Hospital Nurses

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Nov 17, 2002

Mario, some people are just bitter, and it isn't limited to nursing.

Just make a little calender of the days you have to work at this place and start a countdown til it's over. When it is, you won't have to deal w them again, at least until next semester.

They are not worth even wondering about. When they are nasty, just smile sweetly and give them the answer they want to hear. They want to be superior, so give them the illusion, and it will make your life easier. Now, once you graduate, you will be free to express yourself better, but for now, just bite the bullet and do what you have to do get thru school.

Youda · Nov 17, 2002

Mario, I feel for you. This kind of behavior is nasty to deal with. Freezing someone out and giving them a tongue-lashing is bad behavior. It doesn't have anything to do with nursing, it shows up everywhere.

I think the first thing I would do is to talk to the ones who are giving you the freeze to ask if you have done something to offend them. That just opens a dialogue. What you did to offend them, if you did anything at all, may be more in their insecurity than something you actually did. People often "hate" someone who reminds them of how they SHOULD be or has more talents and knowledge than they have. If they were really secure in who they are, and what they know, then they wouldn't stoop to such behavior. Anyway, you approaching the freezer, may help clear the air. If they won't talk to you or you meet a lot of resistance, then try to find someone impartial. Ask them if they would just sit in while the freezer and you try to get the problem cleared up.

If they continue to be nasty, and freezing you out, after you've tried to find out where their problem is, then you will just have to understand that this is a kind of game people play. It's suppose to make you feel invalidated and worthless, to make you feel bad about yourself so they can feel better. The best revenge, is to remember that you are a person of worth who deserves to be here, and if your presence offends them, they can leave, but you won't.

{{{{{{{{Mario}}}}}}}}

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 17, 2002

Sometimes I've seen nurses in different fields act snooty to each other: hospital nurses think they are better than home health or LTC nurses, Critical Care nureses are better than med-surg nureses.

It's upsetting that there is sometimes no mutual respect when you are trying to get a job done. Just let it roll off you, but demand to be heard and treated with respect when you need sometime done, or information pertinent to taking care of the patient.

Also, remember how you feel, and treat students and new nurses, and other nurses with the same respect you want shown to you.

End of lecture. LOL. Sorry if there are typos (which I'm known to make a lot). (shhh...I'm sneaking on the computer at work on my break).

mario_ragucci · Nov 17, 2002

Thank you everyone. Yall have some great advice and information which has reduced my mental stress about this. I will remember ALL of the things you say.

I should have looked in the chart myself.

Don't let a "freeze" throw me. If another person snubs me, let it be. I should know myself enough at 37 not to let a single scenario cause self-doubt.

The way I would accomadate a SN is not the way others can. Not everyone can communicate well, just set an example, but don't expect it. [coincidently, where I work as a CNA, I just got an official commendation from the hospital for being an excellent CNA to the student nurses who were on my floor for the past weeks. Sometimes, I don't know.]

Complete the NS requirements and pass the NCLEX. Whats the big deal? Nursing school is not forever, just 2 years. Learn, and develop stronger resistance to verbal assults that are professional and disarming.

Try to keep a low profile anywhere as a student. Don't be a zombie, but don't show personality either. Be sterile and professional. Sterile of chit-chat. You know it don't have to be like that, but thats the way it is right now, and you can do w/o the senseless mental confusion r/t ASSUMED GUILT (AEB) carrying on about it. Save your mental power for cardio, meds, injections and pharmocology, you fool. :-)

Let this be the last time I mention clinical events to my co-workers, who know all about at, and may not want to have "flash-backs" from their own experiences in nursing school, causing PTSD to become active.

What would I do w/o allnurses.com?

micro, RN · Nov 17, 2002

you got it :)

...........................

Youda · Nov 17, 2002

Originally posted by mario_ragucci
What would I do w/o allnurses.com?

Allnurses has such good, supportive people here! Someone is always awake if you need to talk! (Glad I'm not the only night owl). There's nasty people everywhere you go, Mario. I've had to learn (am still learning) how to deal with them. The thing that has helped me the most is to realize that their nastiness either comes from burn-out, stress, or such terrible insecurity that they actually admire me, but have to tear me down so they keep their own self-esteem. My Mom used to tell me, "They're just jealous of you" but I couldn't believe that anyone could be jealous of ME! But, by the time you get on the backslide of 40, you learn that that is exactly what's going on. In a perverted sort of way, when someone gives you crap, it's a compliment, because they see something in you that they wish they had themselves. Another thing I've realized is that when people give you crap about something, they are usually PROJECTING their own doubts onto you. So, if they call you stupid, just for an example, it's because they fear that THEY are stupid, and them calling you stupid has nothing to do with you, just that they are telling you what THEIR worse fear is about THEMSELVES. Understand?

Hold your head up high, and don't ever let ANYone make you feel small, because you aren't !! No one is.

kimmicoobug · Nov 17, 2002

Hey Mario. Understanding you here. I was told this week at my OB rotation that I wasn't wanted there at that unit after graduation because I was a "nipple nazi". I just said I was very gung ho about breastfeeding my own children and that I really advocate breastfeeding. She said it offhandedly, but I did take offense and thought, "well maybe I don't want to work here if they don't feel so strongly about supporting moms who want to BF. Needless to say, this comment is pretty mild compared to some I have gotten. Maybe these nurses we have to encounter don't feel it necessary to be overly nice because they know that a good portion will NOT be nurses and make it through the program. Whatever the case, be professional, and don't let them intimidate you. I had this experience in the past few weeks, and it is not working together as an interdisciplinary team with patient care and safety in mind. For the most part, I have been lucky. Most of the nurses I have worked with are great with students and see them as future co-workers instead of an extra workload. Good luck.

Lisa Punch · Nov 17, 2002

Mario, You and I have had conversations about this aspect of nursing, many times. The two things that you should remember are that no nurse is going to care that you are a nursing student and wanting to learn. And that you have a very confident personality, that makes you intimidating to many nurses who have too little self esteem to appreciate the fact that you are a confident and well educated man to start with. You had a life and a confidence before you started nursing school, it will always serve you well. Keep your chin up and don't worry about the narrow minded nurses that don't enjoy the fun of sharing with you. Also, if you need to *****, come up to 4w and I'll buy the coffee..............Lisa:)

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Nov 17, 2002

Exactly! Make nice to the meanies, come here to vent! Sometimes you still get a beating here too, but if you put a whining warning, it helps! :)

PS Congrats on the commendation, far cry from where you were with this place a few months ago, huh?

Pretzlgl · Nov 17, 2002

LOL on the PTSD Mario!

Flo1216 · Nov 17, 2002

I have to say that in my 3 years so far as a student, the majority of the staff nurses have not been receptive to students. And I do my clinicals at large teaching hospitals, so you think they would be more accomodating to students. I guess they forget the they have all been students at one point. When we leave the floor we always have to report to the RN assigned to that patient and we are lucky if they even acknowledge us,yet if something goes wrong we are the ones who get blamed. The other day I was assigned to SICU and when my instructor introduced me to the nurse she rolled her eyes and whined, " I have a student today?" She then proceeded to ignore me for the entire day and I learned absolutely nothing. I even tried asking questions and got one word answers. I don't lose sleep over it, but I have to say, it really sucks sometimes. It is so hard to find a good mentor nowadays...no one wants to be bothered. But then when new grads start working,the nurses that treated them like shit ***** about how new grads don't know anything. (sigh)

mario_ragucci · Nov 17, 2002

Thank you all again so much for being here. Yall have saved my limbic.sys more than once, and it means a great deal to me.

Fear of the unknown is what gets me too. Like, when the verbal exchange ended, I asked the person if they were going to further things in written form. Thats straight up fear. Fear of not knowing to what extent another will go to make your life miserable because of jealousy or whatever. How can you protect yourself from having another who "just doesn't like you" acting on their non-verbal dislike? Sometimes i want to note to a third party when this is encountered. Not in a critical way, absolutely not. But to promote an understanding toward improvement.

And I thank you again for this forum.