How to handle being humiliated and blamed as a new nurse

%D#2 · Jan 28, 2016

I feel the same way.. My job is different I work in LTC and subacute so my patients aren't nearly as complicated but I have a heavy workload and am the only evening nurse. The day shift has two nurses and two medication aides to help with PO meds. I'm all by myself doing everything including cna work cause we're short on CNAs. When the day nurses come in they pretty much indirectly blame me for nearly everything. I have 50 patients and sometimes I forget to document non-urgent things and I know part of it is that they want me to get used to covering my ass. The other part is that they just have more experience and like to sh** on the novice nurse (me).

In time we will gain more experience and this stuff will all be part of the past. You have to just "shut the noise out"

Take what you can as learning experience and ignore the gossip or rudeness.

Not everything is gonna be perfect or go smoothly and it's not your fault. Some people don't have good ways of dealing with anger, and they take it out on those they feel can be a target (new nurses)

Don't beat yourself up. You've got the right mindset and you're only gonna keep getting better and better!

**NICU Guy, BSN, RN** · Jan 28, 2016

I am where you are at: 1 yr experience in the NICU. Unfortunately, I have not had any of the issues that you have had. I work in a Level IV NICU and there is no ego when it comes to IV starts. If any of us (experienced or inexperienced) hasn't got the IV started by the second try, call one of the expert IV starters on the unit. Most nurses have a difficult time starting an IV on most of the preemies. They sure wouldn't get an attitude about you missing on the first try. When a baby that is a hard stick and loses their IV, I (same with most of my coworkers) don't even try to start an IV. I call an expert and let them try. I don't want to blow the only good vein that they have (especially on night shift without a PICC nurse). I think you need to tell that nurse to "go away and mind your own business, if I can't get the IV on the second try, I will ask someone else to try".

As for the doctors, it might take time and experience for them to start giving you respect. I don't have any advice for you because I don't have any issues with our docs (being male, may be an advantage). None of them has been rude or nasty to me. Most of the time when I call them (24 hr in-house coverage) they come right over or go along with my suggestion (recommendation). So, even as a new-ish nurse, I feel respected.

Don't take this the wrong way, but put on your big girl panties and stand up for yourself. You have been there a year and should know what you are doing, so don't let them (other nurses and doctors) step all over you. Sometimes they need you to stand up for yourself for them to back off.

NICU & OR · Jan 29, 2016

As a NICU nurse for 27 years I can tell you that NICU nurses are very protective of their patients. I am not saying this is a good or bad thing, it just is. I went into the NICU right out of nursing school and was in a 3 month orientation. Even after that, it did not go well. I used to tell my orientees that it would be 2 years before they would feel confident...and that if they ever stopped being just a little nervous when caring for these little ones, they needed to get out of the NICU. With that said, the seasoned nurses and doctors know you are not quite "there" yet. So just keep working hard and learn all you can. IV starts will come with practice. Maybe when the unit is quiet you could ask one of the other nurses if you can watch her start an IV. Each nurse will have little tips to share with you. Lastly, when a doctor or nurse comes over and criticizes the way you have handled a situation...take a few deep breaths, continue your work and at the end of your shift go to that person and ask "what should I have done to handle that situation correctly/differently?". Most nurses will appreciate the fact that you are still attempting to learn and understand. The NICU is a special place unlike any other unit. Hang in there!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 29, 2016

I just wanted any advice or tips from really anyone out there that has been through what I'm going through currently. I am a nurse with about a year experience in the NICU. I'm still learning every day practicing my skills and finding my way around how I do things and what works best for me. I know when I need to ask for help and I know when I'm capable of doing things myself. However recently I e been in some situations that have left me humiliated crying and over all just hating where I am and what I am doing. Other nurses have spoken about me as if I'm to blame when something goes wrong. When I don't get an IV or blood work in the first try I get nasty looks and comments like "oh let me just do it" if it's a non emergent situation I feel like they shouldn't even be involved. Doctors not all but some have been or right rude and disrespectful and lecturing me as if I don't know how to do my job but then turning around to the next nurse and being a normal human being. Recently something went wrong with a kids vent and as in there tying to see a doctor walks in and starts screaming at me as if I'm not doing my job lecturing me meanwhile he walked in two seconds after it happened. I am not perfect and I know I have a ton to learn, am I being too over sensitive? Are there any words of encouragement or advice whenever I'm faced with this again? I'm drowning here and I'm embarrassed to show my face at work everyday.

It takes about two years to become competent as a nurse. NICU is a specialty area, and it takes a bit longer. At one year, you may be on your own without a preceptor, but you certainly are not yet competent or independent. A year is enough time to scratch the surface. It's enough time to THINK you know more than you actually do. Perhaps you ARE to blame when something goes wrong. You may not like the way those other nurses are delivering the message, but stop to consider the message itself. You may be missing some learning opportunities here.

As far as physicians -- they're people, too. They feel more comfortable with people they know as opposed to you, the newbie. A year may not be long enough for them to get to know you and trust you. If a physician is lecturing to you, there may be some nuggets of information in there somewhere that you need to learn. Again, take advantage of the learning opportunity. Try to separate the message from the delivery.

Iknowwha2du · Feb 6, 2016

One by one if you have to and in private start standing up for yourself. You don't have to take abuse. I pulled a PA over once and addressed him trying to embarrass me in front of a patient. When my charge started fussing at me..i put my finger up towards her and fussed right back. I wasn't disrespectful but I fought for myself as she tried to accuse me of doing something carelessly. I told an RN to stop picking on me. People are ganging up on you because they don't feel you will stop them from doing it. The problem is that they are used to doing this to people who take too much time to teach. Most people don't want to bother with training in the first place. You will eventually have to stand up for yourself. I don't give people excuses anymore for bad behavior. Some things you can let roll off your back but others will require you to put your foot down. You will quit, switch shifts, be depressed or otherwise if you don't get what I am saying.

Lad345 · Feb 14, 2016

In no circumstance should anyone be screaming at you, I don't care if he or she had six extra letters after MD, nor should other nurses be pushing you aside from your own patients.

My first job out of school, I worked in LTC with some mean-spirited dinosaur nurses, and I use that term not with disrespect to older and more experienced nurses because good veteran nurses helped make me who i am as a nurse.

No, dinosaurs aren't only older with years under their belt--they are a specific subset of disillusioned and resentful people that seem to be what it looks like if nursing burns you out, but you stay 40 more years anyhow for the money.

Hopefully, this isn't what you're up against. But what worked for me, and may work for you is to put your foot down. I don't care who they are, you don't demean and debase others to get your point across.

Look them dead in the eye and tell them that you're committed to this, you might be new but this is where you are determined to be, and you're willing to take advice, seek more practive, and dedicate yourself to improvement. However, you're an adult and a professional and you will not stand to be abused. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but tell them you'll be damned if your license gets taken from you in the event something bad happens to your patient, because these bulldogs have taken it upon themselves to steamroll over you and hijack your care. Say that the petty minutia and personality clash ends, here and now. You are coworkers. Your patients don't deserve bad care to trickle down because of a hostile work environment full of bullying and scolding.

If they're just being protective vets and think you're too green, taking a stand should earn your credit in their eyes. If they care about what they do, your conviction and your backbone should make them take yout desire to learn more seriously.

If they want to continue their BS, collect specific times and dates these incidents occur. Then go to your superior. If still nothing improves, I'd get out of there. There's no reason to stay and let them kill your soul and drive for nursing.