How is your family coping???

hangnon · Feb 9, 2005

How has your family been coping while you're in school? My husband has been absolutely wonderful. He takes care of the kids during the day (3 &5) and works at night so that I can go to school during the day. The house is relatively clean (depends on your definition).
BUT...
My kids are paying the price. I don't see them until about 4 pm each day. I miss them terribly, but then shoo them away when I get home so that I can start my studies. My oldest son has always been stubborn, but it's getting worse and I know it's because he wants my attention. He can be downright obnoxious and I'm thinking of calling the Supernanny for some help! My little one is a bit better off, but I see some subtle disciple issues that need to be nipped in the bud.
How are you dealing with kids/attention/disciple/behavior/etc. while you're in school??? Any advice will be appreciated!!!

I know how that goes, but thank god for supportive husbands! mine too is wonderful about pitching in and helping out. I don't even need to ask. What we've found has worked is him taking the kids to do something Saturday mornings while I get my study time in and then us spending the rest of the afternoon together as a family. During the week my kids have just gotten used to seeing me sitting in the office and doing homework. I feel guilty a lot, but when my kids tell me they are proud of me, it's all worth it.

RedSox33RN · Feb 9, 2005

I cut back my schedule this semester - actually finished Nsg. 101 last semester and started Nsg 102 this semester, along with A&P2, but it was too much. Between a 2 1/2 hour drive 5x/week, long days at clinical, an impending divorce, and studying whenever I could manage, my kids were paying the price. Granted, the older ones (14 and 12) are self-sufficient, to a point, but I love being involved in all of their activities. The younger ones need someone there at home with them, and 2 days a week, when I was at clinical, I couldn't be, so my oldest had to babysit. It just wasn't fair to her, as she likes to snowboard each day when her homework is done.

So my new schedule is working better. Next year they will be a year older, and 3 will be self-sufficient while I'm gone (or just traveling home, so they'll only not see me for an hour), and I should have more study time with my science stuff out of the way. Hopefully by then I'll be in a new house, or he will be.

My kids are great though, and still offer to clean - sometimes! I tell them all the time what a huge help that is.

twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN · Feb 9, 2005

My husband is very supportive of me going to school and all, but he doesn't help around the house hardly at all. I can't complain much, just yesterday he worked 14 hours straight! See, we had my mother in law living with us (she paid a good amount in rent to help but we did alot for her too), my nephew who was 16, my three girls who are 4 and the twins are 3, my husband and I. Sometimes even my SIL with her son and my BIL (who didn't pay a nickle in rent but thats another story).

We had to kick out the MIL (meddling too much in our disipline with the girls and nephew). Our nephew was doing drugs and ended up leaving also. So now its just Curtis, me and the girls and since Curtis works 2nd shift, after school its just me and the girls. Thankfully we are getting a routine down so there arn't as many disipline issues as we used to have. Everything at a certain time in a certain way. I do wish though that Curtis could do a few things around the house instead of just sleep and work.

Poor guy though, he works so hard it just makes me want to do that much better in school so that he can say it was all worth it.

mom2michael, MSN, RN, NP · Feb 9, 2005

Have you tried a family fun day, 1x a week, where you don't talk about school, you don't worry about school and you just have fun with your kids (and hubby if he can come)? It can be as easy as finding a movie on TV and watching it together or going for a walk or going out to dinner at their favorite place to eat. As the weather gets warmed, going to the park. Going to the mall, playing outside. Just something where you devote at least 2 hours to just them with no distractions.

I find that the key to succesful harmony in my house with school and work. Because everything got turned upside down, this is the 1 thing that my son knows is a given for him every single week. He looks forward to it and plans out what he wants to do for his family fun day (which is really like his family fun 3 hours....but it's enough for him).

Good luck!!!

Arkhunter · Feb 9, 2005

How has your family been coping while you're in school? My husband has been absolutely wonderful. He takes care of the kids during the day (3 &5) and works at night so that I can go to school during the day. The house is relatively clean (depends on your definition).
BUT...
My kids are paying the price. I don't see them until about 4 pm each day. I miss them terribly, but then shoo them away when I get home so that I can start my studies. My oldest son has always been stubborn, but it's getting worse and I know it's because he wants my attention. He can be downright obnoxious and I'm thinking of calling the Supernanny for some help! My little one is a bit better off, but I see some subtle disciple issues that need to be nipped in the bud.
How are you dealing with kids/attention/disciple/behavior/etc. while you're in school??? Any advice will be appreciated!!!

Wow! I am not alone! :) My DH is really supportive and helpful. The house is not quite up to my standards, but he has been trying. He does all of the cooking too. Just about always has too, for 13 years. The boys on the other hand. I can definitely see them suffering in this. I pray that someday they will understand. It is my 6yo that is the one I am really concerned about. My 3yo is still a "baby" and I think he will be fine, being young and he just has a different personality. My 6yo really needs a lot of attention. I try to give him extra hugs and at night when we do our nightly prayers, I try to talk with him one on one, just to try to get him to realize why I am in school. I also try to make the most of my vacations,which I have one coming up in about a week. Maybe we can go on a "date". As for discipline, that has been an issue we have noticed also. I do not think I have any help here. I am at a loss here also, because somedays my boys are great and other days I think they feel my stress so they start to act up and I am so stressed that I am not sure what to do and then DH takes over. Someday things will get "normal" again! By the way, someone want to tell me what normal is? I think I have forgotten!:lol_hitti ~~ Annette