How do you deal with.....?

Ruthiegal · Feb 9, 2009

It may be exhausting but think about the judgement you are making. They may be uneducated or ignorant, but maybe that isn't their choice. Not everyone can find a way to go to college and better themselves. They may not know it's not proper to use the ER as a doctors office. Maybe being calm with them and trying to educate them would be more helpful than thinking of them as nasty "life-suckers". I know they are difficult to deal with, but they aren't yelling at you personally, maybe they are angry with their own situation and you just happen to be in the line of fire. Somtimes you have to be blunt, and to the point when saying no to the things they want that aren't necessary or that the family can do for themselves. Hang in there and just treat them like anyone else who comes through the door for help, and don't take their bully attitude. Explain and smile and go on with what needs to be done.

CABG patch kid, BSN, RN · Feb 9, 2009

I think a good place for you to start was coming to this forum to vent! I don't think its wrong of you to "judge" or call them life-suckers as you are probably holding in a lot of pent-up feelings right now and since you could never say things that you really want to say to them, you keep it all inside. It can be exhausting to keep that smile plastered on your face when you feel that you are being pulled 100 directions and no one seems to appreciate the fact that you are busting your @$$ for them, or that you have a critical patient that needs attention and then a family member gets mad at you for not fluffing mom's pillow. I've seen it and dealt with it too.

We are supposed to treat all our patients equal, but that can be so dang hard when you have a sour puss who complains about every little thing you do when you are bending over backwards to please them, yet your 55 year old patient who has stage 4 cancer, who actually HAS something to be angry about, is the sweetest person in the world and repeatedly says "I understand" when you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off.

What can you do about those people who treat you badly and make you question your job? Unfortunately you just have to take it as the bad, as in, we have good days and bad days, "good" patients and "bad" patients. Not saying that the actual people are bad, just the amount of work, frustration and feelings of inadequacy we can get from the strain of this career choice we've made. This forum is a good place to vent, as are like-minded coworkers ( I have just one particular nurse that I make a coffee date with every once in awhile so we can vent to each other. It really helps. Just make sure you really trust that person not to tattle on you for what you say lol). Also, my fiance so kindly reminds me that we are on the hospital's time clock, and sometimes taking BS from ppl is just part of the job, one of the reasons we make a decent living. Try to brush it off when you get home; maybe take an hour or so to decompress, then forget about it. If it really is that unbearable, you may have to find another place to work, but just remember there are difficult people everywhere

Good luck, I hope you figure things out!

pererau · Feb 9, 2009

You are a patient advocate. That means that it is your responsibility to advocate for the well-being of the patient. This means ensuring the patients get the proper treatments and medications and respect.

The patient will sometimes have you believe that this means that you are to get them more dilaudid, inapropriate radiology tests, and the like. Don't fall for that trap.

Advocating for the patient sometimes means pleading with the doc for more meds, but sometimes it means teaching the patient that the drugs they want are not appropriate for their condition, or explaining why an MRI isn't appropriate for a sore throat.

Also, remember that advocating for patients also means advocating for patients that are still in the waiting room. If you fall for the idea that you have to do everything that your patient wants, then you are delaying the care of the patients that are yet to be seen.

What I do: I try to respect everyone and make sure that they are comfortable, but I do not let them order me around, and I do not bend the golden rule of the ER (sickest goes first) on the whim of a patient.

Good luck

gr8rnpjt, RN · Feb 9, 2009

my hats off to all of you ER nurses out there and for what you do and put up with every day. :bowingpur You guys are amazing and you deserve to vent your frustration here any time. There will always be someone who can help you deal with the pressure and others like me who just simply admire you for what you do.

Trauma Columnist · Feb 9, 2009

I worked inner city level one trauma center for 10 years. Some hints:

1. Don't take anything personally.

2. Leave work at work.

3. Have fun outside work.

4. Deal with the angry, unhappy pts with as much kindness as you can muster. If you can't do it, step out of the situation.

5. Don't get sucked into their lives.

6. While many people do not choose their lives, it is not up to us as ER nurses to change them.

7. Rely on your co-workers that you admire. What do they do right? What you could you take into your practice and make it your own?

Enjoy yourself in the ER. It is chaotic and thankless many days, but then there is the one pt or family that you do help and that is where the smile comes in.

Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN · Feb 10, 2009

I came to a belief that the "angry " patients feel like they have lost total control when they have to rely on medical treatment and these actions are their way of gaining some semblance of control back. That is how I deal with them. Let them have some sort of control back. that worked for me

RN_in_SC · Feb 10, 2009

Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate them all.

I_LOVE_TRAUMA, RN · Feb 10, 2009

Welcome to the wonderful world of ER nursing, a large majority of the patients that you will see do not need to be there, will not be nice, and will make you question the path you have chosen. Just try to remember why you are there, and the patient's and family's lives that you are touching forever, you will quickly remember why you are there doing what we do. For me, the miracles that we see erase all of the other stuff. Please do not judge your co-workers quickly as being "unprofessional", a lot of us older ER nurses are not "burnt out" we have just grown thick skin, learned to make sure we are not ever (or our co-workers) treated badly. We are not rude, we have just learned to talk to certain patients in terms that we can be sure that they understand (and it usually works for the patient). We cannot advocate for every patient, and some patients do not want us to at all. Please try and not try to change every patient, it will wear you out quickly, some patients just want to abuse the system-plain and simple. They are not all "going through a bad time," I had a patient just last week, who actually said to me-"Why would I go to work, trust me, I eat better than you and haven't worked for over 10 years, America is a great place to be, I love every minute of not working." Spend your time with the ones who truly want your help, you will feel a lot better. Remember, you can learn a great deal from the nurses that have been there for a while, and if you still think that your co-workers are not doing right by the patients, then maybe the ER is not the right fit for you. We are constantly getting this "ER nurses are nasty, rude, evil, uncaring people, who should not be in nursing" and we don't need to be constantly defending ourselves. Mostly all of the ER nurses I know are not only extremely caring, professional, skilled people who I would trust with my children's lives above all others, and I am extremely glad and that I have the opportunity to learn from them and work beside them. Another option, maybe it is just the ER you are at, maybe you would do much better at a different one? Just my :twocents:

RN_in_SC · Feb 11, 2009

It is no the way my co-workers treat patients that I find unprofessional. I think they all do well with the patients. It is more they way they treat each other, like we are back in High School. Thanks for your reply! Each one gives me something more to think about!

northshore08 · Feb 13, 2009

Network with other nurses, do a little travel nursing on the side, see other hospitals with their work environment and types of patients. It's not all like you are experiencing, and you know the old saying that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes you just know it's not right for you. Your experience there at that place can only be beneficial (experience-wise), but don't get sucked into the idea that this is the only place for you.

Unless you are contracted to stay at this facility, keep your options and your eyes open for a change if you really need it. Your career is more important than this one job. And I have a feeling the staff argues with one another because they have no control/say over how the patients treat them. :twocents: