This is sort of a follow-up to Thedreamer's thread...
I myself am a straight male, nursing student, and work as a tech at a local hospital. Last year my boss began scheduling me to work in an off-site, outpatient sector of the hospital (ie, instead of the main hospital building, with in-patients, which is where our dept is based). The reason for this was that apparently OP was short-handed and needed a tech there, and I was asked to fill in, and I didn't mind at all at the time that I was asked.
Turns out this new department was entirely female. ie, about 10 RNs, a couple of female secretaries, one female tech, and myself. No big deal. Well within a short period of time, things began to happen. Comments, touching...more comments...laughter. The female tech asked me, straight-up, and in front of two patients, about the details of my sex life. (ie, "D'you get laid over the weekend?") Yeah. Completely out of the blue. The patients were both very elderly and were a few feet away, so I guess she thought they couldn't hear (and thankfully I don't think they did), but any person with normal hearing would have been able to hear it loud and clear. What made it worse is that there were several RNs, all female, right there in that area who obviously heard her comment....and they all just laughed it off. ??!? One them, to her credit, finally mumbled something like "maybe you shouldn't ask him that". On another occasion one of the RNs (who had her master's degree - not a practicioner but I think a clinical specialist) came up behind me and started pulling my hair. Yes...just pulling my hair. Again, no warning, no apparent reason or logic behind it whatsoever...she didn't even say anything, either, which made it even weirder. I finally managed to pull away from her and just kinda looked at her like "***?!" and she didn't even so much as look me in the eye...just kept on walking instead. This same nurse, along with others, used to also call me names. Some of their favorites were "little boy" and "good boy". (I am 28 years old; was 27 when this all happened.) Another RN one time said (also in front of a patient) that I am a "good boy who likes little girls". Now what in the ever-loving h@#*%$ that is supposed to mean, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea, but it was just plain creepy and sick-sounding. And completely embarassing.
What often made the whole thing worse is that far from being "short-handed" as I had been told, they were often overstaffed if anything. So there were long stretches of time during which I (as a tech with limited responsibilities) had absolutely nothing to do except just find a free chair in the office/desk area and just sit there. And of course all the while I was having to watch my back for any further "attacks" from my coworkers. I hate to put it that way but seriously, it was that bad.
For a long time I was afraid and reluctant to talk to my boss because even though this dept had a supervisor, I was told that my actual supervisor was technically my boss over at the main hospital, who I never saw anymore because I never was scheduled to work there anymore at this point. So it was kinda hard to get a hold of him. Also, this same boss was notoriously well-known for his temper. I'd heard that he'd had to take anger management classes in the past, and had several times been reprimanded by his boss over his angry outbursts. So I really did not want to rock the boat, but finally I just could not take it any longer. Well interestingly enough it turned out that he was very, very understanding and receptive to the problem. Also turned out that the guy (also the only guy in his time) who had been working in my place before me had had similiar problems. It was kind of a huge relief to learn that in a way, simply because it assured me that I wasn't just somehow inviting this problem onto myself without being consciously aware of it (although I have no idea how that would have even been possible in the first place; neverthless it had crossed my mind before). On that note, I have no idea why my boss had then decided to pick me (ie, another guy) to replace him, but after he heard my story apparently he finally decided that maybe having a lone guy work with this particular group of nurses was not such a good idea.
So my boss was like, "can you at least finish out the week there?" and since there were only 2 days left on that scheduling cycle, i was like sure. Well somehow on the afternoon of the last day, the OP supervisor had incidentally learned from my boss what all had been going on. (He didn't tell her all the details, at least not right away; he just confronted her about the fact that there had been a major problem). Well she pulled me into a room, alone, and quietly asked if I "had ever experienced any problems working in outpatient". It was kinda weird of her to ask this, because some of the things that had been happening (name calling, touching, etc.) had happened not by her but in her very presence! Well I very cautiously explained that yes, there had in fact been some problems. I didn't really go into details, but I told her the basic jist of everything. Well then she suddenly started crying in front of me...sobbing even. Apparently she felt really guilty about all of it and I suppose perhaps she was afraid that this might somehow cost her her job or reputation. However, I really didn't have any animosity at all towards her (simply b/c she in particular had never done anything to me and I had always just given her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that she was simply unaware of what was going on). Well then I felt bad for even having to bring it up at all. She was crying so hard that I kinda wanted to give her a little hug, just to let her know that 1. I wasn't planning on "retaliating" by going to HR or anything like that (although I was extremely close to doing that) and 2. I totally forgave her for any oversight on her part as a supervisor. But of course by that point after all the touching and comments that had occured, I figured the last thing anyone needed was a hug that could even remotely be interpreted the wrong way, since we were in a very small room, just the 2 of us. So instead I just kinda stood there while she cried and told her (basically) that it was all okay as far as I was concerned; that I simply just didnt' want to work in that dept anymore - ie, that was all I was asking. Needless to say it was all extremely awkward. Finally she just kinda left the room and then left completely for the day (very early). But after that my boss never asked me to work in that dept again. And I am definitely glad.
Somewhat off topic but...I hate it when girls cry. I don't mean the "my dog died" crying but the "I can't believe this happened" or "I feel so bad I did that" crying. I have NO idea what to do and just stand there looking like an idiot.
Girls...they are so strange sometimes.
Don't give in, just walk away. This kind of "fake" crying is almost always a ploy, because she knows she screwed up and she's hoping that by crying, you'll feel sorry for her, not report her and she'll be off the hook -- you've heard the expression about the power of a woman's tears...it's like kryptonite to Superman (usually only works on straight guys, though...gay men are largely immune...LOL). She knew perfectly well she dropped the ball and she's scared...and she should be; accountability and professionalism are NOT gender-specific. Fake crying sure as heck wouldn't work in the other direction!
Another problem is... if a patient overhears or sees this kind of thing going on...the argument made to them tha "this is medicine...not sexual at all.. so don't fret" goes right out the window and the credibility of the medical community suffers.. If I am a patient , I do not want to hear about the providers sex life..it has nothing to do eith why I am there. I do not care. That is personal and it would have to have direct bearing on my care before you would hear about mine and I can not imagine why I would ever want to hear about your sex life no matter what your sex or orientation. I would also be ambarrassed for the person such talk ws directed at.
As someone who has experienced sexual harrassment, I have to commend the OP on his attitude. Frequently the perpetrators are such idiots that they don't even realize that they are causing you discomfort.
And to the comment that HE would have automatically lost HIS job, HA! I saw that happen conce and once only. Usually I saw the perp get a slap on the wrist and a promotion.
It is great to hear that this problem was resolved. In the nursing profession, one that is so female dominated, men are usually not taken seriously when reporting abuse and/or harassment from female colleagues.
pretty extreme sorry, but as a male, when i was working as a CNA i always felt like the other cnas who were all female were constantly talking about sexual issues, such as how big (blank) guy was or who they slept with
pretty uncomfortable situation, but i guess I now have a perspective on how it makes females feel when a whole bunch of guys are making sexual jokes etc
duno, i feel like this is pretty common in the work situations I have been in, in this female dominated profession
Any good company should educate its employees and management in gender/sexual harassment, etc. I also believe that there should be zero tolerance for it.
I'm glad you got out of that position. It does not sound like a very good place to work overall.
Anubis
42 Posts
Don't give in, just walk away. This kind of "fake" crying is almost always a ploy, because she knows she screwed up and she's hoping that by crying, you'll feel sorry for her, not report her and she'll be off the hook -- you've heard the expression about the power of a woman's tears...it's like kryptonite to Superman (usually only works on straight guys, though...gay men are largely immune...LOL). She knew perfectly well she dropped the ball and she's scared...and she should be; accountability and professionalism are NOT gender-specific. Fake crying sure as heck wouldn't work in the other direction!