since tweety, marla, silverdragon102, thecommuter, and arwen_u, my co-staff, bared their hearts...i can do no less. my first smoke, or taste, was when i was in the first grade...by my alcoholic stepfather. i began smoking as a habit since my sixth grade...allowed to smoke openly in the house during my 8th grade. everyone in my family smoked. in my family, being of appalachian descent, smoking never batted an eye. folks who did not smoke were more of the exception to the rule. it was a way of life...if not a rite of passage...like getting one's driver's license. i have quit many a times and started back up many a times during my life. my biggest run of sobriety was for 6 years, but i ended up falling off the wagon, er...cigarette truck due to stress...it's in my bio story (bio link). personally, i love to smoke...but i know as a nurse that it is not good for me. i hate the way my clothes and apartment smells when i do. i hate the amount of monies wasted on it. cancer in our family is unheard of, on either side...so the fear of cancer never ever came to me as a concern....and they all smoked like chimneys, living to their elder days. good genes, i guess. i don't deny the risk of cancer...but, it doesn't seem real to me growing up in the family i did. cold turkey was the best way for me many times. i even tried chantix once....which was very helpful then. something that i may again try real soon....for the withdrawals (very real) were nonexistant for me. i look forward to reading others' successes, as well as their struggles, with smoking and other addictions. it gives hope. unless one has been hooked on a substance, it makes it hard to be empathetic to one who is...i know this...so i try to be patient and understanding to those who do not know/have experienced it for themselves.
yes...i will think about the chantix once again. maybe it is time once more.
i have been smoking since i was in 7th grade. i did it because someone told me it would help me stay skinny. now i can't stop. i am also a recovering anorexic/bulimic, and i am scared to death if i quit smoking i will gain alot of weight. i know how stupid that sounds, i really do. i am ashamed.
i don't enjoy smoking. i don't think i ever did. i hate the taste and i hate the smell. i hate how my nails are yellow and i hate how my teeth are stained.
but i hate the person i am when i am not smoking, because that person is anxious, crabby and hungry. my relationship with cigarettes is very ambivalent.
i have tried patches, gums, lozenges, hypnosis, laser treatment, etc. my last resort is chantix. i am waiting until graduation though so i have the extra cash becasue it is sooo expensive.
thank you to thunderwolf for starting this thread, and keep up the good work!! i hope we can all help each other stomp out our smoking habit.
i was just reading this thread and found this post i made from last year.
i am proud to say that after i wrote this post, i quit. i have been smoke free for over a year.
god bless all of you that are trying to kick the habit. it's very hard, but you can do it. i'm so glad i did.
Unfortunately I have been a smoker for almost 19 years. At this point I have given up on quitting and have resigned myself to the future and death that it is going to bring.
Thankfully I have no fear of that so...
I still remember days when I was younger and had enough money for food OR a pack of smokes and every time I chose cigarettes.
I have discovered that I haven't been able to quit because I've never truly wanted to quit. I feel the smoking is really just a symptom of a larger issue.
In any case I've gotten into the habit of telling people that "No, I am not a smoker. I am merely someone paying into the 'suicide by layaway' plan."
I'm also not embarrassed by my smoking whilst being in this field. I actually find it a mark of strength that I can pour so much caring into other people while being such an uncaring person.
Unfortunately I have been a smoker for almost 19 years. At this point I have given up on quitting and have resigned myself to the future and death that it is going to bring.
Thankfully I have no fear of that so...
I still remember days when I was younger and had enough money for food OR a pack of smokes and every time I chose cigarettes.
I have discovered that I haven't been able to quit because I've never truly wanted to quit. I feel the smoking is really just a symptom of a larger issue.
In any case I've gotten into the habit of telling people that "No, I am not a smoker. I am merely someone paying into the 'suicide by layaway' plan."
I'm also not embarrassed by my smoking whilst being in this field. I actually find it a mark of strength that I can pour so much caring into other people while being such an uncaring person.
i bolded that statement because i think that was very true for me as well. i never wanted to quit because i associated not smoking with me getting fat.... and yes, i did gain weight since i've quit, but i feel better overall! it was like the last peice of my eating disorder that i held on to.
when my doctor told me that i had a possible mass in my lung, i put those cigarettes down and never went back (thank god it wasn't cancer--it was a big hunk of scar tissue from smoking so much with asthma). quitting was horrible, and i was mean and nasty for about a week, so anxious i couldn't hold anything without dropping it..... but it took me really wanting to and needing to quit for it to happen. i was scared cigaretteless.
now, just the smell makes me nauseated. i make JB go outside and brush his teeth before he comes near me. that was a huge revelation-i was like omg, i can't believe how nasty i smelled.
and stanley, you are a caring person. i do not believe otherwise. :)
i bolded that statement because i think that was very true for me as well. i never wanted to quit because i associated not smoking with me getting fat.... and yes, i did gain weight since i've quit, but i feel better overall! it was like the last peice of my eating disorder that i held on to.
I'm not worried about gaining weight or anything. Mostly, smoking makes me feel good. I've staved of many a depressive mood with a combination of nicotine and caffeine. I DO fear that losing the cigarettes and other uppers will bring on a crazy roller coaster ride with my BP since it's not to stable WITH the medicines.
and stanley, you are a caring person. i do not believe otherwise. :)
I meant uncaring personally. As in when it comes to me I could not care any less.
I find the dichotomy between the extreme uncaring for myself and the extreme caring for (certain) others quite interesting.
Allison - good for you. I know I would struggle with it too and am so very grateful that I never even tried cigs.
The reason I know I would struggle is because I love food and have a hard time losing weight. (Just got back from eating at our local Mexican place where I had the Wet Chicken Burrito).
We have had a bunch of lung cancer patients recently in hospice . . .our last admit is a very nice man in his 60's who initially seemed pretty healthy. Got SOB with exertion. But my visit last week showed me that he is worsening fast. He cannot even talk w/o getting very SOB.
My husband uses Copenhagen too . . He quit for 5 years and then started up again. He did it cold turkey the last time - but if he ever wants to try to quit again, I'm getting him Zyban (Wellbutrin) . . because he was a mean SOB.
i really want to bring this thread back. i'm a 20yr smoker and i don't want to quit. i like smoking. but as many of you have stated, it's a bad, disgusting habit. i've been trucking along with my pre-req's for a little over a year now and took a break to become a cna. i plan to work at the hospital as a tech while i go to ns.
i got my first taste of shame during cna clinicals at a ltcf, where i was "called out" by my preceptor and then asked to not smoke while driving to clinicals or during break, which had to be off property as well.
i just know that the further along i go through school and work, the more i will be ashamed of my addiction. i think i can survive a 12 hr shift w/o a smoke just as long as i get to smoke 1/2 a pack on my way in. 1mg of nicotine per cigarette.
does anyone else get flack for being a smoker from the people you work with or your classmates?
i have known some males that wipe themselves with alcohol swabs and that seems to work. i use fabreze or a citrus based spray, along with some potent gum (artic chill)-coworkers have said that they cannot tell that i smoke and thought i was literal whenever i said i would be back in 5 minutes because i need a breathing treatment.
I actually used the alcohol wipes during PCT clinicals because I just happened to have them in my pocket! lol Those things end up everywhere. But yea, it does take the smell off my fingers. That's my biggest gripe, I may be a smoker, but I don't want to stink at work. And no guys, I won't be quitting anytime soon. NS is gonna be tough. If anything, I know that I have for sure cut down a lot and hopefully when I start working 12 hr shifts, I will cut down even more.
Specializes in Cardiac, Hospice, Float pool, Med/Peds.
I love to smoke... I am not ready to quit and just find it relaxing to me... Someday I will be ready and then I can do it... I just enjoy it too much... At 34, I still cannot smoke in front of my parents because I am ashamed of it... I wish there was not such a stigma attached to it, but there is and as a RN, I should know better... I do know MD's who smoke and I am sure that they feel the same way...
I love to smoke... I am not ready to quit and just find it relaxing to me... Someday I will be ready and then I can do it... I just enjoy it too much... At 34, I still cannot smoke in front of my parents because I am ashamed of it... I wish there was not such a stigma attached to it, but there is and as a RN, I should know better... I do know MD's who smoke and I am sure that they feel the same way...
Back when I started smoking, there was no stigma. Let me show you some things I grew up with:
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[YOUTUBE]690HqDSBRVs[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]gCMzjJjuxQI[/YOUTUBE]
And, if anyone is thinking that I am condoning this, please look at this one:
[YOUTUBE]zgLPaKhUaSw[/YOUTUBE]
I am just trying to show how cigarettes were viewed in an earlier culture and why there are so many baby boomers that have the habit/addiction. This transitional view of cigatettes has not been addressed-something that was acceptable, is now evil. Makes it very hard on those that started before the stigma took place.
Ninja Nurse, ASN
204 Posts
Yea I know that I won't be able to quit if I truly don't want to. Just ashamed I'm in this field and a smoker.