I am a CNA in FL and would like you nurses opinion on this matter, if you will.
I have been with this Home Health Agency since December, and have had this particular patient for 5 months now. She has Dementia, but mostly independent requiring supervision on a variety of tasks and activities.
We get along REALLY well. She likes me a lot and always tells me "thanks for making my day so bright" everytime I leave her house. I also like her a lot. We have fun together...
Anyway, she lives with her son who is bound to a wheelchair because of a car accident yrs ago. He does mostly everything for himself. At first he didn't bother us at all. But lately he's got into a crazy mood (I think he's jealous of us having too much fun :angryfire), and he's doing everything he can to either slow down my tasks or prevent me from doing it. The other day he said I could not wash her clothes, and she had wet her bed really bed. I stuck R (Refused) on my Daily chart for that day (laundry). Then another day he told me to go easy on the paper towels (he doesn't just say it.. he YELLS at me). Then I started using one of my patient's hand towel as a bib, instead of "wasting" his paper towels. He comes around her and SNATCHES the towel out of her chest... to which my patient turned to me in a desperate face... I told him to leave the towel where it was. He turns to me and yells "WHY?". I told him he had told me to not use the paper towels, he said "for this you can use". I said "I prefer using the towel because it shields it better all the way down to her legs"... because she makes a big mess especially on cereal days! Anyway, another day he came around the table, where my patient was sitting and eating lunch and I was sitting on the chair right next to her, he whams her against the table, trying to push her chair closer to the table (it wasn't that far away)... she screamed in terror! The only thing that came out of my mouth was "OH GOSH!". I could NOT believe what he had done. The way he treats his mom. The way he gets in between us.
Well, I told his sister -- my patient's younger daughter who lives 6 houses away on the same street -- all about this, that her brother is being an old fart, he tells me not to feed her this or that (things that she usually eats but now somehow he forbids her!), and the sister told me "please don't call your agency and tell these things, because if you do, I will have to drop your agency". I had told her I was unhappy with the conditions I was having now, all of a sudden her brother puts on a mood and creates a big problem for us. The one who pays for it is my patient and I'm very concerned. I'm there to do my job, whatever is on my aide Assignment sheet by my RN supervisor, I'm following it to the letter. I'm never late, I never miss work, I take my work very seriously, I enjoy what I do and excuse me -- but I do a DAMN good job! I'm proud of it! But at the same time I don't know how to deal with this old fart that is unhappy about life and is jealous that his mom and I are enjoying the time we have together... we walk, we watch TV, we play games together, we read, we laugh and tell jokes... I don't know why a family member could have a reason for a complaint about this! Anyway, I need the hours too as I am going to start nursing school now in May, and to be honest... I'm not ready to quit my job just yet, because like I said, I'm enjoying it very much. But I don't know how long I can stand this situation with the family members. I don't want to get in their business... the sister keeps telling me that her brother because of the accident, blahblahblah, that I have to have patience with him... I told her "I don't have to have anything for him... he's not my patient... I just want him to leave me alone so I can do my job properly"! Am I asking too much????
Tomorrow I have to go there again in the morning, and after that I'm going to my agency to drop paperwork for the week... but I am very tempted to tell the supervisor there about these things. But at the same time I'm afraid I won't have this patient anymore. I like her and I think she deserves the care I'm giving her. And I count on these weekly hours... I don't know if I can get another patient like her again.
What do you nurses think of my dilemma???? Should I put up with this problem or what?
Thanks a lot for reading... sorry it was too long!
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
One Monday she had "a dark ugly mark around her mouth". No, that is not normal, even if she was prone to falling. That's some scary stuff right there. Poor lady.
Wow that feels good that you guys were thinking about me... :icon_roll
Well, I just got off the phone with Florida Elder Abuse Hotline... I hope this is who I had to reach!
Anyway, the lady who took my message spoke so fast, I had to ask her to repeat the questions twice or more.
She asked for the name of my agency and address and phone number, my name and address and phone number, patient's name and address and phone number, and the whole situation going on. I told her i refused to go to that patient for safety reasons beginning this morning. I told her I had filed written reports with the agency, but apparently nobody took an interest to go see her or investigate. I told them that my RN supervisor told me that it was common for Alzheimer's patients to hurt themselves, but I thought that was weird. I told her about my pt's behavior of locking herself off, of wandering off (back in Dec. when I wasn't working there yet), of the police calling DCF on my pt's daughter, of my pt's son shoving my pt. against the table during her breakfast, of him snatching her towel away from her when she was using it as a bib, of all the screaming and belittling going on in front of me, especially at the time of administering medication (by her daughter). Well, I think I told her mostly everything. I hope I didn't leave anything out (like I said she talked too fast for me).
I wonder what's going to happen now. Will they be contacting me? Will my agency be contacting me regarding that?
I thought that my office supervisor would be calling me this morning like she said she would, but when I got home this afternoon after my other pt, there was no phone call from anyone. I don't know if she's waiting for me to go there on Friday and she will chew me out or something like that (for what, really??). Or fire me?
Well I feel better for telling the abuse hotline about that. I thought about my patient all day today. Wondering if her daughter took the rage on her, for me quitting the case.
Anyway, thanks guys, from the bottom of my heart... you have been a great support to me!:heartbeat
Well the worst is over now. You should feel good that you got that off your chest with the right people. Now, take the time that you would have spent at that house, and spend it looking for a new case with another agency. Good luck.
actually I already had an interview... but it's for a interpretation company where I will be working from home. I will be working part time for this company and if the agency doesn't fire me, I will still keep my other patient, which will be part time as well. If I get fired (or I decide to quit... I'm gettin fed up with my agency's attitude anyway), then I will try finding another agency or go full time with this new company.
I was going to drop my schedule part time anyway, because I'm starting nursing school now, so I don't want to kill myself working while going to school.
I have another question: my other patient's family said if I ever quit my agency, they will pay me privately to watch her father and mother... I kinda know what you guys are going to say... but say it anyway?!
I told him to leave the towel where it was. He turns to me and yells "WHY?". I told him he had told me to not use the paper towels, he said "for this you can use". I said "I prefer using the towel because it shields it better all the way down to her legs"... because she makes a big mess especially on cereal days!
Anyway, another day he came around the table, where my patient was sitting and eating lunch and I was sitting on the chair right next to her, he whams her against the table, trying to push her chair closer to the table (it wasn't that far away)... she screamed in terror! The only thing that came out of my mouth was "OH GOSH!". I could NOT believe what he had done. The way he treats his mom. The way he gets in between us.
I'm proud of it! But at the same time I don't know how to deal with this old fart that is unhappy about life and is jealous that his mom and I are enjoying the time we have together... we walk, we watch TV, we play games together, we read, we laugh and tell jokes... I don't know why a family member could have a reason for a complaint about this! Anyway, I need the hours too as I am going to start nursing school now in May, and to be honest... I'm not ready to quit my job just yet, because like I said, I'm enjoying it very much. But I don't know how long I can stand this situation with the family members. I don't want to get in their business... the sister keeps telling me that her brother because of the accident, blahblahblah, that I have to have patience with him... I told her "I don't have to have anything for him... he's not my patient... I just want him to leave me alone so I can do my job properly"! Am I asking too much????
nursel56
7,122 Posts
One Monday she had "a dark ugly mark around her mouth". No, that is not normal, even if she was prone to falling. That's some scary stuff right there. Poor lady.
You have our support, ((((((Morango))))))