HELP

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Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med-surg.

i have been doing private care for 18 mos, and it was fine at first, but now i am afraid for my license. my client is an adult, and the mother is a primary caregiver. i was accused of "drowning" him by giving him the ordered amount of water with his med pass. there is a lot of suctioning, and high residuals with the peg. the parent will cut the water before the tf, and it is a big disagreement. the parent is very distrustful of everyone in and out of the household. also very litigious. i am scared to death that any accusations the parent makes will be given merit, as everyone who is in contact with the parent is intimidated, from the md to the office personel. i was told by this parent not to finish my lpn to rn program because it would possibly interfere with my hours. my life cannot center around the client. i have a family of my own and have been trying to complete my rn for 9 years, giving it up for my own family's needs (sick infant) or needing to work. i am in a position to better my title and make more money now. the parent's litigiousness and ordering me not to finish school have given me insight to the mental status of the parent. a family member said it best when it was stated that the parent treats the dogs like people and the people like dogs. i feel trapped. there is only one other nurse to cover 12 hr shifts 7 days a week. this has also only been lately. i was the only nurse for months. there was pure venom before the day off and on the day i returned. vent .

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The only person who traps you is you. If you value your license, leave and leave now. The third sentence of your post convinced me.

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Private Duty Peds.

Sounds like you really need to leave this position! If you are so afraid of losing your licenses and things are that bad, leave and leave NOW!!

It must tell you someting about this PCG if only one nurse will accept the client. Doing 12hrs 6 days a week = burn-out!

Give your proper notice and get gone!

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Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med-surg.

you are absolutely right! i have thought about it, and i am afraid that the parent will in some way come up with a way to accuse me of abandonment if i leave. i am losing my own mind now, because i have to be ocd perfect 200% of the time. if i am doing one thing, i am supposed to be doing another.

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Abandonment can only be a factor if you accept your patient for a shift and then take off without being properly relieved. If you were to call the lady tonight and tell her that you won't be there tomorrow, you have not abandoned your patient. Don't let the client's family pull anything over on you. Sounds like they have used emotional blackmail for far too long as it is.

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I found out with private duty a great number of the family members will turn on you, stab you in the back and quite frankly don't give a hoot about you period. They will use you until you are all used up. They get rid of you for whatever reason they claim (because they have the power & many thrive on it), and of coorifice will claim they are innocent victims. Who knows what they realy do when you are not there.

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Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med-surg.

i don't know why at my age i still turn to others who can empathize with me to help make a decision. i was the only nurse for that many months because the parent "cleaned house" and i was the only nurse left. the red flags were practically neon-lit. i will not keep you responsible in any way ( i have to say that this day and age-we all make our own decisions) but my gut is screaming that i leave. i can go on for hours with the list of items that have been so wrong in that house! i will call them tomorrow and end this. i will pm you with another detail i will not publicly post. even if you don't answer, if you only read, i will feel better. god! can you tell i have been agonizing for too long? i pray every day before i get out of my explorer to god that he guides my head, my heart, my mouth, and my hands. it sounds melodramatic, but i cannot do this anymore. i used to love being a nurse and never dreaded getting up in the morning and going to work! i have to follow my gut and your confirmation. thank you!

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I found out with private duty a great number of the family members will turn on you, stab you in the back and quite frankly don't give a hoot about you period. They will use you until you are all used up. They get rid of you for whatever reason they claim (because they have the power & many thrive on it), and of coorifice will claim they are innocent victims. Who knows what they realy do when you are not there.

This is why I now avoid private duty. My private duty client's family thought they owned me. To Hades with my other clients and employers. The sad thing is that this is the same attitude displayed by client families that still use agencies to obtain their nurses. They get a wild idea, call the agency and accuse the nurse of bs, and the nurse develops a bad rep with the agency over a lie or several lies. It gets very debilitating over time.:o

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Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med-surg.

shoot...over time???? this may sound cruel, but i have a good idea of what house slaves went through in the war between the states. nothing is good enough, nothing is clean enough, and there aren't enough hours/days worked. i have become ocd, paranoid, and have had my chemistry completely but hopefully not permanently changed. it has even affected my marriage, making me suspicious where i needn't be. boy howdy, just typing this out and reading it has really made it come to a frighteningly bright light.

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Putting it in writing does seem to shed some light on the situation. Especially when you get feedback from third parties. Good luck with getting out of there. Take a vacation after you quit this case.

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Specializes in cardiac, ortho, med-surg.

miss otter, my first vacation ever is at the end of may, and is of all things a family reunion. thank god for that! i am ready to cry my eyes out. i have bent over backwards for these clients and my family benfitted from the paycheck, but that is the only way anyone won. i feel the parent will alienate everyone from the case and take a sick martyr role that the parent is the only one who cares about the client's welfare, which is deeply untrue. the spiral has started.

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The victim complex is common with families and nurses have to be careful not to get caught up in it for the sake of their own mental health.

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