We got a new admit in our home and he is very needy and demanding. Always using the call bell for stuff like moving the pillow, closing the window, etc... and if you do something not their liking they will have a comment like you did not do it properly or you did a lousy job putting on my Cpap mask on. Constant criticisms.
I spoke with the managers about this because myself and the staff are not going to let this resident abuse/ take advantage of us, all they said was that its their right, and we cannot be rude or tell them that we are attending sicker people. I told them, so you think its okay to take advantage of us? So I wonder what the ministry of labour will have to say about this.
We got a new admit in our home and he is very needy and demanding. Always using the call bell for stuff like moving the pillow, closing the window, etc... and if you do something not their liking they will have a comment like you did not do it properly or you did a lousy job putting on my Cpap mask on. Constant criticisms.
I spoke with the managers about this because myself and the staff are not going to let this resident abuse/ take advantage of us, all they said was that its their right, and we cannot be rude or tell them that we are attending sicker people. I told them, so you think its okay to take advantage of us? So I wonder what the ministry of labour will have to say about this.
How is asking for a window closing/opening or a pillow adjustment taking advantage of you?
You truly do need to try to put yourself in the resident's shoes. Being forced to live in a setting that is not of one's choosing is extremely painful.
If you have been self-reliant all your life, if you have been responsible for making a home for kids, for raising your family, for holding down a job and supporting your loved ones but you are now unable to even wipe your own nose or bathe or do your own laundry, or eat when and what you want, or even have a private room, it is seriously miserable to be forced to depend on other people for your smallest need or desire.
Maybe you served in the military to protect your country but now you can't talk or move without difficulty, if at all. you can't do what you want when you want or how you want. Do you have any idea of how frustrating, how embarrassing, how degrading that is?
Where is your comprehension of that? Where is your compasssion?
The Queen of England has 34 people attending her when she travels and who knows how many it takes to maintain her royal lifestyle. Our senior citizens and our disabled are lucky if they get a hot cup of coffee or a roommate whose excrement doesn't stink up the shared room too badly, or staff who aren't overworked and who can tend to them graciously, kindly, compassionately with maybe a little humor and dignity.
Seems like you had a lousy orientation, if any, or maybe this line of work isn't for you if you don't quickly take to heart what I have written here.
Another consideration: does this man have COPD or other serious respiratory-related dysfunction? Obesity can contribute to this-- you mentioned CPAP…
Many people think COPDrs are notoriously rude and demanding—“Fix my pillow,” “Move my water closer,” “Push the Kleenex over,” but on further observation experienced clinicians come to discover that these people have a respiratory reserve that is so small that they literally don’t have enough breath to add “Please” or bundle their requests.
They desaturate so fast that pulling their overbed table closer to reach the water pitcher is genuinely hard. This is hard for you, but it’s terrifying for them, and may not ever get any better, and they know it. Helplessness is hard. How do we nurse someone who has to live like that?
By putting ourselves in their shoes.
Try a little humor, some distraction, lots of good cheer. Get him talking about his pictures, learn his interests, his joys.
Years ago, I was a pediatric patient in the neuro ICU, following brain surgery (hydrocephalus). Some sort of doctor or counselor came into my room to do some cognitive testing. During the day, my covers had gotten pushed down to my ankles, and I was too weak to reach for them myself. I was cold. I politely asked the doctor/counselor if he could pull my covers up over my legs, then I'd be happy to do the testing. He flatly refused, and was so rude about it that I started to cry. I realized, even then, it was a power thing for him--"I'm a fully grown adult, you're just a child, *you* don't get to tell *me* what to do!" He did ultimately pull the covers up over my legs, complaining the entire time, even though I'd done everything he asked.
Maybe his pride told him that was a nurse's job.
I would think about finding him and reminding him about this incident. I would let him know you were cold, you were a frightened child, you had had BRAIN SURGERY! You might find that he has matured and realized the error of his ways. If not, perhaps being reminded might shock him into changing his evil ways so no one else has to suffer at his hands.
Just an afterthought - if you were in NICU, weren't there any staff fairly close by who could have helped you when you first felt cold? Not that that makes this guy's behavior and dastardly attitude any more acceptable.
Got that episode trumped. I was a pt in a rehab/SNF/NH from Hades about 2 yrs ago. My cpap machine fell off my bedside nite stand to the floor. I put the call lite on (horror story on its own!). Well, the Assist LNHA came in . All I wanted was for him to reposition my machine from the floor to my table.
He REFUSED! Outright told me 'IT WAS NOT HIS JOB!!
I specifically told him I wasn't expecting him to help me physically put it on or check the settings. Just get it up off the floor & hand me the hose.
Dude REFUSED!! The Assist LNHA!! Was I surprised now re lack of care from all other disciplines, top to bottom?!?!
Sadly, I was sooo sick I didn't have enough brain cells with the cognitive 'smarts' to have undertaken any responsive action. Like that CMS post survey.
But back to this post - I was NOT rude or demanding. Very confused r/t disease processes, yes. It was just the climate of that facility that poor care was the modus operandi.
Specializes in Physiology, CM, consulting, nsg edu, LNC, COB.
On 11/25/2021 at 1:14 AM, Kooky Korky said:
On 11/15/2021 at 3:00 PM, Hannahbanana said:
Many people think COPDrs are notoriously rude and demanding—“Fix my pillow,” “Move my water closer,” “Push the Kleenex over,” but on further observation experienced clinicians come to discover that these people have a respiratory reserve that is so small that they literally don’t have enough breath to add “Please” or bundle their requests.
They desaturate so fast that pulling their overbed table closer to reach the water pitcher is genuinely hard. This is hard for you, but it’s terrifying for them, and may not ever get any better, and they know it. Helplessness is hard. How do we nurse someone who has to live like that?
By putting ourselves in their shoes.
Try a little humor, some distraction, lots of good cheer. Get him talking about his pictures, learn his interests, his joys.
Hard to get him chatting if he doesn't even have enough pulmonary reserve to append "Please" to a request.
I asked the question originally to get the OP and others who were quick to heap displeasure on this patient to think a little less reactively, to think about how actual nursing (as opposed to completing tasks) might make a better plan to care for a person in that kind of physical and spiritual distress.
Specializes in Med/surg,orthopedics,emergency room,.
I have residents like these CONSTANTLY. One thing I will not/ do not tolerate is ANYONE being rude, crass, intimidating, to me or the staff, because it isn’t necessary. Most of the time it’s sort of a defense mechanic they use so they can have folk in their room so they don’t feel lonely. When I answer the call light, I do EVERYTHING possible , and ask them,” is there anything else I can do for you right now”? Nurses and staff are NOT everyone’s bunching bag, and it is NOT “ part of the job” to be called names and disrespected.
Got that episode trumped. I was a pt in a rehab/SNF/NH from Hades about 2 yrs ago. My cpap machine fell off my bedside nite stand to the floor. I put the call lite on (horror story on its own!). Well, the Assist LNHA came in . All I wanted was for him to reposition my machine from the floor to my table.
He REFUSED! Outright told me 'IT WAS NOT HIS JOB!!
I specifically told him I wasn't expecting him to help me physically put it on or check the settings. Just get it up off the floor & hand me the hose.
Dude REFUSED!! The Assist LNHA!! Was I surprised now re lack of care from all other disciplines, top to bottom?!?!
Sadly, I was sooo sick I didn't have enough brain cells with the cognitive 'smarts' to have undertaken any responsive action. Like that CMS post survey.
But back to this post - I was NOT rude or demanding. Very confused r/t disease processes, yes. It was just the climate of that facility that poor care was the modus operandi.
It's not too late to look him up and tell him what you have said here. He needs to be educated.
If he is arrogant, unaccepting, rude - report him to his boss and whatever licensing agency.
I have residents like these CONSTANTLY. One thing I will not/ do not tolerate is ANYONE being rude, crass, intimidating, to me or the staff, because it isn’t necessary. Most of the time it’s sort of a defense mechanic they use so they can have folk in their room so they don’t feel lonely. When I answer the call light, I do EVERYTHING possible , and ask them,” is there anything else I can do for you right now”? Nurses and staff are NOT everyone’s bunching bag, and it is NOT “ part of the job” to be called names and disrespected.
Of course it's not part of the job.
But you need to put your patients first. They are often scared, lonely. And your job is not just tasks. It is taking care of, helping people.
Put yourself in their shoes.
Follow the Golden Rule of treat others the way you want to be treated.
"A patient is a person in a strange environment on an involuntary basis going through one of the most unpleasant experiences of his/her life with persons not of his own choosing."
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
How is asking for a window closing/opening or a pillow adjustment taking advantage of you?
You truly do need to try to put yourself in the resident's shoes. Being forced to live in a setting that is not of one's choosing is extremely painful.
If you have been self-reliant all your life, if you have been responsible for making a home for kids, for raising your family, for holding down a job and supporting your loved ones but you are now unable to even wipe your own nose or bathe or do your own laundry, or eat when and what you want, or even have a private room, it is seriously miserable to be forced to depend on other people for your smallest need or desire.
Maybe you served in the military to protect your country but now you can't talk or move without difficulty, if at all. you can't do what you want when you want or how you want. Do you have any idea of how frustrating, how embarrassing, how degrading that is?
Where is your comprehension of that? Where is your compasssion?
The Queen of England has 34 people attending her when she travels and who knows how many it takes to maintain her royal lifestyle. Our senior citizens and our disabled are lucky if they get a hot cup of coffee or a roommate whose excrement doesn't stink up the shared room too badly, or staff who aren't overworked and who can tend to them graciously, kindly, compassionately with maybe a little humor and dignity.
Seems like you had a lousy orientation, if any, or maybe this line of work isn't for you if you don't quickly take to heart what I have written here.