I just had a positive test for Alcohol. I didn't drink.
I'm almost 3 years in to a 5 year contract in Fl's IPN.
I'm not a delicate flower. I didn't dissolve into tears, I was LIVID. Immediately upon hearing what she had to say, I asked for a pEth test. I was told 'no' and that the protocol for a positive etoh is to test specimen B of the split screen and go for an eval. I have NEVER in my entire LIFE tested positive for alcohol. Alcohol is just not my thing and never was.
I told her I would think about it and hung up on her! Immediately I got my own order for a pEth test and self urine tested, just for overkill. I have support systems in place and discussed all of this with my group, we met the same night for our regular weekly group. I kept raging and got a lot of good feedback on how to keep this in perspective and to remember that it was my actions that put me here. That helped me, because despite how angry I am, staying in a 'victim' spot is never a good choice for me.
I've been at this long enough so that although I do carry a degree of guilt and shame, I don't let it keep me from standing up for myself when I truly feel something is not right. One of the suggestions I got from my group was to go ahead and have the split screen tested. I was operating with the notion that if I hadn't drank, it must be contamination. And if they retested, would they use a second specimen to try and hang me. Then I learned about 'incidental' exposure. And I had taken Apple Cider Vinegar for joint pain and inflammation. There is no ALCOHOL listed on the label. A friend of mine in group had tested positive for etoh in treatment from red wine vinegar. I contacted my case manager who always very kind ( she's not the one I hung up on ) and deposited the additional $55 dollars in Affinity to cover the cost of the split screen. Spent $249 in less than 24 hours attempting to prove my innocence.
I was told later to do any test I wanted, no test result from this point on was going to negate a positive etoh. Which is fine. I'm not looking to negate the positive, I'm looking to establish a 'look back' through a pEth so that the time the specimen was submitted is surrounded by other days, before and after. If I didn't act then, that time would elapse and it would be easier for them to try and say I'm drinking. And, I'm in the process of setting up the eval. They will request a hair test, another pEth, fingernail and urine. That is all a ok. I am one of the fortunate that can withstand the cost of anything they throw at me. And I'm convinced that's what it takes.
I had an email war going. I asked them why it took 8 days to report a positive urine? Weren't they supposed to be protecting the public from me? I asked them what has my urine been doing for 8 days, fermenting? After that last message, I was given THAT day only to retest the rescreen. I didn't get the message till 6pm. So, I missed the window. What was my urine doing for 8 days? Why did it take them so long to notify a nurse who had a positive for etoh? I could've been on an 8 day bender! I wasn't, but that's beside the point. And, they wanted to retest the same urine. Something is weird about this.
I'm in the process of setting up the eval. I started calling THAT day, the person in my area has yet to return my phone call. So, I'll probably have to go a city away. It's impossible to do this stuff quickly. Then, once I get an appointment, I have to give IPN 72 business hours to fax the info to the person I selected. SO glad I had that pEth test done myself, mind you. Time is ticking away... Time to let them look back during the time the positive screen was collected.
Can you think of anything else I can do to be proactive? I do not mind being tested, I do not mind another evaluation. But I would be devastated if I lost my time in monitoring. I would like to say here that the person who is my full time case manager is very kind. Just the battle axe who covered for her on her day off was not and I gave as well as I got. The way I see it is, I'm required to comply. There is nothing in my contract that implies I'm a whipping boy. So, I stood up for myself and I always come out swinging.
I don't know guys. They're brewing rocket fuel out of my urine at this point. No one in my group had any ideas about why the levels change, increase, etc... From what I've read bacteria ( I don't feel like I have a UTI ), yeast, sugar, and I guess alcohol cause the fermentation process. I have always said that maybe I did accidentally expose myself to something. It just wasn't booze. I think that maybe it started out in the incidental exposure range and grew because it was held so long or not stored properly.
LOL, Cats. At this point I'll settle for not being sent back to square one.
Persephone,
This is just the epitome of awfulness. I applaud your ability to keep it together so gracefully. I admit, stories like these have me obsessive about everything I touch, ingest, or accidentally inhale. To the point where I don't eat out, I don't go out, and I'm secluded in a life of fear. If it sounds dramatic...well, yes. It certainly feels dramatic.
I know it's not rational, I know its excessive. I have 3 years 9 months left, and I don't know how I can sustain this level of isolation and caution. But the ever present fear of WHAT IF is so choking, that I don't know how to chill out.
I mean, I'm afraid of people with perfume on for fear that its alcohol based and the fumes might trip a positive. And alcohol was never even my problem. I'm afraid of boxes of chocolate in case they lie and there is some liquor hidden in there. I'm afraid of PAM spray in case I inhale the aerosolized alcohol and have to pee the next morning. I'm afraid of antibiotics irrationally tripping a positive.
I have some experience, which is why I have this fear. When I had to drop a urine to get in to IOP for monitoring, I popped positive for MDMA. Of all the things I've ingested in my life, taking Ecstacy or Molly was NOT one of them.
This was with my IOP, and the IOP didn't do the drug screen metabolite breakdown to see what the source drug was. I submited stacks of research articles that addressed that trazodone, which I was taking in a large, prescribed dose, could trip positive for MDMA.
But because they didn't get the further testing done, it was really just my junky word against the Board. So now it is tucked in my file that I abused Ecstacy and refused to admit it. So, if I fail at monitoring, that and everything else gets published online. If I have a false positive against me, ain't no one going to believe me when it's already on my record that I "lied about ingesting MDMA prior to monitoring."
So never really knowing what tripped that positive, I do live in fear. I've taken trazodone at a smaller dose while in monitoring and never tripped positive, so I really never will know what made me trip positive for MDMA, which I'm sure you know, makes it awfully hard to avoid the things when you don't know what made you positive to begin with.
All this to say, thank you for sharing your journey. I check daily to look for updates. We are all rooting for you.
Eris, you have well-described the level of paranoia that we live in. I don't know how to prove that I didn't do something adequately that may satisfy the jokers in monitoring land. I'd get all the tests done and that should be enough but these programs don't operate on any level of common sense
Thanks all who posted support in my absence. I went out of town for mother's day. As far as I can tell, I've been cleared to practice again. Not that I had found a job yet. Like a lot of you, I still don't know what I did to cause a positive for alcohol. But, I'm grateful that all the other tests at least proved to IPN's satisfaction that I'm not drinking.
I feel like I've been through a war. I'm so glad this was behind me before the mother's day weekend. I haven't slept well, or been myself at all since this began not quite 1 month ago. I have 2 years, 2 months ( IF I can get a job ), the thought of this going on forever or having to start all over because of something I mistakenly ingested was so real, I'm traumatized.
I just wanted to thank everyone who was here for me. You guys were my lifeline through this. They wouldn't admit to it, but I am reasonably sure that most of my local group thought I tied one on.
So they're just not going to say anything? Like just a generic form notice that you are 'no longer refrained from practice." Or something asinine like that. Absolutely zero admission that they were WRONG!!!!! Because apparently it is not possible for them to be wrong.
Given that you have now stood up and successfully defended yourself and basically made them look like fools, my suspicion is that they will probably not mess with you in the future....you might be apt to unleash a lawyer.
Just for curiosity, I would want to see what that tool of an evaluator wrote. Since he failed at extracting a nonexistent confession from you, I wonder what he could have written, besides...well, nothing.
And as far as people in your group thinking you 'imbibed?' Maybe they should worry that this same ting could happen to them before passing judgement on someone else. This is supposed to be a support group, right?
So they're just not going to say anything? Like just a generic form notice that you are 'no longer refrained from practice." Or something asinine like that. Absolutely zero admission that they were WRONG!!!!! Because apparently it is not possible for them to be wrong.
Given that you have now stood up and successfully defended yourself and basically made them look like fools, my suspicion is that they will probably not mess with you in the future....you might be apt to unleash a lawyer.
Just for curiosity, I would want to see what that tool of an evaluator wrote. Since he failed at extracting a nonexistent confession from you, I wonder what he could have written, besides...well, nothing.
And as far as people in your group thinking you 'imbibed?' Maybe they should worry that this same ting could happen to them before passing judgement on someone else. This is supposed to be a support group, right?
I unloaded on them Friday morning before I left town. I did get a few phonecalls, but I didn't see the voicemails until today. One was from a guy, wanting to explain how drugs screens work. Another was from a lady telling me I was cleared. And the last was my case manager telling me to go to more meetings!
I doubt I will call. Nothing good happens when I talk to IPN on the phone. They have about 5 responses:
Hey, so-in-so, I could really use some help with_______.
1. Use your group to process the added stress.
Hey, so-in-so, what should I do in a case of________?
2. You're caught in that loop, why don't you process this with your support group?
Hey, so-in-so, I can't find a job.
3. I'm so sorry you are having trouble, be sure to process this in group.
Hey, so-in-so, I can't find a clinical site.
4. I understand your frustration, be sure to process this with your group.
Hey, so-in-so, I still can't find a job. Otherwise, I'm trying to stay positive.
5. I'm sorry. Oh and by the way, you're UDS was positive.
Nothing good ever comes from talking to IPN. They should just put an intuitive automated voice response in place of 'case manager.'
I asked for the eval copy, they were supposed to send it today. I'm going to call them tomorrow.
Yeah, I find thier "support" to be soooo underwhelming. Attend more meetings? I get minimal to zero use out of what you make me go to now, why the blazes would I go to more??????
Some clown wanted to inform you as to how drug screens work??? Oh really? Cue emoticon with head sideways.... me thinks these dingbats forgot we all showed up that day in nursing school, even if they didn't.
I'm looking forward to the day when I can 'process' thier stupid contract and participant manual and every other associated piece of trash right into a big bonfire.
I love how they push us to 'be sure to not forget the IPN convention or whatever the heck it is every year, like I want to volunteer to spend a ******* second around these morons. I get those reminders and I'm like, they have to have drank a gallon of thier own kool aid to think that anyone believes they benefit a single person in Florida, doing people like they've done you.
oh and when you left town, did you make sure to 'ask permission, submit a recovery plan, and ensure that you'd be able to P test if called? I know, now I'm just being obnoxious....
I know we have all been extremely interested in this thread, and have been checking it almost as obsessively as if were us who was in this terrible situation! Because like it or not, it COULD be any one of us finding ourselves having to deal with this very same thing!!!
And guess what?.... I think I may be finding myself a fairy hair away from the same situation! I went today to my Option 1 drug screen. I use a local lab because the Quest here is too difficult to get in and out in a timely manner. But the lab I use has "Quest" specimen cups for drug screens. Every SINGLE cup she pulled out of the cabinet for my drug screen was damaged!!!! And I'm not talking, oooh it's a little squashed looking. I'm saying ALL of them had torn tops, plastic wrap on the tops, cracked pee cups, etc...EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!! I tried to be super nice and tell her, I simply cannot use this cup for a specimen because the container is damaged. Chain of custody is super important and I cannot be sure these cups are not contaminated. Please find a new one. 22 cups later she was able to find one that appeared to be intact. But from the looks of what she was pulling out of the cabinet, I'm not sure that this ones integrity wasn't also compromised!!! UGHHH
Generally speaking, lab personnel know the importance of chain of custody requirements. Those that don't know or don't care truly do not realize that their sloppiness can cause what Persephone just encountered or completely destroy a career and potentially a life altogether.
If we as nurses were that careless, for example handling meds after changing an ostomy bag and not changing gloves/handwashing. Alright, y'all stop cringing now, I know, gross, but you get my point.....nevermind the nasty factor, we'd potentially kill someone.
That these programs are not remotely concerned that probable simple carelessness by technical personnel may be the cause of this and instead immediately jump to whatever conclusion involves huge expenditures of money on the part of the participant, act in an extremely rude and condescending manner and blatantly refuse to admit that they might have made a boo boo, further serves to prove how a previously novel idea of advocacy in the nursing profession has become a sickening example of corruption, money grabbing tactics and unethical behavior even by physicians associated with it that would make Hippocrates spin in his grave.
Persephone Paige, ADN
1 Article; 696 Posts
I don't know guys. They're brewing rocket fuel out of my urine at this point. No one in my group had any ideas about why the levels change, increase, etc... From what I've read bacteria ( I don't feel like I have a UTI ), yeast, sugar, and I guess alcohol cause the fermentation process. I have always said that maybe I did accidentally expose myself to something. It just wasn't booze. I think that maybe it started out in the incidental exposure range and grew because it was held so long or not stored properly.
I will keep updating.