so hard to keep positive

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Hello all, I frequently read from this forum on almost a daily basis. I too am in the state of recovery and been clean for almost 4 years. My LPN license is currently on probation for 4 years 1 year of narc restriction. I have had a couple interviews lately and I write this thread bc I'm kinda down..the last interview I really should my passion of being a nurse and I thought it went pretty well the lady said she would call me by wed or Thur ( interview was Monday) I never heard from her. I called today to follow up and I got the " shrson the line can I take your number and she will give me a call back " . still no word :-(.... Will I ever find a job I ask myself? I don't wanna give up...I worked so much and with aide pay its hard to keep up financially. I'm am thankful to have work dont get me wrong.. Its just I wanna be a nurse again. FYI I was under the influence of xanax at work and got reported.. Tested pos for other illegal drugs and here I am.. I was so young and naive.. Wish I didn't make these horrible choices.. Thanks for all the support u all give to each other..it really is nice to come on here and see some pos outcomes and such nice words spoken to each other.. But will I be so lucky?

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There are a lot of down days between getting caught and rebuilding yourself. Its a process that feels terrible, like being lost at sea by yourself with no land in sight. Sorry to hear you are in this place.

You have to keep trying to get a job, I was lucky that I didn't get the first jobs I applied for (I was looking at what was familiar). I ended up applying for a job that I thought would be easy, just something to get me by until I could have a real nursing job again... almost two years later an I don't have a desire to go back to bedside.

As someone who managed nurses it was really hard to choose sometimes- I always called people back but disappointing them was hard- I can see why some managers only want to give the good news. Its nothing personal or even saying that those who were not hired were not qualified.

This is a process- keep going and you'll come out the other side a more fulfilled and stronger person.

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Keeping a positive outlook is challenging for all of us. Monitered or not. I believe its a matter of choices. Choosing to wake each morning, look at that person in the mirror, and say are worthy of all good things to come. I am going to do something good for myself and someone else. Choosing to not be a victim of your past mistakes. Choosing to look for the goodness in each moment of our lives and be grateful. Helps me when I realize I have a choice. Peace

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My issue was not drugs a DUI got me in trouble for 2 years. Someone did take the time to hear my story and she appreciated my complete honesty. She followed up by checking public records and everything I told her was there for her to see.. I was hired.. I can't imagine having narc restrictions I'm sure just like me someone will eventually believe in you.. Best of luck.

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Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I say to myself " I will be the best worker "and bc I get monitored there's no need to worry about issues that may arise from others who aren't. But I do understand it is not reassuring to an employer to have a recovering addict in their place. I just want a chance.. I will find one day I know.just sucks to be turned down. Thanks hun.

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Yea natc restrictions are hard. I'm trying to do doctors offices where I don't give meds. What do you guys think about me applying g for medical assistant? I don't care about the pay just love to be in a role in an office. I am doing home care aide work. I guess I want a more professional setting... Thanks for all the comments it gives me perspective

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Hang in there...your time will come exactly when its supposed to!

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Yea I was young and made stupid choices in all honesty...I got my LPN young at 19 and still had a lot of maturing to do. Long story short..I went to work not in a good state of mind, after a night of partying , went to this LTC facility thru an agency, even when my mom told me I didn't look right ( I was scared to get fired, which now who cares bc I wouldn't have gone thru this)

And got called by supervisor to office where they asked me if I was ok.. They let me work and sent me home 15 mins before end of my shift (3-11) and then reported me..so when I had screens done they found drugs in my system. Now here I am. So I gotta live with my choices and move on but it is so hard to get someone to believe in me and trust me... I know it will happen one day hopefully bc believe I got a second chance with my nursing bc I was meant for it...

One more thing to add, after almost 2 years into probation I got a pos screen for alcohol.. I didn't have a problem with alcohol which being an addict I understand it could become a problem, I didn't think it would be in urine.. So I was called in front of board+ so nerve wracking), and I pleaded to them I was sorry bc it was a one time thing..they gave me another chance..that there tells me I'm meant to be a nurse....now just need to find employment...I'm lucky they didn't revoke it for violating.. Sorry for long reply just wanted to share my story...i love this forum...it brings me so much hope and i love to interact with all you beautiful people..

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I was also surprised that I was working after the discovery of my diversion- I thought that protecting the public was paramount- but really to the employer it was about staffing first. The system that allowed me to divert without discovery for a long time is still in place. It makes our punishment seem unfair when other offenses to the patient safety model go unchecked.

Even if the job you take at first isn't using your LPN go for what you think will make you happy.

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You think someone would hire me as a medical assistant? I mean I can what they do and more but I was wondering bc im not certified a MA?

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I'm working at a drug treatment center, you might look into that. They tend to be more understanding of our disease and recovery process. And you have several years clean time - they usually only require 2 years.

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Wut do u do there?

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