How Do You Separate Home Life From Work When They Bleed Together?

[CMALynzer]

It's only Tuesday, and already it has been the most stressful week I've had since I've became a nurse. Yesterday, it seemed like everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

I work in a clinic as a CMA, I've been here for a year and a half. I've seen all sorts of things, but as any nurse can tell you, "there's never a boring day in nursing". I work part time here and I care for my Grandfather who has Alzheimer's disease at home full time. We are in the process of placing him in a Nursing Home because he has advanced to the point where he is unsafe in his home. He has sundowner's very badly and wanders and has become destructive and he doesn't know me or my Grandmother or his own home any more. Furthermore he has become extremely destructive and needs full cares.

This is the hardest decision my family has ever had to make. He was supposed to be admitted in the nursing home yesterday.

My grandmother called and left a message yesterday that his chest CT came back positive for Lung Cancer, and that also there were no open beds available at the nursing home and his admit was moved to next Monday.

This was upsetting, but not a surprise as he was symptomatic for cancer and smoked for 50 years. As far as the nursing home went, I figured we'd be fine having him home another week.

But things started to get real bad when in the afternoon my Great Aunt (my grandfather's sister) was brought in by her sisters to see my physician about recent disturbing behaviours and memory loss.

She was seen and my physician came to me at the nurses desk and asked me to call the Crisis Team. I was shook up but did as I was told.

To make a long story short she was transported to a Senior Behavioral Health Hospital for a 72 hour hold.

I was so shook up from all this happening I went home, turned on Dancing with the Stars and had a drink. I had a very hard time waking up this morning. I suppse my body wants to shut down and rest, but I couldn't because I had to be back to work at 8 a.m.

How do you deal with situations like that? How do you separate work from you personal life when they bleed together? I want to be like everyone else and go home and forget about work and vice versa...

Any advice?

[caliotter3]

Take three days off from work and go into your room and hibernate away from your family. You need to rest or you will collapse and won't be good to anyone.

[purse]

Take three days off from work and go into your room and hibernate away from your family. You need to rest or you will collapse and won't be good to anyone.

I agree, but make sure you take plenty of ben and jerrys ice cream with you;)

[lillymom]

"It's only Tuesday, and already it has been the most stressful week I've had since I've became a nurse. Yesterday, it seemed like everything that could go wrong, went wrong.

I work in a clinic as a CMA, I've been here for a year and a half."

I'm not saying this to be rude but you are going to make a lot of people mad with this statement. I am a CMA and if you are too be proud of that fact and call yourself a CMA, not a nurse. Sorry but there is a lot of heated debates about this and it may even be illegal depending on the state. Just a head's up.

[CMALynzer]

Lillymom: I will restate that, I work as a CMA in the nursing department. My nametag says my name followed by CA (because we all work together and both LPN and CMAs are called Clinical Assistants in the Job Title where I work) then after that it says Nursing. CMAs and LPNs work together and it is rude to think that CMAs or LPNs are above or below eachother. Where I work we have the same exact job duties and responsibilities. We have a great team here because predjucies like that are not present, we are equals.

I have been through the LPN program but decided to instead go back and take CMA so that someday I can work in Lab or X-Ray if I ever get bored of "nursing".

Please do not make personal attacks.

Thank you.

[lillymom]

I wasn't making a personal attack. I am a CMA myself. I was trying to warn you to edit your post so you would not offend the nurses. Most take the title seriously and with pride. Just thought you might want to know in case you get flamed. Sorry if I came across as rude I honestly wasn't meaning to.:) I just read that it states you are an LPN as well so sorry for the confusion.

[CMALynzer]

That's just fine, i just get frustrated with the whole title argument. Please forgive me as well.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

not an offense, but could be illegal. In Texas it is against the law to call yourself a nurse or pose as one unless you are duly licensed. No need in adding to your stress by using the wrong term.

As for your family, this is a very difficult time and you really do need to take some time off, if possible. If your employer/insurance offers counseling I recommend you take advantage, even if over the phone. Professionals can give you ways to help cope with your situation. Best of luck!

[OldNurseEducator]

not an offense, but could be illegal. In Texas it is against the law to call yourself a nurse or pose as one unless you are duly licensed. No need in adding to your stress by using the wrong term.

As for your family, this is a very difficult time and you really do need to take some time off, if possible. If your employer/insurance offers counseling I recommend you take advantage, even if over the phone. Professionals can give you ways to help cope with your situation. Best of luck!

You cannot call yourself a nurse unless you have LPN or RN behind your name. In Ohio, it is against the law and could get you in a whole lotta' trouble! Jusy sayin'. :nurse:

[rn/writer, RN]

Thank you to the posters who worked through the above misunderstanding with kindness. What a great example of the type of consideration we need to show each other in the workplace.

Now that the title confusion has been clarified and the protected nature of the term "nurse" has been explained, please confine responses to what the OP is asking about, specifically, how to keep the personal and the professional aspects of life from converging and overwhelming her.

Because it has been addressed, please do not post anything more about the CMA vs. nursing title situation.

Thank you.

[lillymom]

I understand the title thing since I work in an office as well. It's hard to seperate work and family when your family sees the doc's you work for. I try to work where I don't think I will not run into family because it can get frustrating. I have a mentality that I have to leave work behind when I am not there. There is nothing I can do outside of the office and I make myself aware of this the moment I step out the door. I would suggest taking a day or two off and concentrating on yourself for a bit. Being tired and weary can affect your work for sure. I wish you and yours well and hope everything works out for the best.

[rn/writer, RN]

Coming home and disengaging was a good way to chill, although I'd be careful of drinking on a regular basis. An occasional beer or glass of wine can help de-stress, but if you find yourself increasing the amount or frequency of your intake, it might be time to look for other things that don't have such an addictive potential.

You can look at this as a short-term situation and put unnecessary tasks and obligations on a temporary hiatus. Do what you absolutely need to in order to get through the next couple of weeks and let yourself off the hook from things that can wait or even be forgotten.

Then again, if it makes you feel good to clean out a closet or wash the curtains, have at it.

Listen to your gut. Take a few extra minutes to make certain you haven't forgotten anything when leaving the house or getting ready to punch out at work. We do this automatically when things are humming along smoothly. It's much more difficult to catch little lapses when we're preoccupied.

Realize that a part of you is grieving and another part is gearing up for whatever is ahead. It's okay to feel sad, angry, relieved, whatever. Why? Because that is what you feel.

Let one or two trusted co-workers (or your boss if you feel he/she's a safe person) know what is going on behind the scenes and that you might not seem like yourself for a little while.

Treat yourself to a DVD or good haircut or whatever else will give you a little lift.

Finally, try to establish some boundaries, even if only in your own mind, about which hat you're wearing when. Are you the CMA or the granddaughter? You may have to jump back and forth quickly at times, but at least you will be able to think according to your role.

Your family is blessed to have you.

This rough situation will pass, and you will be stronger for having gone through it.

Take care. :redbeathe