How did it come to this?

sra27 · Jun 3, 2008

I also believe it is time for me to change careers. I'm feeling what can only be described as apathy towards nursing. I do my job well, but I'm only going through the motions, my heart just isn't in it anymore. I started travel nursing a year and a half ago to try and get my passion back, but it just isn't working for me. So now my plan is to continue working until I have all my credit cards paid off. Then when I can afford it, I'm going to go back to school.

gentlegiver, ASN, LPN, RN · Jun 3, 2008

i never thought i would be a victim of burnout. "not me!" i would vehemently proclaim, but here i am. ready to hang my hat, and let my licenses lapse. (granted they are good until 2010 or so.) it feels so strange to be at peace with the prospect of getting out. then my mind wanders to being shut out by other nurses and losing the standing and sense of belonging.

we are after all only human. we see the best and the worst that life is for others and ourselves. tho we separate ourselves emotionally from our patients, are we ever truely separated from them?? dealing with this takes a toll of us, we often try to convince ourselves that we empathise not sympathise, reality is that some do get in and touch us. and after years of nursing, maybe we reach that scarry point where we just can't deal with it anymore, yet we don't want to admit that we can't deal.

i'm a relatively new nurse, only 3 years, but i experienced burnout in my last job (23 years of factory work and i found i hated getting up to go punch in). it's kinda shocking to realise this is what's happening to you. uncharted territory?? definately, awaken your sense of adventure. find a new hobby that will hold your interest until you can cut loose and relax. don't worry, you will not be forgotten by fellow nurses, you will always be one of us.

good luck, prayers going your way.

kakamegamama · Jun 3, 2008

Southernurse--I understand....hang in there....nursing IS a difficult job. If we seek fulfillment in things (such as jobs) things do fail. I have found when I'm low, if I read Scriptures, meditate & pray, I'm able to recover & move on. Life is full of stress, but if we "do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,make our requests known to God, THEN the Peace of God, which passes All understandiing will keep our hearts and minds in C. J.". Not always easy to do, I know, but so worth it when we do. As I said earlier--hang in there. Give yourself, when you have a day off, something for YOU--a good book? A favorite DVD? A favorite soft drink (Oh, a Dr. Pepper sounds really good right now & I can't get them because of where I live)? A baby's smile? A Hug? Something, anything, for YOU. Godspeed & the best!

Southernurse · Jun 5, 2008

Well, it got a little worse. While I was at my assignment, I was asked if I was sleeping when I said I wasn't aware where the client's father was, or that he had left at all. We were standing over the client's bed, and his mother said that. I said "I don't THINK so... I don't pay any attention to what goes on outside this room..." How is this client supposed to feel any confidence in his caregivers when these comments are made? If it were possible, I would have walked out. I give 150% to my patients, and though I don't expect a big parade for doing my job, some perfunctory respect would be nice. In my state of being, hearing that all but cemented my wish to leave nursing altogether. What is the point of sacrificing so much to get through school just to be met with what seems the consensus of all who have an opinion that it is not good enough? "You should be an RN, you need to be Advanced Practice, GNP, well, you're not a doctor, well you're not a specialist." There are days when I feel such pride to be an LPN, then there are days when I feel like respect will never be mine, no matter what I do. I have lost the satisfaction and fulfillment I used to get. It did not matter what anyone else said, I am an LPN with licenses in 3 states. Not that it matters now what anyone says, but without my own feeling of worth, the words are like bullets. I have lost the passion, but I am not feeling lost without it. It is very liberating, which is what seems creepy to me. I appreciate all of your comments, and I must say I am surprised by the support of you all.

kakamegamama · Jun 6, 2008

You know. Southernurse, maybe it WOULD be a good idea for you to see what other types of employment opps are out there for you and give yourself a break from nursing for a while. Sounds like you have a wounded soul & those take a while to recover. Yes, I know employment is a necessity, but maybe a break into a different arena for a while? Hang in there. And---I applaud you for stating your feelings and all---wish more would do that....would probably make us ALL healthier if we did!!!

BradleyRN · Jun 7, 2008

As an LPN and now an RN, I can unequivocally say it is the exact same job. Anybody who suggests otherwise is obviously in the dark and their words should be given no credence.

still~smilin · Jun 7, 2008

there are days when I feel like respect will never be mine, no matter what I do. I have lost the satisfaction and fulfillment I used to get. I have lost the passion, but I am not feeling lost without it. It is very liberating, which is what seems creepy to me.

I don't think it's creepy. That's what recently happened to me, and gave me the nudge to start looking. I've been increasingly frustrated at my workplace and it finally clicked: I'm not happy here because I don't belong here - there's something better out there, and I'm going to find it. The things that made me so mad, well, still make me mad - but then I follow up with a nice spritz of "oh yeah, that's right, I don't care enough about that to stay mad."

I realized I needed a career change and started sorting through things that had made me happy over the years. I defined it in a very open-ended way: "I am ready for what comes next," and started figuring out different exit strategies. Quit today and walk out? Give two weeks notice? Look for work and leave when I've found a new job? Go back to school part time and keep working? Go back to school full time and quit working? One week later, my company laid off 10% of the employees. I didn't get a pink slip, but wished I had. That was when I realized I *had* to start making a plan, a plan for "whatever comes next." Once I saw my working life as a continuum, that it would always have a yesterday, a today, and a tomorrow, as long as every day I did something that reminded me of my goals, inched me closer to my future - I was okay treating it as just a job. A job that takes an intelligent, thoughtful, highly skilled person. A job that I can do while I go to school, and a job that I can hold my head high when I give my notice (several years from now) when I'm ready.

Nurture yourself. Find little things to do that replenish your spirit. For me, it's listening to music. Ten minutes of dorky dancing to 80s tunes will refill my well of happiness for a very long time. Two minutes of peacefully listening to my favorite classical music will erase every bit of tension and stress. Take care of yourself. Rest, diet, exercise... you know what you need to do to keep healthy.

I've been a big fan of the career/self-help/encouragement type of books Barbara Sher writes: "It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now" and "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was." For a great perspective on your income, "Your Money or Your Life" by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin. And for whenever I need a little motivation, there's a TON of inspirational quotes out there: http://successnet.org/library2.htm

I wish you the best future you can create for yourself! :loveya:

Southernurse · Jun 10, 2008

i want to thank you all for the words of support! my doctor has given me a speech as well, and has offered to mentor me through school, and that starting from scratch is not a bad thing. he is determined to see me through this, and that it is for the greater good, and that the nurses we have are too valuable to lose. the unity and community all of you have shown me has even greater value. i think as nurses, we all have a "touch of destiny" that few professions have simply by the sheer numbers of those we care for. we have patients, their families, friends, and we affect many lives. that is both a burden and a gift. the responsibility is vast. it would not be fair to those we serve if the apathy was too strong. maybe going part time while being in school will be the right combination. i need to acquire the balance or i will be selling clam chowder to tourists in t-shirts.:tku::rcgtku:

nursecoachUK · Jun 12, 2008

I had this 12 years ago - I was burned out and fed up although I had always loved nursing. I resigned from my job, did agency nursing in the UK, travelled, studied performing arts and then life coaching.

After 5 years I went back to paeds nursing and really enjoyed it for 3 years as I knew I had returned by choice.

I now nurse some of the time, but am also a life coach for nurses in the UK.

Nurses have lots of skills that can be used in many different areas, but perhaps you need some time out and a rest to think about what you really want for your life. It worked for me!

Claire