DH dying-need prayers

Specialties Hospice

Published

I've posted before about my husband being terminally ill and complications that have come up, but this is the worst it has every been. Currently in ICU with ARDS and sepsis, placed on dialysis yesterday. On a vent, paralytic, the whole works.

Miraculously he has been showing signs of improvement. CXR went from a complete white out to having distinguishable upper lobes, heart, ET. That was amazing. Has been running a PEEP of 20. Went in this morning to a stunned looking pulmonologist telling me that the lungs are regaining some elasticity so they got the PEEP down to 8. (PTL!)

I have been glued to his bedside but am home tonight as I had nobody to take care of our 5 year old. Besides she is desperate for some mommy time and vice versa. I was actually sleeping peacefully and his brother called and woke me up. Couldn't go back to sleep and felt God telling me to get on here and get as many prayers as possible going so that dh can get over the hump. My brother in law is an atheist but I continue to witness to him about God in my life and God's ability to heal if it is in his will.

Please, all you that can pray, please help me out on this one. His name is Dan and I love him more than anything. He had not made a decision for the Lord before he was intubated so that is a big reason for wanting him to wake up and have one more chance.

Thanks in advance to all. You guys are wonderful support.

oh joey, i really don't think the doctors will be the most reliable sources to get your husband transferred.

why not call social services of the other facility, explain the entire dilemma including who you've spoken with....perhaps ss will facilitate the transfer. you don't need your dh's doctor's discharge papers-sign him out ama if need be, as long as he's guaranteed a bed at the other hospital.

did you agree to comfort care?

if so, does he seem comfortable?

you're a warrior and an inspiration.

pm me anytime, anytime at all.

and our prayers continue....

leslie xo

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Ok, I'm discouraged now. I've just spent an hour on the phone crying with my best friend (closest thing I've got to a mom) and my pastor. I feel like I've hit a brick wall. I had called one of the ICU nurses here and she says that there is no way that they will take him back here. There is no nursing home around here that will take vent patients. My only choice (unless God intervenes) is to leave him there or make him a hospice patient. I don't feel like I can do hospice (even though I am a hospice volunteer and plan to be a hospice nurse someday) because that is not what DH wanted and I feel strongly about me deciding to stop the vent and the levophed. If God wants to take him, then he can make that happen without me having to speed up the process. That stupid lady today asked me the dumbest questions. Why wasn't I in tears every minute of the day? How can I handle this without having any family support? How old am I? (I look at least 10 years younger than I am). I just looked at her and said HOW OLD ARE YOU. Then when I told her that I survive because I have an unshakable faith in God, she asked me if I was expecting a miracle? (Like I was delusional or in denial). I told her that I ALWAYS expect a miracle and that I pray for a miracle, but also remain realistic and prepare for the worst. But just between me and you guys, I feel like we have been on the receiving end of so many miracles that this just can't be the end. If this is the end, why did we get all the other miracles? I'm just so frustrated because my whole existance is wrapped up in this. If he lives, I continue the roller coaster ride, and continue to be poor because I can't start working now when he is so unstable and because I had to apply for Medicaid to cover all that Medicare doesn't. But if he dies, a huge part of me dies too. I'm going to be so lonely without him. No one has ever loved me or belived in me like he does. I'm just so sad and frustrated and he's an hour away. It just stinks. And I don't know what to do.

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PS...social services here was closed by the time I got around to them. And also, one good thing...the one nurse that I like, that does everything by the book and treats Dan as a person, is working tonight. And he promises to call me at the slightest hint of trouble.

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i don't think the icu nurse is in any position to determine whether they will take your husband.:angryfire it is not her decision.

if push comes to shove, just continue to closely monitor his care; ask questions, demand answers and let them all know you mean business.

and joey, i am a hospice nurse. it is not uncommon to see an improvement in a pt's status, even if it is temporary. i am so very sorry you are doing this alone. much luck in contacting social services at the other hospital in the a.m. i'll be thinking of you.

as always,

leslie xo

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Joey,

I am so, so very sorry for what you are going through. My prayers are with you. You know that poem "Footprints?" Well, right now is one of those times you need Jesus to carry you.

Lori

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, Home Health, Oncology.

Nursejoey

I am just so sorry for your situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I keep thinking about you and your family. I especially feel so bad for your DD. I wish there was more we could do for you here.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))).

Just know that my thoughts are with you.

Mary Ann

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Specializes in Home Health, Hospice.

:icon_hug: :icon_hug: and more :icon_hug: Joey. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You're not in this completely alone - we're all here for you. Stay strong and don't let anyone talk you into doing something you don't want.

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Specializes in Public Health, DEI.
I started in first thing this morning with the case manager. Tried to keep it polite but told her if they weren't going to cooperate with me. I had plenty to report. That sent her scurrying. But she came back with the Corporate Director of Case Management. She wants to switch him to comfort measures and do all she can to support me. I said that all they can do for me is to send him back to town. They are going to write some people up for the things that I mentioned. Whoopee! I told her that nurses know the right way to do things and nurses know when they do it wrong, just like things magically are perfect when State is in the house. Told her that they need to operate every day as if state was in the house. You know very good and well that they will write up the people (if they even do) and tell them that they are doing it to pacify a family complaint. That doesn't change anything for dh or any other patient. So it was left that the doctor there would call the doctor here and see IF the doc here would take him back. SO I called the doc here and told his nurse that the other doc would call and then told her my side of the story. Because no idea what that doc will say. But the doc here knows that I have a good grip on the harsh reality of the situation and he knows I'm truthful. Well, come to find out, the doc never called the doc here. (Imagine that.) So I think my kid is missing school tomorrow, we're going to head back there and spend the night, and come tomorrow morning, I'm calling State with my complaints and the fact that they are holding my dh hostage against my wishes.

I would also call your legislators. It is amazing what a call from their office can do. Some are much more responsive than others, but it's worth a try. Best wishes.

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Joey, tears are not a bad thing. Jesus wept. It's a good escape valve. Like a tea kettle letting off steam before it explodes. They say that you can't have a testamony without a test. Honey, you're going to have one heck of a testamony! You've seen the miracles so try to keep faith. I know it's easier said than done but you've got a lot of prayer warriors bombarding the throne of grace with prayer. You're a strong lady even if you don't feel like it sometimes. Take it moment by moment. In this moment you have your dh with you to love and hold. Sound like I've been there? I have. That's the reason I can share this part of my testamony with you. You will make it! God will make a way! Keep up the fight as others have suggested. Don't do AMA without first checking out how it might effect your insurance 'cause you'll still need that, for sure. Make as big of a fuss/threat as you need to to get the care your dh needs and deserves. We love you Joey. I'll continue to keep you all in prayer.

Marilyn

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Any one else just want to jump in the car and go to give a hand with anything possible? I may not post every day, but I'm checking and praying all the time.

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Specializes in pure and simple psych.
Any one else just want to jump in the car and go to give a hand with anything possible? I may not post every day, but I'm checking and praying all the time.

Oh, yes. Deepest gold-white light be with you.:icon_hug:

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hi sweetie, :kiss

haven't heard from you today but wanted to let you know i've been thinking of you, and pray you have accomplished what you set out to do. also continue to pray for the comfort of your dh and your precious dd.

leslie xo

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