I noticed this problem at the end of first year. I became a really negative person, hated life, thought everything was unfair, and I'm 100% sure it was because of my first year of nursing.
I did a complete 360 on my negativity the next year, and made many new friends and started my own business while in my second year of nursing. But, I only was able to do this because I started to focus on things outside of nursing. I still get straight As, but my heart is not in it.
Is it just me? Do I just not like nursing? Or does anybody else experience this?
After being a nurse for about nine years I feel myself get more negative as the years pass. I love the bedside I love consoling patients and getting to know them and feeling like I make a difference. However, patients are getting sicker and sicker and I feel like I am just a pill pusher. I am a " negative nancy" because I beat myself up when I have a heavy load of patients and do not have the time to have a caring moment with a patient. I always think of why I am a nurse it is not for the money it is to care for others. Some days I leave feeling like the worst nurse in the world because I did not have the time to spend with my patient who was crying, dying, or has no family left to visit them.
My first reaction might have been --> Yes. But after thinking a few moments, I have to answer, "No." What happened is, I realized the truth...Healthcare is a business. Nursing (although maybe a highly regarded one) is a job. People are making money and want more money, so they are trying to lessen their overhead (paying less workers and making them do more) at healthcare facilities and co-workers can be conniving trying to get the easier load for themselves, etc., and some can be cliquey. Adding: and customer service in nursing drives me batty! So, I am not more negative or negative in general. It is just the business.
This is a good way to put it! Cynical, yes....and amazed at how the human body and spirit can survive so much.
Shock that a human survived a dx of bicycle vs semi truck - and was planning to ride again. Crazy amazing. Love these outcomes.
Or the less sensational but also wonderful patient who has a health scare and realizes - and makes - major life changes that will improve both quality and length of life.
The patient who strolls onto the floor to thank the staff who cared for him in the time before his (very successful) heart transplant.
These are the stories that are awe inspiring - the stories of the lady in room five griping because the ED staff aren't getting her dad a coke because they are in the midst of a code and daughter states she doesn't care one whit about coding patient. Those stories and situations suck. Big time. And they happen way too often.
Hello you are not alone! I really no longer like my profession most of the time. It's kaotic, my family suffers, I have to work weekends and holidays, I am forced to work mandatory overtime (patient abandonment don't you know). I wish I had chosen a different career. I've tried many different avenues of nursing and it is all the same. In my opinion, nursing is great if you don't have a family. My daughter said she wanted to be a nurse when she grew up and I told her you really don't if you ever want a family someday. Sorry for the negativity, but you asked! Lol :)
I am not so naive to people and their intentions. It's hardened me in that way. I am frustrated by watching people destroy themselves and feeling like my role as a nurse is not helpful in meaningful long term change for most of those people. I realized I can't like everyone, not even some of my patients. In general I have become much less trusting of any people, more suspicious. I've developed a dark and sarcastic sense of humor. I complain a LOT about work.
Balancing that, I've never felt so accomplished and productive. I love many of my patients. Being a nurse and making any kind of small positive impact gives me a massive sense of satisfaction. I like my job- prioritizing, organizing, multitasking, critical thinking, learning something new constantly, ect... I also enjoy the social aspect and forming bonds with my coworkers.
Outside of work I am extremely satisfied with my life. I own a home, am close with my family, have a wonderful husband am starting a family. This is where I always wanted to be.
Sweetmuffin23
1 Post
After being a nurse for about nine years I feel myself get more negative as the years pass. I love the bedside I love consoling patients and getting to know them and feeling like I make a difference. However, patients are getting sicker and sicker and I feel like I am just a pill pusher. I am a " negative nancy" because I beat myself up when I have a heavy load of patients and do not have the time to have a caring moment with a patient. I always think of why I am a nurse it is not for the money it is to care for others. Some days I leave feeling like the worst nurse in the world because I did not have the time to spend with my patient who was crying, dying, or has no family left to visit them.