How to deal with angry doctors

MedChica · May 14, 2014

I first entered healthcare at a time when they were allowed to throw temper tantrums. Yelling and throwing things. Saw it in the OR suite. Never directed towards me. Just those around me. Left an impression. I don't much care to deal with most physicians.

Since I've entered nursing, I see that much hasn't changed.

It's not you. I'm usually doing 20 words a second and still being rushed along. I should be thankful. My coworker is always getting the phone hung up in his face. The attending physicians are usually worse. Most of our providers (physicians) are ridic. If I'm paging a provider, it's because I can't create orders OR I need the direction of the head of the freakin' healthcare team. They know this so what's the problem? It's not as though they have to actually COME IN to the facility to do work. They're paid high double-digits to answer a 15 second phone call. If that.

To be honest, I understand the frustration of some or many physicians towards NPs, CRNAs and PAs and so forth. If I were an MD, I'd feel the same...but I'm rooting for 'the midlevels'. From a professional standpoint, I'd rather deal with an NP (or PA). I couldn't care less if we had 7 NPs for every 1 doc. Why? They listen. They don't treat us like telemarketers when we call. Care might improve because we wouldn't be being rushed off and the newer nurses wouldn't have apprehension/dread instilled in them, making them reluctant to call and eager to get off the phone to begin with.

So, yeah, you'll deal with rude docs. They specialize in 'the rudeness'.

I understand that people tend to defer to those in higher positions or with higher levels of education. I'm inclined to do this, too, but the buck stops at condescension and disrespect. Sometimes, you've gotta wear your ovaries on the outside. I can't tell you what I would've said to your doctor but you shouldn't have apologized. You didn't do anything wrong.

As a nurse, I recently had a doc get all bothered because she had to return my page, twice. It was around 6p. Minute she gets on the phone, she proceeds to complain about it for many seconds.

...and I waited for her ti finish, "Mmm. Well, I was calling about Mr. Roberts. He has -- " with glazed eyes and went right on into my usual rapid-fire SBAR delivery. Yes, an apology could've smoothed things over but there was nothing for me to apologize for. 6pm was resident dinnertime. If I'd waited until I was able to sit down and 'man' the phone, I wouldn't have paged until around 9p. Then, she would've given me crap because I was calling 'so late'. That's what irked me: No consideration for what was going on with my end.

No. I let her trail off before abruptly 'redirecting' her.

I was busy and tired. My feet hurt. 3 aides for 80 something residents, as usual. Freakin' 1 med aide on the floor -- 5 Star Facility, folks! That's why I couldn't get the call the first time. I was out of breath from running down the hall to get the phone when we did speak...because I was busy. Entirely too busy to have the first 10 seconds or so of that phone call sucked up by that damned entitled hag blathering on about 'being inconvenienced' and making the entire phone call 'all about her'.

Yeah, I ignored it. Blatantly. I do 'the rudeness', too.

Baby&kidRN · May 14, 2014

I agree with NICU gal! This needs to be reported. This is unacceptable behavior and he needs to be more professional! He should be grateful for the care his patient is receiving.Should there be a next time, tell him he cannot talk to you like that and if he continues you will call your ADN so he can talk to him/her. It's funny sometimes, when you put a Dr in his/her place they turn around with respect.

cdsga · May 14, 2014

When the rant ends and there is silence from my no response after I ask "Are you quite finished?" "I need something from you, hence my reason for calling." "Patient X is demonstrating this, which I need to report to you. What are your recommendations for this problem?" " So far I have done this and this and it is not helping." " Oh Doctor X, to answer your question-yes I see your name, and yes that's why I called you, and the other answer to your question is NO I am not stupid. Maybe one day we can meet and have a decent conversation. Thanks so much!"

ednurse17, BSN, MSN, RN, NP · May 14, 2014

These doctors signed up for this. They get paid nicely for what they do. I've been a nurse now for 20 years and don't take a lot of crap off any of them. I'd report the threat, which that is what it was. That's bullying and intimidation, pure and simple.

she244 · May 14, 2014

Being rude is one thing, making a Physical Threat is something different. The problem you will have is he can deny saying it. So you may need to make sure someone else hears your conversations with him from now on. There are a lot of doctors who are rude and feel superior to nurses and other staff. I had one make a comment about my weight, when he thought I could not hear him. I called him on it in front of other staff and a resident. He got flustered and denied saying it, but everyone knew he was lying. Good luck to you and please do not let a few unprofessional people change your compassion and your wanting to provide the best care. You will find there are people like him every where. Remember we are nurses because we care and want to help our patients.

AmandaTheNurse · May 14, 2014

First of all, 99% of the doctors have got so much pride in themselves. Asking the Dr whether he is familiar with his own patient is a huge blow to his ego. Questions like this will only make the Dr more defensive and angry. You should've never phrased ur sentence in this way. Anyways, now u know. When it comes to patients' urgent safety and health issue, I always call the Dr, even if it is 3 o clock in the morning. I don't care if he is grumpy or sleepy. But I make it very short and sweet and straight to the point, like, "Hello Dr__, this is calling from__ from__ regarding your patient__ from room__. He is having blah blah blah and blah blah blah." And that's it. I wait for the Dr to make up his mind and tell me what he wanna do for the patient. If the Dr is still in his sleepy head, I would then say, "Is there any orders I can carry out for u?". And that keeps me from the yellings and naggings from all these nasty Drs all this while

Bruceh · May 14, 2014

No matter who it doctor nurse whatever every one deserve respect. I hate doctors they seem to think they are above it all You didn't deserve this and I think you should report it.

Dr. Jeffrey G. Cyp · May 14, 2014

You should have "Reported" him through your "Normal" Chain of Command, so to speak, at your Hospital. To threaten ANYONE like that would be considered Verbal Abuse, here, in my Hospital, in Ohio. I'm glad that you just kept your head and stayed Professional. I REALLY think that you DID NOTHING WRONG. Keep on, keeping on. Dr. Jeff Brunswick,Ohio 44212

cdsga · May 14, 2014

When you are new and trying to talk to someone on the phone-you may ask an innocent question that could set someone off. For myself, I'm not walking on egg shells with people if I need an order and I need to report something to you I am going to ask clarifying questions. Are you familiar with? Some admitting doctors have never even seen the patient. So thinking that doctor's these days know everything about who they have their name on is ludicrous. I've even had doctors ask me, "Remind me who is this patient? Describe them to me. Oh yes I know now. Continue." So this doctor has no justification for his response and I don't need to stroke his or her ego at any time. I am a professional and hope that I would be talking to one on the other end of the line. I cannot abide advice such as... "you should have never said this or that"-that places blame on a nurse who had no way of knowing what was coming.

Katie-in-charge51, BSN, RN · May 14, 2014

I have been a nurse for 41 years, and have talked to all kinds of Drs, residents, etc. I agree this guy went too far, however there are a few things I have learned over the years to help you jget thru this. Make sure you have all pertinent information handy (VS, BSug, meds, etc), then in one long sentence state your concern and what you would like him to order if you know what you want. Then all he has to do is say "that's ok" and hang up. Many times you already know what needs to be done, so just suggest it to him. Make it as easy for him as possible. There are a few docs who will not do anything you suggest because they don't like being told what to do, but most just want you to say what you want and get it over with. Then, you have your orders and have covered yourself by advising him of the situation as well. Not all calls are this simple, but a lot of them are.

1bigmedicRN · May 14, 2014

I have to agree with everyone else, and say he needs to be reported. I have dealt with many different Dr's over the years and supervisors who didn't want to do anything about it. I like to mention and make a written report, that the physician is making a hostile work environment. Why? Because if the employer doesn't due anything about it is a sueable case. And I would also make sure that the report stated that the Dr had created an assault (the threat of violence (battery is physical violence)). Good luck.

cdsga · May 14, 2014

I wish I had been the supervisor that night-I'd have called him back and had a meeting with him and his section chief as well as my senior nursing officer and we would have demanded an apology AND recommended further action. No one speaks to my nurses in that way. Don't forget nurses need to stand up for one another, especially new nurses who aren't quite as thick-skinned. There are NO stupid questions and most of the doctors I know will not check their own peers, so we have to ensure that the nurse's focus remains on the patient and not trying to recover from some threatening doctor who definitely has issues beyond what we can control. That type of behavior is not tolerated and must be written up and documented for further reference to substantiate patterns of behavior.