How to DEAL?!?

shibaowner, MSN, RN, NP · Jul 26, 2017

I am very sorry you are going through this. I feel your frustration and hurt. Nursing school can be difficult in many ways. At 32, you have more maturity and life experience, so you have to ignore some of this crap. You were right about taking vital signs. As far as that student badmouthing you, so what? I earned my BSN at the ripe old age of 53 and simply had no interest in the younger students' drama - I ignored it and did not get drawn into it. Some students badmouthed me and I couldn't care less.

Make some friends of your own, so you have some study buddies and build your own network.

You mention there are only a few weeks in this semester, so hang in there. Next semester, try to get paired or grouped with the students that are serious about their schooling.

Group projects - I had a similar experience in a group project the last semester of my MSN, to my shock. What I learned: if you are in a group that refuses to communicate and where one or more members are not pulling their weight, talk to the professor ASAP! Keep a record of texts and emails as evidence. Don't wait until the end of the semester or until the assignment is due. As soon as you realize there is going to be a problem, talk to the professor and ask to be reassigned or to just do the project on your own.

Keep your chin up! You can do this. Good luck!

Smith1283 · Jul 26, 2017

THANK YOU! I really appreciate your words of encouragement í ¾í´—í ½í¸â¤ï¸

**NICU Guy, BSN, RN** · Jul 27, 2017

I had a similar situation in a group project during Nutrition class, but it was only one person. All the group members were to meet at the school's library at a certain time. Everyone was there except one member. When called, she gave a lame excuse. We divvied up the sections and I was in charge of collecting the sections and formatting them into a power point and add pictures. One member agreed to contact the missing member. The night before it was due, I had all the sections except the missing member's section. I called her to ask her to email me her section. Her answer was "It's 10 o'clock at night, I going to bed. I don't have time to do it". I ended up doing her section. The next day before class, I went to the instructor and explained everything. He let her stand up with us during the presentation, but after class he told her that she would not be getting any credit for the assignment. She was not happy and played the victim which held little weight with the instructor.

Fortunately, in nursing school I was in an ABSN cohort filled with overachievers. When it came to group projects there were definitely no slackers. The core of the projects were done well ahead of time which left plenty of time for the overachievers to tweak the presentation endlessly until the deadline.

Smith1283 · Jul 27, 2017

Thanks man... It shouldn't be this way.. I just need to keep my sanity.

xxstarrynitesxx · Jul 27, 2017

I am honestly sorry that you have to go through all of that drama. I once heard that a friend had witnessed one girl flushing another student's ID and keys over something that happened. I had thought it mildly amusing at the time because I seriously could not believe people would be that vicious. As I am on here more and more, I realize there are some people who out there who are ugly on the inside.

Continue to keep record of exchanges that take place and try to make time to exercise. Perhaps even a boxing class so you can imagine their faces on a punching bag could work. Eventually, everything they do will catch up to them.

I had two different group projects that drove me up the wall. I could not get in contact with one lady the entire time leading up to the project. I think we had class one day and the next class period we had off before the project was due. I literally e-mailed and texted her right up until I had to leave for class practically begging that she at least send me her name so I could put her name on the project. Right before I walked out the door, I sent an e-mail to my professor explaining the situation. My other partner and I got an A, and the other lady failed. The second group project not only cost me thousands of dollars because I had to find someone I could trust to fill in as a coordinator for a high end event (of course group mates could not show up), but it also almost made me strangle my group mates. We had the highest grade out of the entire class and the best presentation (I was fortunate enough to have effective presenters), but good God getting them to meet and do their assignments was a nightmare. Picture this, final 11:45 AM... They get done with their written portions at 11:15 AM... Has to be under 10 minutes. First run through takes 20 minutes. Second run gets cut off so we have a few minutes to run to class. I think my professor paired us up with people that operated so differently from us to test our communication abilities. After I let the professor know just how much this project cost and other people in different groups shared similar train wrecks, she has not had another project like this again. My group for a pre-nursing class was the best experience in the world for me and restored my faith in group work. These young women were driven and we all helped each other out as needed. As I was the one with an easier course load, I would always assign myself extra diseases if we had an odd split.

I truly hope things get better for you and these people understand that you are all trying to become nurses together. It is a shame they have to put others down to make themselves feel better about their shortcomings.

OsceanSN2018 · Jul 27, 2017

Wow, I can't believe that the students in nursing school can be become this catty. You would expect mature and level headed adults with only one focus--getting through nursing school. But I guess not.

Smith1283 · Jul 27, 2017

I truly appreciate your you sharing your personal story with me. & thank you for the encouragement!

Castiela · Jul 27, 2017

I swear group projects only teach you to trust no one, I'm sorry you had these experiences. The downside to these experiences is to realize hat your peers will one day be your colleagues and that there are nurses in every field who are like that in professional settings. My advice is to always remain professional and not react to the bullying, and to have a neutral 3rd party present if possible if you give your peers feedback. Continue to develop your own practice and don't hold back in class on account of them. It's hurtful when you're on the outside of the group, but ignore them and hopefully they get tired of picking on you when they realize they can't get a rise from you

Smith1283 · Jul 27, 2017

I truly appreciate that advice. I will definitely try that approach í ½í¹‚

LPN1118 · Jul 27, 2017

I got stuck with girls like that in my first year of clinical. They were also in my lecture and would whisper and snicker when other students would ask the instructor to explain something that wasn't understood. I nicknamed them "The Snob Squad". Hang in there if you're class is almost over.

BTW I can believe that girl thought it was okay to count Mississippi's. That's just crazy.

Smith1283 · Jul 27, 2017

I got stuck with girls like that in my first year of clinical. They were also in my lecture and would whisper and snicker when other students would ask the instructor to explain something that wasn't understood. I nicknamed them "The Snob Squad". Hang in there if you're class is almost over.
BTW I can believe that girl thought it was okay to count Mississippi's. That's just crazy.

I couldn't believe she did either. I would've helped her. I'm a good person. I'm still nice to her when I need to be. I just wonder how she did it exactly.. & the snob squad.. that's funny.. I will always remember that.. just have to keep it to myself because I sincerely want the drama to end. It's only fun for the 5 in the group doing it. Thank you for the encouragement.. I'm so glad I decided to post í ½í¸ƒ