Help, I've got a crush!

[eb2esrun]

This far I have never even had the thought of crossing a boundary with a patient or family member. However, I have grown very fond of a family of a patient that I have been taking care of this past week. The patient's sister gave me her business card, and since I did not see her today I sent her an email thanking her for allowing me, as a student to take care of her brother while in the ICU. I also told her that since I did not have the son's contact information, to please thank him for me. She responded with his phone number and told me that he would be excited to hear from me. What do I do? I have a crush on the son, and have been pondering crossing that boundary. Has anyone ever been put in this situation? If so, what did you do? This afterall is not the patient, but the son of the patient...

Thanks everyone in advance for your input.

[JROregon, ASN, BSN, RN]

One of the coolest things about being a nurse is the families you get to me and spend time with during the course of a loved one's medical problem. The nurse gets a very intimate view of the family that most people will never see. Families are placing a great deal of trust in you and to try to take something for yourself would be taking advantage of the situation. You will have many more special and amazing patients and their families in your future. Try to keep the relationships light and therapeutic.

[Rimzy]

Oooh, I mean i don't know much about this since i am still in pre-nursing, but ethically it seems "not right".

[criticalRN10]

I say if your instructor doesn't know what the guy looks like and if you use an email account not associated with the school, and of course you aren't taking care of his father/mother anymore, go for it! I don't know if this makes me crazy but it doesn't seem like you're crossing a terrible boundary dating a former patient's son. My cousin who is a nurse actually married the grandson of one of her patients and they now have a kid.

[Birry]

One of the nurses I work with married a former patient she had cared for. I don't know how the relationship came about, but I think it's all in the matter of how you deal with contact.

I think you should not contact the guy. If he for some reason contacts you, that would be different (he may have hit his sister up for your email, or whatever). But you contacting him, under the auspices of professional courtesy but with ulterior motives, seems ethically questionable.

Edit: Just think of a cop or DMV worker using their databases to look up their crushes. It just doesn't pass the smell test.