Help! How do I fix this?

[Burlshoe114]

I am a 5-year RN. Before this I was a CNA. I had a good reputation as a nurse - I had good working relationships, good feedback from doctors, good working relationships with patients, and while I wasn't the "nursiest nurse," I never had anything to be ashamed of. I came to work on time, never picked fights, never had patient complaints that weren't easily resolved.

Then I made the biggest mistake in my career and moved down to the ED. I thought it would be exciting, fun, and a way to become a more desirable nurse.

Instead it was stressful, more than I could handle, and very, very clique-oriented. Some nurses could do what they wanted: surf the internet, say what they wanted, come and go as they wanted, etc, while other nuses (like me!) would sneeze and find a QA had been written. It seemed like every month I was being hauled into my manager's office because someone "perceived" that I was/was not (insert problem here -confident, skillful, fast, organized). I never actually harmed any patients or actually did anything seriously wrong or detremental. These were normal, understandable human things that could happen in the course of a busy day. But it seemed like I was always in the hot seat over minor things. Every day I would come in, work twice as hard as the people around me and be considered half as good. I did this for more than 2 years.

I tried to transfer out of this job, but the new manager would take one look at my demolished employee record and pass me over.

Then a few weekends ago I had a particularly bad weekend and made two med errors. One not serious and one involving Propofol, where the physician was supposed to be in the room, but then suddenly left right before I gave the med he had ordered up and I didn't notice he was gone. The patient was fine, but my manager wasted no time in hauling me directly into HR and letting me know it was either resign or be investigated and fired. I chose to resign on the grounds that I wanted rehire status and my EIB payout, which I have (rehire with limitations).

So how do I fix this? I do have a doctor friend who is letting me volunteer at her free clinic as a clinic nurse until I can find a new job, but who is going to hire me now?

How do I fix this? Every job I apply for wants an employment history, including a recommendation from my last manager - She will not give me one, which I understand, but it isn't like I spent my time being a hiddeous nurse. I honestly did work my butt of for this manager and she admitted it before I left.

While I did make a med error, I do have a lot to offer the nursing community in the way of skills and good patient care.

Any advice?

[dthfytr, ADN, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I]

OK. First, take a deep breathe, let it out and relax. At best, ER nursing isn't for everyone. At worst, well you just came from there. Every new job, every department transfer comes with the risk of a bad fit. That's all that happened here. It seems much worse because you didn't have the support of one of the cliques. Can you get a managers referal from the previous department? Previous co-workers? When you apply for work, tell them the ER position was a mistake, and refer to all the good you've done before that. Sometimes bad things happen to good nurses. Best wishes, and remeber that some day you may find that losing the ER job was the best thing that happened to you.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

Another option is to give written permission for the former manager to discuss your work history with the prospective employer. If you do this you need to be upfront with your errors and don't put emphasis on "me vs. them" or anything that sounds like whining. We have all made errors. Be glad you are out of that environment.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Oh honey, I am so sorry this happened to you. That sucks. You take such a big hit to your self esteem when you are asked to resign, especially since you state that you have been working your fool behind off.

Just out of curiosity, were you preparing to intubate this pt? Unfortunately, the doc must always be present, and I guess this is no surprise to you. I imagine with all of the ruckus, you lost track of the doc who was supposed to be AT YOUR SIDE!!! Have you talked to this doc? He/she is partly to blame for not being there.

Can you talk to your NM again? It seems odd to me that she would not supply you with a letter of rec if she admitted to you that you worked hard.

You will find another job, but you may have to live with one that you don't love at first until you can get a good track record and hence a good reference. Have you thought about going back to your old job?

Stay positive. I know that sounds trite in light of what you are experiencing, but it does make an enormous difference. The fact that you have a doc that believes in you enough to have you volunteer at the free clinic will look good on your resume. Can she write you a character reference? It comes in handy when you are trying to re-establish yourself.

I am sending good thoughts to you. I hope that you will be successful in finding a new job that fits you.

[Burlshoe114]

The doctor was havng an off-day as well, and a big part of the problem was he really didn't want to have this patient and didn't want to do the proceedure (which was a sedated hip relocation). The patient was screaming and screaming and was at risk for flinging herself off the gurney, which was why I was focusing on the patient and not the doc. The doc ordered up the med, said (and I quote!) "Let's do this thing," and then literally must have ran out of the room! He said he went to go get a tech to help but then was side-tracked with another patient.

I am glad to be out of there, but at the same time my family has sacrificed so much to get me to where I should be that it kills me that I am in this position.

What has been nice is how many former co-workers have stepped forward to help me job hunt and be references. I just need to figure out this whole thing and how to move past it.

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

Your old NM shafted you, good and proper. What an ayehole - yeah I know the type, old, bitter and needs to retire but 'the hospital won't run without me' type by the sounds of it, and they just go around bullying everyone and making their lives a misery.

Anyway you do need to move on and you want to, which is great. I never look back on the past now, you live and learn and move on. It's a great feeling being liberated in that sense.

Do you have to use your old NM as a referee? Can you get another senior nurse to write you one? I wouldn't be putting down this old NM at all, she will slag your name over the phone to be sure and you won't get another position.

I have refused to use some NMs for referees I have worked for, and I have used other people instead. I've also explained why the work place was so toxic and the other employers didn't care, as long as you don't go overboard explaining what happened - just stay calm and professional. Also say something like you wanted to protect your license and your patients.

Just apply for anything and everything and get some other referees I reckon.

Good luck, sorry this happened to you. Sounds a lot like you were set up.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

If you were dealing with a pt that was getting ready to come off of the gurney and your MD said what he did, I see no fault of yours. Your focus was on the patient and the SAFETY of the patient, as it should be in this situation. I am failing to see your fault in this scenario. Again, I think that the MD should have recognized that this was an acute situation and should have never left your side. There are phones in the bays for a reason, and he should have had the wherewithall to call the charge nurse or to delegate to someone to find a tech.

I am beginning to think that you were railroaded here. The situation that you are in is serious. If you feel that you can, schedule an appt with HR and discuss what is actually in your employment record. You have the right to know. From what you described, I believe that the MD is partly if not fully to blame for leaving you in an acute situation. They know better. Believe me, I have seen anesthesiologists leave a situation in which they should not have in order to "get through the schedule". One time I had an anesthesiologist leave during the intubation of a LOL who had PPP, and she ended up coding. We paged him, we called him on his cell, and we overhead paged him. He showed up 10 minutes later stating that he never got a page. We had our IT department track the IP address of the page (we have text paging at our hospital through the computer system), and it proved to be sent and delivered. Let me tell you, his butt was in a sling. During the administration of Propofol the MD must be present. Period, end of sentence. They KNOW this.

I encourage you to schedule an appt with HR. I feel that you were in a tough situation and that the circumstances were such that you were left unsupervised by someone else's faulty thought process. At this point, you need to fight for your license and find as much proof that you can that you were following orders. It is NOT YOUR FAULT that the MD left.

[paranrs66]

the doc ordered it, you gave it. the patient didn't stop breathing, didn't die. IF he had stopped breathing, you could've bagged him for 20 minutes if it was IM, if IV it would wear off in a few minutes....what a terrible way this was handled. I'm sure some NM HERO saved the day by making a BIG deal out of this. "Investigated and Fired" LOL. Sounds like you should have said, "could you repeat that into my cell phone for my atty.? How about "investigated" and let's go from there. Dang! So Professional. What City does that NM live in, I don't wanna go there! Lol

[tablefor9, RN]

FWIW, in many areas, a hospital can only verify hire dates and position and can not even go into whether you are eligible for rehire or not. I know this because I've done the calling for references and been part of the hiring process from that end. Anything more can be considered slanderous action.

Choose other references, and be honest in your interviews. You'll be fine.

[BOOYARN]

go to you rold nurse managers before you transfered to the ER and get a recommendation letter from them ,,,,,, sorry about your position GOODLUCK!!!

we're all human!

[ChloBear]

Wow, I feel angry just reading this and it didn't even happen to me... You're right, it sounds like a very "cliquey" work environment. You're better off not working on that unit, it's just unfortunate that you didn't get to leave on your own terms before something bad happened. I'm a new nurse, so I can't speak from experience, but a family friend had a similar experience as a psych nurse. The unit was full of negativity, very political, and basically a toxic work environment. She was let go for a pretty minor "offense" but was able to find a new job pretty quickly, nonetheless. Tablefor9 is right, your previous employer can't badmouth you. Just don't use that particular manager as a reference if you can avoid it. Sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you have a lot of people who can help you get back on track. Try to network with the people who know and respect you to find something better. I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but I feel like this kind of thing happens more often in female-dominated situations. It's certainly not true of all situations, but let's face it, women can be down right catty sometimes. Why can't we all just be friends?

[UpinawayRN]

Have been exactly there. You just get knocked down, and get up again and again. There ARE places that are really difficult to gel with. Keep the passion and don't loose confidence!