How do you go about handling a rude Dr.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 5, 2007

hi, i am still in my first year of nursing. i have 3 more months til my year is up, and one of my biggest complaints is having to put up with rude dr. i mean, nursing is stressful by itself especially on the floor that i work, vascular/renal stepdown unit. i just recently started the nightshift as well. one day last week a doctor(resident) got smart with me when i was only doing my job and it really ticked me off. are we nurses suppose to just sit there like a sitting duck and take this kind of treatment. i was really upset, all i could do is walk off not responding to his comment and find other things that i could be doing. of course the same dr. needed my assitance some minutes later. this happens a lot and is one of the reasons why i don't think i will be renewing my employment after my year is up. this was not in my job description nor did anyone tell me that it would be like this once i started. where would the physician be if there were not nurses, where would the patients be, ( i hate to think) yet we are suppose to sit there and take this type of treatment. how do you handle a rude dr. what is the best way to handle this situation? i have 3 more months of this and then, i am gone. and i have to ask myself, they wonder why there is a nursing shortage. i didnt come into this profession to be abused. how do you handle a rude dr, i would really like to hear some suggestions or advice on this topic.

oh boy! sounds like you have some growing up to do!

there are going to be rude people no matter where you work and no matter what job you do. if you're a physician, you're always going to encounter the nurse that rolls her eyes at you, the surgery scheduler who snaps at you or the colleauge who treats you as if you know nothing at all. (and one physician i know had a partner who used to get drunk and punch him out!) if you're an accountant, you're going to have rude clients who can't understand why they have to pay any taxes, a mean boss who expects you to work overtime during tax season without complaints and a manager who talks down to you. if you're a teacher, there will be rude principals who cannot understand why you can't make do with textbooks from 30 years ago and parents who want you to force feed their children manners and education. there's just no escaping rude people. so what you need to do is figure out how you're going to deal with rude people.

what works for me may not work for you. i just don't tolerate rude behavior from co-workers, including physicians. i don't talk about it, don't explain it to them, i just don't tolerate it. if someone yells at me on the phone, i tell them i'll be happy to talk to them when they're calmer and hang up. if they're verbally abusive in person, i tell them i'll be happy to talk to them when they're calmer and walk away. if they're just "short" or abrupt, and it's not habitual i'll figure they're having a bad day and cut them some slack. but it it's habitual, humor usually works. for instance, one nephrologist was always nasty. one morning, i just sort of had enough and snapped out "oh yes, doctor. i'm sure dr. smith ordered this consult just to ruin both of our days!" he was taken aback, but after a beat or two, he laughed, apologized and was never rude to me again. or, if you can find a moment when he's (and it's usually a "he," isn't it?) not being rude, try chatting with him for a few minutes and find something you have in common. maybe you both like scuba diving or go to the same church or have children in kindergarten or a passion for mozart. whatever, once you find that common ground, make it a point to chat about it every time you see him. soon he'll be looking forward to chatting with you.

i haven't had a physician be rude to me in years except the one time when a surgeon was abrupt with me on the phone -- turns out he was calling from his mother's hospital room while she was dying -- so i let that one pass.

MAISY, RN-ER, BSN, RN · Aug 5, 2007

:yelclap:Bravo!!! Ruby Vee is right on target. People are rude in every business-how you take it or don't makes the difference. While I think we all need to work together....no one will be rude to me without some type of repercussion. Residents seem to be the worst offenders, followed by their attendings. I used to be accomodating when they were on my assignment-I think they thought that gave them the right to walk off with my charts, take over my area, etc. NO MORE! Now I set the boundaries(this includes orders-if I can't read). Needless to say, I rarely have issues with them.

Maisy;)

reesern63, RN · Aug 5, 2007

I too am not a nurse yet, but have encountered very nasty folks wehre I work and at clinicals. 99% of the time, asking them to lower their voice and/or ask to speak with them in private solved the issue. You really have to have a backbone. Also, I see many nurses (especially older) in that floor-give up their seat instantly for the doctors (and accept the abuse from them too). Also, I see plenty of "chart-snatching"......where they come up grab the chart off the nurses hand and don't even say excuse me. Or, they take out all the charts and leave them randomly everywhere. For some odd reason nurses are supposed to walk behind them and put everything back where it belongs
Part of the problem lies with those "old school" thinking nurses/healthcare workers who accept the abuse and don't stand up for themselves. I have seen a few who will not tolerate any BS from the MD's and they know it.
I may be wrong-but this my mere observation so far.
Good luck in your job, but if it doesn't change......definitely look for another one.

I swear if I have to read one more snipe at "old school nurses" and how the new ones are going to do things so much better I will crack in two.

As an "old school nurse" (22yrs give me that rank) I find such sweeping generalizations offensive. I know plenty of experienced nurses that do no such thing.

Please think before you post such stereotypical remarks.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Aug 5, 2007

I swear if I have to read one more snipe at "old school nurses" and how the new ones are going to do things so much better I will crack in two.
As an "old school nurse" (22yrs give me that rank) I find such sweeping generalizations offensive. I know plenty of experienced nurses that do no such thing.
Please think before you post such stereotypical remarks.

Before you get your feathers ruffled, please read my second to last sentence.

Please don't add to my post. If you'd like to talk please PM me and we could do so

reesern63, RN · Aug 5, 2007

I too am not a nurse yet, but have encountered very nasty folks wehre I work and at clinicals. 99% of the time, asking them to lower their voice and/or ask to speak with them in private solved the issue. You really have to have a backbone. Also, I see many nurses (especially older) in that floor-give up their seat instantly for the doctors (and accept the abuse from them too). Also, I see plenty of "chart-snatching"......where they come up grab the chart off the nurses hand and don't even say excuse me. Or, they take out all the charts and leave them randomly everywhere. For some odd reason nurses are supposed to walk behind them and put everything back where it belongs
Part of the problem lies with those "old school" thinking nurses/healthcare workers who accept the abuse and don't stand up for themselves. I have seen a few who will not tolerate any BS from the MD's and they know it.
I may be wrong-but this my mere observation so far.
Good luck in your job, but if it doesn't change......definitely look for another one.

Res ipsa loquitor.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Aug 5, 2007

Res ipsa loquitor.

I am terribly sorry, but I only speak English and Spanish. Like I said before, PM if you really want to talk/discuss something.

subee, MSN, CRNA · Aug 5, 2007

I too am not a nurse yet, but have encountered very nasty folks wehre I work and at clinicals. 99% of the time, asking them to lower their voice and/or ask to speak with them in private solved the issue. You really have to have a backbone. Also, I see many nurses (especially older) in that floor-give up their seat instantly for the doctors (and accept the abuse from them too). Also, I see plenty of "chart-snatching"......where they come up grab the chart off the nurses hand and don't even say excuse me. Or, they take out all the charts and leave them randomly everywhere. For some odd reason nurses are supposed to walk behind them and put everything back where it belongs
Part of the problem lies with those "old school" thinking nurses/healthcare workers who accept the abuse and don't stand up for themselves. I have seen a few who will not tolerate any BS from the MD's and they know it.
I may be wrong-but this my mere observation so far.
Good luck in your job, but if it doesn't change......definitely look for another one.

'Changing your job is way to radical for this situation (providing that you're happy with other aspects). Rude people are EVERYWHERE - not just in hospitals. No matter where you work, rudeness is a constant insult. What needs to be managed is one's attitude about rudenesss and how you handle. If you find yourself angry, defensive or depressed about soneone's else treatment of youu, then YOU have permitted the other person's problem to cross into your boundary. Their rudeness has nothing to do with YOU. Its better to deflect it back to ehm. "Right now you're treating me rudely so I'm not going to respond to you now. Come back with an attitude change." But the ball in their court, where it belongs and NEVER let a rude person ruin your day - your time is too precious. Keep those boundaries intact!

TrudyRN · Aug 5, 2007

Don't quit because of him.

Just try to remember that he might be exhausted. If that doesn't help, be extra sweet. Hand him a mint or some other hard candy and say, "Now be sweet. I know you're having a hard time but I was off that day that you're referring to and you may not yell at me about it or about what another doctor did or did not do, you hear?" Say it real nicely and quickly add that "I will be delighted to try to help you now if you'll be nice, Tom." Call him by his first name. He calls you that, doesn't he? It'll get his attention. You might not want to do that if he's an attending or older than you.

We used to wake up the rude ones unmercifully when we worked graveyards. It is great passive-aggressive vengeance, although it likely does not appeal to today's younger nurses. It allows you to vent without confronting. You can always say you are so sorry but you dialed the wrong number.

silas2642 · Aug 5, 2007

Hi, I am still in my first year of nursing. I have 3 more months til my year is up, and one of my biggest complaints is having to put up with rude dr. i mean, nursing is stressful by itself especially on the floor that i work, vascular/renal stepdown unit. I just recently started the nightshift as well. One day last week a doctor(resident) got smart with me when i was only doing my job and it really ticked me off. are we nurses suppose to just sit there like a sitting duck and take this kind of treatment. i was really upset, all i could do is walk off not responding to his comment and find other things that i could be doing. Of course the same dr. needed my assitance some minutes later. This happens a lot and is one of the reasons why i don't think i will be renewing my employment after my year is up. This was not in my job description nor did anyone tell me that it would be like this once i started. Where would the physician be if there were not nurses, where would the patients be, ( i hate to think) Yet we are suppose to sit there and take this type of treatment. How do you handle a rude dr. What is the best way to handle this situation? I have 3 more months of this and then, i am gone. And i have to ask myself, they wonder why there is a nursing shortage. I didnt come into this profession to be abused. How do you handle a rude dr, i would really like to hear some suggestions or advice on this topic.

Okay, so you're a nurse in your first year, which means you probably haven't realized the power that you have over doctors, especially over residents. You can make them or break them-- if you hate them and they don't treat you with respect, you can make their lives a living hell. If he/she is treating you like crap, treat him/her like crap. Page him for stupid things you could easily fix for him, wake him up frequently when he's on call for simple tasks, etc. Eventually he might get the hint.

woody62, RN · Aug 5, 2007

I never suffered rude residents, not even as a new graduate. The one truly rude attending I suffered, I suffered only until he finished making his rounds. Then I asked him to meet me in the break room. I very nicely and calmly told him I had a name, right here on my name badge and I would appreciate him using it. The next time he appeared on my unit and snapped his fingers for my attention, I would ignore him. And I would instruct my staff to ignore him. He had his title and all of the rest of us had ours. He wanted respect and we wanted it as well. And to get it, he would have to treat us with respect and as human beings.

I guess my little lecture worked. None of us had any further problems with him.

Woody:balloons:

reesern63, RN · Aug 5, 2007

Okay, so you're a nurse in your first year, which means you probably haven't realized the power that you have over doctors, especially over residents. You can make them or break them-- if you hate them and they don't treat you with respect, you can make their lives a living hell. If he/she is treating you like crap, treat him/her like crap. Page him for stupid things you could easily fix for him, wake him up frequently when he's on call for simple tasks, etc. Eventually he might get the hint.

This is absolutely the worst thing you can do. You do not return bad behavior with bad behavior. If the doc isn't being professional, it's still up to you to be the professional. Try talking to him/her and working it out. Walk away from a nasy confrontation if necessary. If appropriate, write it up in an incident report.

The last thing you want to do is engage in tit-for-tat behavior. At best it makes you look just as juvenile as the doc. At worst, it fosters more ill will and makes working relationships between doctors and nurses difficult.

EmmaG, RN · Aug 6, 2007

I am terribly sorry, but I only speak English and Spanish. Like I said before, PM if you really want to talk/discuss something.

A working knowledge of Latin can be quite helpful in nursing.