HELP Resident calling baby "stupid" What to do!!!??

HealthShepherd · Oct 30, 2009

I'm a NICU nurse, and honestly, I don't see any problem with swearing or name-calling as long as there are no parents in possible earshot. Babies don't understand English, and it doesn't do them any harm to blow off steam verbally.

Having said that, I do believe that babies understand tone; so when I explain to them that I'm going to feed them to wolves if they don't stop pulling out their NG tubes, I keep my tone of voice gentle.

Galore · Oct 30, 2009

I'm a NICU nurse too and when I saw the title of the thread I though maybe there was some over-reacting going on. Some of our patients can be very trying and we may have to deal with them for several months, so it's common for a doc or nurse to use dark humor to cope and we may joke about the babies' little quirks or shortcomings. However, I don't think there's any place for cursing in the workplace and that was unprofessional.

I agree with above poster - maybe try confronting her first and pointing out that it's inappropriate to use that language.

Whispera, MSN, RN · Oct 30, 2009

How about saying to the resident, "wow, that wasn't very nice to say." Then if she acts like a twit again, you go up the chain of command. It could be she has no idea how her words come across.

CeilingCat, ASN, RN · Oct 30, 2009

If you want sympathy for having to deal with someone who namecalls, you may not want to do the same: "the blonde tomboy female resident" wasn't really necessarily.

Did the resident say this TO the baby? Or to a coworker, away from the baby's area?

To those outraged : would you be this outraged if instead the resident was talking about a grumpy old man?

I agree that in a perfect world she shouldn't use profanity, but some profanity seems to be acceptable (as long as patients don't hear it). You can report her if you really feel this is a horrible crime. Maybe I'm crazy but I don't. If your supervisor tends to think more like I do, it might hurt you if later a serious thing happens & you need the supervisors to back you up -- the whole boy-who-cried-wolf problem. Your resident wouldn't be the first doctor who acted a bit unprofessional. You wouldn't believe the odd (inappropriate, rude, and bizarre) things I hear doctors say just before they go into the room.

SnoopysAunt · Oct 30, 2009

I would agree with some of the more recent posters. It might not be appropriate to say in front of parents, but maybe this is her coping mechanism. Confront her first. Without doing so you are just going to create drama that is not necessary.

mesa1979, BSN, RN · Oct 30, 2009

I'm a NICU nurse, and honestly, I don't see any problem with swearing or name-calling as long as there are no parents in possible earshot. Babies don't understand English, and it doesn't do them any harm to blow off steam verbally.
Having said that, I do believe that babies understand tone; so when I explain to them that I'm going to feed them to wolves if they don't stop pulling out their NG tubes, I keep my tone of voice gentle.

If you don't like kids and crying, DON'T WORK IN THAT SPECIALITY!!!!!:angryfire and yes I would be upset even if it was an older person the resident was speaking of......go outside take a smoke, take a day off or something!

allnurses Guide · Oct 30, 2009

Please could I remind all members to post respectfully and refrain from personal attacks

thanks

burberrylover · Oct 30, 2009

It makes me sad that some of you take care of our most vulnerable patients:(

burberrylover · Oct 30, 2009

I would agree with some of the more recent posters. It might not be appropriate to say in front of parents, but maybe this is her coping mechanism. Confront her first. Without doing so you are just going to create drama that is not necessary.

I think that there are better coping mechanisms than to swear at a baby:(

mcleanl · Oct 30, 2009

Before you run off to this woman's superior, why don't you take a step back and try to give her the benefit of the doubt first instead of jumping to conclusions (and I don't care if someone else told you that she does this sort of thing "all the time" - people have their own definition of what that means).
Have you tried talking with her about it face to face? Maybe she doesn't realize that she is offensive and acting unprofessionally. It's possible that she's just doing this to blow off steam and doesn't truly mean what she's saying.
If no one has ever brought it to her attention that they find what she's saying wrong, then their collective silence has validated her words, and she might think that she's speaking for EVERYONE'S thoughts when she says mean things.
I know that we all get stressed out, we all get impatient and frustrated. I'm quite sure that at some point in time, we ALL have thoughts along these same lines, maybe not towards an innocent child, but perhaps towards a combative drunk, a lazy coworker, or even just a plain old disgusting patient (you know the kind). The difference with the resident is that she is taking her thoughts one step further and saying them out loud. Maybe what she really means is that the treatments are f-ing stupid, the parents are frustrating, the diagnosis is heartbreaking, she is tired and hungry, she doesn't want to be saddled with this patient, she feels overwhelmed and stressed out. It could be anything, and it probably has nothing to do with the kid.
Before you go starting a bunch of needless drama, act like a grownup and politely confront the resident yourself. Talk WITH her. Ask her why she says things so harshly. Let her know that you don't approve of it. You might be surprised by what you find out. If not, or if the situation doesn't improve, THEN you can think about going over her head. But first, give her a chance to correct her own mistakes without getting a million other people involved in something that could be nipped in the bud right away.

This is fantastic advice and the type of common sense that every professional should be using.

Miss Chybil RN, BSN, RN · Oct 30, 2009

Every time I read things like this I get shocked first by the alleged behavior and then the defenses that follow. Doctors and nurses are professionals and this is in no way professional behavior. Period.

"Stupid baby" and "f'ng" baby may mean, "I'm so frustrated I'm not able to find the answer to this baby's problem." But, even if that's the case, this resident and anyone else who believes it's appropriate to verbalize their feelings in such an inappropriate manner should be called on it - to their face. If that doesn't remedy the situation, then the chain of command should be utilized.

Saying this kind of behavior is alright as long as the baby doesn't understand, or as long as the parents aren't around, negates the effect this language has on the self and those hearing it and is a sure set-up for the day they do understand or the parents are around. Get comfortable with this kind of language and one day someone will slip and someone else will be devastated.

HealthShepherd · Oct 30, 2009

Re: "It makes me sad that some of you take care of our most vulnerable patients"

In that case, let me urge you never to walk through a NICU in the middle of night when all the parents are gone, or you'll hear plenty of horrifying discussions of which babies are annoying, or ugly, or are probably going to die, or have funny-looking memberes.

And while babies may be vulnerable to infection or hypothermia or dehydration, they're not vulnerable to being called stupid, because it doesn't mean anything to them.