I am FRUSTRATED!!! I need to vent... Considering I am somewhat anonymous here, I figured I would be able to get out what I'm feeling without holding anything back. I began Nursing school 3 months ago. I am currently an LPN but didn't feel the need to share that with anyone because I felt it wasn't something anyone, in general, would care to know. My first clinical day at the nursing home was TERRIBLE! I was paired with someone, I thought, was sweet and we would have gotten along great. Everyone knows how good it feels to have teamwork and a day with someone that is nice and easy going. Well.... Her during her first vital assessment, I noticed while she was taking a radial pulse, she didn't have a watch. I also noticed the clock on the wall was behind us, so I was curious to how she was checking the pulse and keeping count. Of course, I wouldn't say anything in front of the patient but I felt I should question it. I did hesitate at first but then I couldn't just say nothing! I mean, what was I suppose to do, It was my first day! I said very sweet like because I am a sweet girl. I said, "how were you able to check the pulse without a watch?" She said by counting 1 Mississippi 2 Mississippi in her head. Now, I know she had 0 medical experience but we had just got checked off for vitals and I had no idea how she thought she could get an accurate pulse rate by double counting in her head. All I said was, "I don't think we are able to do it like that, are we?" & that was it. She gave me attitude and refused to do any vitals. When the instructor came around, I was assessing an apical pulse and she went to ask the instructor about it. Of course, the instructor verified with her that it was impossible to get an accurate reading the way she was doing it and carried on. I was so uncomfortable because she began to be rude and very attitude like towards me. I tried my best to be nice and cool with her. Up until I was coming out of the bathroom and walked up on her talking junk about me to the other nursing students... I mean, come on!!! I don't need this. Then she goes on to say that I like to work alone when she refused to take vitals even after I offered for her to wear my watch. Out of 24 students, why did I have to be the one?!? Why Lord?! I was furious... Needless to say, she went and complained and we were switched. Now the class is wondering whats going on and since I keep my mouth shut, the only story they were getting was hers which was a result of her insecurities and was giving me a bad rep that was not even cool, nor fair to me! Let's fast forward now... I was put in a group for a culture project. My group was the only group that didn't communicate and it was mentioned to us. One girl's dad died and I had compassion for her and offered to pick up any slack on the project. We knew about this project 2 months before it was due and 2 weeks before it was due I was still trying to meet up and there was 1 person that was causing so many issues. I sent an email and basically laid out a very detailed concise plan and requested they be willing to work with me as a team to get it done... Good Lord, I SHOULD NOT have done that. Ever since that, the communication got worse. There was no communication, to begin with. So finally after allowing them to pick MY topic and pick the order, I would present, I started my work and went running full speed. I created a really cool powtoon video that was awesome!! They got upset with me for not sharing it with them prior to the presentation but I literally had to do this on my own and on a deadline. Mind you, for over a month I had been trying to meet with them all together to figure out a plan to see who was going to do what. It was a joke. Had I not done the video, we would have been the only group out of the 6 to not have a video but even still, they were angry with me. I received a response text msg the weekend before our project was due to do our own thing independently, so that meant exactly what it said to me. I was so over this project already. 1:00 am the morning of, I had to text a group member to send me her outline because I was responsible for compiling them all together. the other 2 group members emailed them to me, but I had to baby sit the other and she is a 49-year-old woman!! It was a joke! After the project was done, I felt relieved. our project kicked butt and we had so many compliments. I was just thankful I could move on from that nightmare. Next thing I know, we're having a meeting together and they are complaining about me, all 3 ganging up on me saying that I did my own thing and didn't communicate with them... It was INSANE!!!. I had to show the instructor all of our text messages just to show the TRUTH! & how I was doing my part to get the project rolling!! They were slacking, bottom line, well, the one that contaminated the group caused so many ripples with drama and her life drama that because I am so proactive trying to get the project done, I was to blame. I mean, the instructor could see the amount of work I put into the project. After that, things only went down hill for me! The clinical group I am in is one-half of the room and it happens to be all of the girls that don't care for me and act behave like they are in Jr. High. I'm only 32 but I am very laid back and don't gossip or cause drama & that's why this has been such a nightmare. When we are doing ATI simulation as a group with the instructor and we are all supposed to answer a question, if I get it wrong, they laugh and say slick stuff under their breath; sometimes I am ignored, so after lunch today, I gave up! I decided to withdraw and not participate in answering questions.Why would I want to continue being treated that way? I'll just sit back and listen. I wouldn't laugh at them when they answer something wrong, nor have I done so when they do. I am smart. I didn't just get my LPN by paying for a certificate, I worked hard for it but I don't have to explain anything to them. I don't have to tell them I'm an LPN so they'll back off because to be quite honest, the way things are going, I feel it would only add fuel to the flame. I have experience but I am far from someone to make another feel as if I'm better or smarter because I am not. I actually feel inadequate at times and them snickering like little kids and rolling their eyes when I ask a question or answer something wrong is just too much for me at times and I feel like I'm going to lose my patience with them! Now, the other clinical group, I love! They are awesome! They don't have that type of nonsense going on. They treat everyone with respect. In my group, it's 5 of them that talk over everyone together like a mean girls club. So, I have decided to just not answer any more questions and withdraw from participating in the simulations or being active with the class. It really makes me sad though, because I am outgoing, not over the top gal, but sweet, cool and chill. I feel as though the pattern with the issues has not been giving me a good name and I just don't know what to do. I only have a few more weeks of this semester and I'm trying my best to shut up, stay to myself and enjoy the people that are good, supporting and non-judgemental, normal people. I wonder how the heck the other girls decided to become nurses? Drama just exhausts me. How do I release this stress/anger/anxiety and woooo saaaa before I go complain and have yet another issue to my name? On the other hand, my other instructor doesn't put up with that crap. I thrive and enjoy her class. Active participation is encouraged and I don't feel stupid when answering something wrong because they know better than to try that in her class. Is my nursing instructor wrong for not controlling her class? Am I the issue? I felt exhausted to just type all of this out, I feel better now. I would have liked to enjoy this experience but a journey I had been so excited for has become depressing and exhausted mentally with just drama. I need to escape from the drama. I need them to leave me alone. I need to feel comfortable to answer and participate in class so I can learn too. I can only pray things change after this semester. Anyway, advice and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism will be welcomed. Thank you for listening to my rant. It is over now.
