. I've worked with people that I couldn't stand because they seemed so abrasive, but within a year I found myself telling the new CNAs, "Oh she doesn't mean it; she doesn't realize how she is." I've also worked with people that same kind of passive aggressive BS, like only collecting their own trays... but I don't think I've worked with a combination of the two! Yikes!

I noticed you said, "I assert myself and ignore it." Well, that's not asserting yourself. My guess is that she treats you that way because she knows she can get away with it. Every time I've had a problem with the way someone was treating me, I've had to deal with it directly. One time this nurse on another unit had it out for me and was always poking around in my business finding things to yell at me for. She also gave me dirty looks all the time, talked about me behind my back, and made rude comments to my face. She had me quaking in my boots for several months until I started looking her in the eyes and acting more confident. I was a ***** right back... not in any way that could get me in trouble (like I was never outright disrespectful), but made it clear that I wasn't going to be her victim anymore. She stopped bullying me. That was probably the least assertive, yet successful, response to a conflict I've had at work. I've also flat-out said to people "Do you have a problem with me? Because you've been doing this, this, and that" or "It really ****** me off when you do XYZ because it's so inconsiderate. Please stop." That works. Smiling and ignoring that kind of BS does not, in my experience. This woman knows she's being rude to you. And she knows that you notice it. Let's not pretend that you don't!

CNA_NY · Sep 20, 2011

I've spoken to other CNAs that get partnered with her who have been there for years and they say they simply ignore it as well. Maybe that's why she continues to be a bully. Well , I'm assertive when she asks me something or orders me to do things for her patients. I ignore her when she makes her snotty comments , which I know I shouldn't, but I'm not really sure how to say it or what would happen after wards. I don't want it to turn into a fight.

I overheard her one time saying how someone made a comment about her not answering lights and that they sort of yelled at her which I doubt they did, but she threatened to hit that person if they yelled at her again and that she didn't care about her job. Thats sort of who she is. I always hate confrontation like this especially in the work setting lol...Thanks for your response fuzzy wuzzy and you're advice. I will try asserting myself more at work with this CNA. ! Wish me luck

jeaniekadinee · Sep 24, 2011

Wow, this certain co worker of yours has a major attitude problem and needs to fix it. I had a co worker that treated me bad before. I don't know what her deal was but I just thought maybe she is jealous of something. I don't know what lol but you know what I mean. Maybe she should invest her time in "anger management." Some people will never be happy. I would suggest just do your thing and excel at what you do. Try your best not to let her get to you too bad. Good luck :)

comidasfritas · Oct 17, 2011

I been Nursing Assisting since 1996 I decide to relocated one state to other the law is different too much favoritism again people race. Iam consider mysefl a very hard worker and a very dedicated person I adora all my resident's sometime we became across to a resident who don't like spanish worker sometime the lie about how other treat them . My experiences never thought my career was going to be ending so fast with this facility I was working I made the employee of the month. So couple month the fired this DON they was fired people for not reazon the company hired new personal new DON and Assisting DON who never like me she has been hired a caucacion person with 6 month experiences the recieved one complain about one resident the day I was shedule to work she call me in the office try to accused me hurting a resident during the tranfer that resident never have any bruise or anything she try to investigated me . that resident never like me because i was spanish the suspend me for 3 day to investigated me , so the ask all coworker I was conducting mysefl with the resident's the toll me the write a good letter said I was a good worker I never been late or miss any day of work since I been there a year. After the investigated me the toll me the never find any evidences but the was going to fired me because the hear other complain when I ask then to tell me who other more are the toll me the cant' said anything more about other resident's. I feel I been descriminated by then other staff get worse trouble the get a chance but that chance was never give to me I cry so much Iam scared to find in other job I know iam good in that job I love the resident's but sometime we come across a resident's who get staff in trouble how can I protect mysefl from this kind a people, I love my job I want to continue take care them I don't want get involved something like ever again I know in my heart never hurt that resident I always try to very carefully with then. Please tell me if need to get in attorney I afraid this people destroyed my career.

Aspiretobe · Oct 21, 2011

Sorry about your bad experience, Comidasfritas. Don't let it get you down. In the future, if you have a patient that does not like a spanish worker, then see if you can trade this patient with another CNA or have someone else in the room with you as a witness. It is scary that a job and license can be lost because of one person's lies. Keep your head up and find a job that will appreciate your skills.

caliotter3 · Oct 21, 2011

It seems there is a worker like this at every facility. She would change her overt behavior if the nurses would address the issues. This may sound like passing the buck, but start going to the charge nurse and don't take, "Work it out among yourselves" as the answer to the problem. Get your coworkers to do the same. Write down a log of the behavior. If nothing is done, then present a copy of the log to the house supervisor or the DON. The squeeky wheel gets the grease. If you don't speak up, nothing will ever get done.

fuzzywuzzy, CNA · Oct 23, 2011

In my facility if I did that, they would make sure to include "doesn't play well with others" in my review and I would not get my raise.

Thujone · Oct 24, 2011

I don't know if you have tried this or not, but I would pull her a side to a quite room (where it's just the two of you) and explain to her the things that are bothering you, and how it has been affecting your mentality and job performance. If she continues to bother you, I would then go to next highest person in charge. If they don't help then go above their heads.