Have major anxiety, depression, don't really enjoy science... am I crazy for applying?

[AlwaysThinking]

Hi,

This is going to be a long post, and I'm not in the best place mentally, but I really need some advice from current nurses. Thanks to any who reply.

I've just applied to an LPN program. I'm in my mid 20s with no career direction. I earned a B.A. several years ago, but it's been pretty much useless in my job search. I've worked in a variety of industries and nothing has been very enjoyable. I realize work is called work for a reason, but it would be nice to at least like what I do AND be paid reasonably.

My family is getting tired of me always switching my career goals and constantly thinking about what I'd like to do. They want me to just pick something and stick with it already! I have depression, horrible anxiety (on medication for both), and I don't really enjoy science very much. I've taken anatomy/physiology classes in the past and hated them, but managed to get Cs. My family is thrilled that I've picked something. My grandmother was a nurse and she's so happy I've decided to be a nurse too.

I am a caring person, and I truly want to make a difference in the lives of others. I've struggled with how to go about making that happen in a job. I decided on nursing because it's decent money, stable, I'd get to help people, and I wouldn't be trapped behind a desk. Other than that... I really don't know what else I'd do if I don't do nursing. All my interests are better kept as hobbies. They're not very practical.

I hear these stories about how difficult it is to find a job, there really is no nursing shortage, nursing is a calling, etc. I realize no job is perfect and very few things are actually recession-proof. I know nursing schools and hospitals are businesses, so perpetuating the idea that nursing school = guaranteed job, is in their interest.

I'm already worrying about school and I haven't even been accepted yet. If I can't manage my anxiety now, how will I cope on the job? If I don't love science will school and the job be misery? I'm not into technology either, and I'm not mechanically inclined. I worry about all the very hands-on procedures I'd have to do... will that just get easier with practice? I don't want to make a fool of myself. I also don't want to make a huge mistake by going into this field and then regretting it.

Anyone have words of wisdom? Sorry for the length and rambling nature of this post.

[AlwaysThinking]

Thank you everyone for all your insights and advice. It has been very helpful for me, and given me a lot to think about. I really appreciate your willingness to help me out! I've been considering seeking therapy/counseling for a while. The cost of sessions is just so much.

Thanks again for everyone's responses.

[araew2129, ADN]

I have to be honest, reading your post I couldn't see a draw to nursing specifically as much as having a career that involves helping. As several people mentioned, social work immediately popped in my mind. I have been a social worker for 10 years and now going into nursing. You will never make a ton of money but it is stable, lots of social work disciplines involve field work, and there is a measure of job security. However, I also agree with ensuring you are treating your mental health adequately before you go into social work! It is demanding and can be anxiety producing. But really, you will need to make sure you've addressed your issues before you can be a help to others, no matter the profession. That being said, there isn't a reason you shouldn't still explore if nursing is for you. Try volunteering in a nursing home as that is a very typical job for LPNs anyway. Good luck to you!

[direw0lf, BSN]

Thank you everyone for all your insights and advice. It has been very helpful for me, and given me a lot to think about. I really appreciate your willingness to help me out! I've been considering seeking therapy/counseling for a while. The cost of sessions is just so much.

Thanks again for everyone's responses.

If you have health care, do look into who you can see where cost may be covered. There are also some

out there who do work pro bono... maybe you can start by calling a mental health line and getting all the info you can, if you wanted to give it a try. You might start with Home | MentalHealth.gov

Just had to reply because of how you mentioned cost. It's part of the reason I've wanted to go into psychiatric nursing and eventually a psych NP, to provide care to low income and/or rural areas in this field because I think there's a big gap in care.

[HIPAAPotamus, BSN, RN]

I didn't realize how much I loved science until I was fully immersed in my pre-reqs. Turns out, I'm super sciencey.

What I did have is an innate desire to care for others, and an ability to communicate directly to patient needs. A lot of nursing is observation and assessment, and I've found a knack in quickly establishing a rapport with patients in order to have them trust me enough to tell me what's going on.

I'm just taking a wild guess, but judging by the tone of your post I wonder if you have some social anxiety issues as well. While that wouldn't exclude you from an LPN track, I have found that people who are less "open" to patients have struggled far more in clinical settings than those who can talk freely.

In short: yes, nursing is a valuable career, but it may behoove you to speak to counselors - both an academic and a therapeutic - to determine the best fit for you.

[ayuhime, BSN]

Speaking from someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety, here is what I have to say. First, you need to help yourself before helping others. The only reason why I am saying this is because right now, you lack confidence and you do not have a strong backbone, all in which you need for nursing. I know this sounds like a difficult thing to do, but trust me, if you change your attitude your life will change for the better. I used to have the same mindset as you thinking, "I can't do this" "I don't know" and so on. If you change that attitude to, "I can do this" "I want to be an LPN" "I like science" then you will succeed.

I also got my undergrad degree that is mostly pointless in the job market, but now I am going to start the nursing program in February all because I changed my attitude. If I can do it, so can you.