Having a life....

Love-A-Nurse · Mar 9, 2004

carolanne, well said. way to go, itsy bitsy!

Dixen81 · Mar 9, 2004

Great post! As nice as A's are, they are not worth missing out on so much of your children's lives. Like IstsyBitsy said, they are only little once and you can't ever get back the time you lose with them. I like what Larry said, too; "let's not forget to celebrate our lives." We are never promised tomorrow.

Catma63 · Mar 9, 2004

So often on this board and in school I hear about us nursing students who are sacrificing life and limb to get through school. In my first year of school I dedicated my life to school, put my children's, husband's, and my own life on the backburner. I distinctly remember our instructors telling us to tell our family and friends that we will see them when school is over. After missing countless soccer games, tee ball practices, dance lessons, etc. last year I decided that my kids were not going to be this age forever.Although I know I am doing this for them I cannot look back and know that I missed out on so much.Things that you can never get back. I had to make a conscious decision to put school behind my family and my life and I think it is the best decision I have made. Granted I have gone from all A's to B's and a couple C's, not to mention I have been lectured on "not working to my potential" by instructors who then fully understand once I tell them why. This year though, my house is pretty clean, my kids are very happy, I know their teachers, I haven't missed a soccer game, tee ball starts in 2 weeks and I can't wait. I am posting this to see if anyone else is not being consumed by school. How have you done this? I do realize that some people cannot afford to not get all A's , but for those of you who actually go out on the weekends, have lots of time for your family and for yourself...I would like to hear from you..maybe suggestions on how to have a nice balance between life and school would be great as well.

To be honest with you, when I read this I almost cried. You are describing me and the realization I came upon after struggling through the first units of this second semester. I too feel I put my family and myself on the back burner. I had a student counselor tell me as much. In failing to take care of their needs and mine because of keeping too many study hours and being gone so much for lectures and clinicals, it's no wonder I was upset inside. I almost feel like I've gone through an inner war. Well, I suppose in a way I have.

Yes, we need to study and we need to know our stuff....but we also need to take care of ourselves and those we love. That's where the true fullfillment comes in to place and where neglecting it can prove dangerous.

Thanks for this post, this thread. It's nice to read that I'm not alone.

jemommyRN · Mar 9, 2004

How do you find that balance though? I would like to have A's and B's because I would like to attend graduate school and with all of the competition most schools aren't too found of C's, but I definitely don't want to miss out on anything that my precious little girl goes through. She'll be three when I start nursing school this fall and while I thought it was a good idea to get school over with while she's young (and won't remember) you guys have brought me to the realization that I can never go back to these days. I don't know. I know that God will definitely provide a way, but what will suffer?

ItsyBitsySpider, BSN, RN · Mar 9, 2004

Catma~inner war is exactly what it felt like at the end of last year. I'm so glad you could relate to my post.

jemommy~what will suffer is a spotless house, clean laundry, gourmet meals and a few others. What will you gain is unreplaceable time with your daughter, being there as she grows, an education, and the chance to do what you have always wanted. I am not kidding you when I say I have seen so many people literally miss out on 4 years of their children's lives while finishing school. If you know what you want you will do it.

ronnie~ I never thought that by being a mother before being a student was "settling for the minimum", and I don't ever think I will.

Thanks to all of you who so had such nice things to say about my post, I appreciate it all.

RNSuzq1, RN · Mar 10, 2004

LOL you guys are giving me hope! It's going to be a long engagement and I think the actual marriage will happen a few months after I'm done with school. So that'll give me plenty of time to plan things out and hopefully after I graduate I won't be so poor from school debt that I can still afford a honeymoon :).

Bigmona, You mentioned being poor from school debt and I had a great money-saving idea for your wedding. All of my Sister in-laws are Nurses and for graduation they each had to wear their White Nurses Dress. I believe that was the first and only time they wore those dresses - they all live in scrubs now. If money is an issue - how about adding a train to your Nurses Graduation Dress (it's white), adding a veil - you'll be all set.... The money you save on a Gown can go towards your Honeymoon!!!!

I'm just messing with you (sorry, think I spent too much time in the books today) - but seriously - you could start a new fashion trend!!!!