Had to pull out.....

francine79 · Dec 7, 2003

I understand what you are feeling. Luckily, I don't have a family. I don't know how anyone does it. However, I am working on my 3rd year as a fulltime student, but just my first year of nursing. I also work full-time. Have to in order to pay the bills. And for several weeks now I have been completely burned out. Usually, I am pretty competitive and really strive to get A's. This semester though, I'm so tired and exhausted from school and work, I'm skipping out on a paper for one of my classes and will pass with a C instead of an A. I also have been skipping some classes as well. This is COMPLETELY untypical of me.

I've thought about taking a semester off, but I keep thinking if I do that's just longer for me to go through this. I've even had second thoughts about becoming a nurse and quitting school and going back to my old job as a cook. But, I know it's just because I'm getting burned out from school and working all the time.

I'm ready for this semester to be OVER!!

But, I am going to just be working 60 hours a week during my break so that I can afford the $500 worth of books I need next semester.

I just keep thinking someday this has to end. I wish I had some words of encouragement. But at least you know you aren't the only one feeling this way.

Francine

lmd32 · Dec 7, 2003

It's really tough. There are days when my house looks like a cyclone came through, when we eat McDonald's for dinner (again) and when I depend way too much on my older kids to fill in.

I am lucky that my kids are older. I don't think I could do this with little ones.

Christmas is particularly difficult because the semester isn't over until the 17th. Hope everyone will understand that the house won't be decorated until just before Christmas, that my mailed gifts will either go next day air or arrive late, and that cards may show up at Valentines.

The way I get through it is to keep telling myself it's very temporary. That I can do anything for a few months at a time. Every semester's a new schedule anyway.

You gotta do what you gotta do. Hope you're leaving your bridges unburned and your doors open to come back. Lots of folks do nursing school one term at a time.

--Lynn, single mom to Krisandra (23); Kate (19); Aaron (16); and Charlie (10; star of the ADHD olympics)

Entry Level Masters student/RN 2004/MSN 2006/Future FNP

"stay on target"==George Lucas

pabrid · Dec 7, 2003

I just wanted to make a few encouraging comments in regard to school. To me, nursing school was one of the most difficult challenges in my life. I went to nursing school later in life and my oldest child was out of high school and my youngest was 10 years old. I also worked full-time and attended school full-time, neglected household chores until the weekend to get enough study time in, and relied on my husband to do most if not all of the cooking and most of the house work. I made a lot of sacrifices at my family's expense, but with a lot of prayer and support, and a strong desire to pursue a career that I desperately wanted, I finished nursing school with an ADN in 1997. I have never for one moment regretted my decision to continue my education, and nursing has brought such gratification that I never experienced in any other job. I'm now working on my master's degree, but none of the advanced nursing programs have been as challenging as the ADN program. So my advice is to hang in there - it won't last forever. If you really have a desire to be a nurse, you will not regret your decision to enter a field where you can really make a difference in people's lives, and job opportunities are great. Here in California, nurse recruiters are in competition for R.N.'s.

susanmary · Dec 7, 2003

Trust your instincts and do what is best for you and your family. Nursing school is definitely not a family-friendly experience ... many nursing positions are not family-friendly, either. You really have to decide what your priorities are. Nursing school, as challenging as it is, is only the beginning of an extremely challenging/demanding career ... you really need to want it.

There are days in nursing where it never gets easier. And if being with your family is where you want to be ... realize that you will be working major holidays & will sacrifice attending some of their important school activities. It's a matter of what you really want to do. If you are questioning your career choice, shadow a med-surg nurse for a shift or two. You are not alone, many nurses felt exactly just the way you did ... and worked a job beside (can you say lack of sleep?)

Whether you continue on your path to nursing does not define you. You define yourself. Take some time and reflect on what you'd like to do with your life ... there's nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom!!!!

Many nurses have been exactly where you are and have gone on to complete their degrees. I did ... but I also missed alot of very important events in my children's lives that I can never get back. If I were to have done it over, I would not have become a nurse ... I would have become a teacher (yes, the positions are demanding and there is much homework) but I would have had holidays & vacations off with my children.

Raising children, keeping your marriage/family intact, taking care of your mental/physical health, keeping your house clean enough so that the dust bunnies are smaller than soccer balls ... all of this is challening -- add the demands of nursing school -- and something has to give. You have to decide your priorities and what you can let go of. Finding some sort of balance is the key.

You are wise to take some time & reflect on your life ... do what is right for you and your family. Best of luck.

allnurses Guide · Dec 7, 2003

Wow, I just have to agree with Susanmary.

I too went back to school when I was 38 and my youngest was in 1st grade. It was a wrenching time for me as I've always believed in my heart of hearts that my family should come first. There were sacrifices that my family had to make that I do not feel good about now and the truth is my second son really needed more stability at that point in his life and has made some very harmful life choices in the last two years. I'm not going to completely blame myself . .actually, he knew better and it is his fault. But I can look back now and see signs I was too busy and stressed to see. My marriage also suffered even though my husband was very supportive.

I think you need to listen to your heart too and give yourself some time. There is no great need to rush this decision.

My goal now, as you probably already can see, is to be a stay at home mom. I have a toddler now, along with a 20 year old, 18 year old and 14 year old. They grow up very fast. I want to enjoy this time with my kids.

Best wishes and DO NOT feel badly about this decision.

steph:kiss

susanmary · Dec 7, 2003

[so my advice is to hang in there - it won't last forever. B]

Childhood doesn't last forever, either ...

mitchsmom · Dec 7, 2003

The demands of school are why I am attending part-time. My husband's work allows him to be home more than most Dads, so one of us is able to be with the kids a majority of the time. If it weren't for these two things, I wouldn't be going back to school at this time. My husband is NOT in favor of my going right now even part-time, so that in itself is a stressor. This way I can still volunteer in my son's classroom and be here for my 18mo & 4yo, etc etc. I'm also a super anal student and this way I can get good grades and really enjoy it and learn it the way I want to. I say do what you need to do - school will always be there but your kids are only young once. You'll never regret doing what's best for your family.

classicaldreams · Dec 7, 2003

Originally posted by Kyla
Just thought I'd vent...

I am a first year student in the Baccalaurette degree program. I am a 33 yr old wife and mom to two kids, 5 and 7. For the last two years I had finished up high school sciences in order to apply for the nursing program. I was one of a lucky (or so I thought)66 students accepted out of approx. 500 applicants. Anyway, started first semester in September and I am totally burned out already. . . ANYTHING but school, and nursing seem to be the farthest thing on my mind at this point. SO.... I did the inthinkable. I am taking next semester off to reevaluate everything.

Dear Kyla,

Completing school or raising your children, both are positive experiences. I hope that you are not feeling like you have quit or that you are a quitter. Society makes us feel like raising children is a walk in the park and that anyone can do it with their hands tied behind their backs. When in reality, having a family and raising children is very demanding.

If you want to be a nurse and you think you may want to return to nursing school in the future, write a letter to the school explaining your situation. Be positive and ask that you be allowed to return in a few years when your children are older and you are ready to give them more independence. When you are ready to re-apply, you'll have a written record of why you had to leave the first time around.

There are many 40-something nursing students. We have waited until our children are older. You might find the diversion of nursing school a bit of a blessing when they are teenagers. It's nice to have something else to focus upon sometimes!

Best of luck to you,

Classicaldreams

LeesieBug · Dec 7, 2003

Having gone through what you are going through now, I would advise you NOT to withdraw until AFTER you have had Christmas break. From experience, I know that it is NOT a good idea to make that kind of a decision when you are feeling stressed at the end of a semester. I can't count the number of times that I thought about quitting in the heat of the moment, then when things got better was SO glad I did not!

The time to make that decision is after CAREFUL, objective consideration, not when you are feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally drained.

Make sure you examine your alternatives also, before quitting completely. I now make sure that I balance my courseload. Not so much in regard to credit hours, but the intensity of the classes. For example, next semester I am postponing A&PII 'till summer because it will just be too much with the nursing classes I am taking. Remind yourself that you CAN make adjustments to make life easier, and as you progress you will get the hang of what works for you. Part -time is better than NO time.

I am a mother of three school age kids (12,12,7). THEY ARE my priority. I schedule my classes while they are in school, and make sure I organize my studying around their needs. It was very stressful the first semester or two, but , honestly, it does smooth out a bit, eventually.

Good Luck in whatever you decide.

TeresaRN2b · Dec 7, 2003

Are there any part time programs near you? I can completely understand how you feel. I am exhausted and not enjoying nursing school like I thought I would. I love nursing however. Every time we are at clinicals I love it. I love the classes. I love what I am learning. If this makes any sense, it is just too much time it takes away from my family. I am dropping to part time next semester. This way I can still do what I love without sacrificing my family. I have wanted to be a nurse almost my whole life and I know I want this so I am just slowing down the pace so I can enjoy it more. If there wasn't a part time option I'd probably drag myself through it, but I am so glad that I have the option to go part time. I would look into part time programs, whether it be an ADN degree, diploma program, or maybe even a part time LPN program. If you got any of those part time you'd have a lot more options on how to get your BSN. Hang in there.

Teresa

Catma63 · Dec 8, 2003

Originally posted by pabrid
I just wanted to make a few encouraging comments in regard to school. To me, nursing school was one of the most difficult challenges in my life. I went to nursing school later in life and my oldest child was out of high school and my youngest was 10 years old. I also worked full-time and attended school full-time, neglected household chores until the weekend to get enough study time in, and relied on my husband to do most if not all of the cooking and most of the house work. I made a lot of sacrifices at my family's expense, but with a lot of prayer and support, and a strong desire to pursue a career that I desperately wanted, I finished nursing school with an ADN in 1997. I have never for one moment regretted my decision to continue my education, and nursing has brought such gratification that I never experienced in any other job. I'm now working on my master's degree, but none of the advanced nursing programs have been as challenging as the ADN program. So my advice is to hang in there - it won't last forever. If you really have a desire to be a nurse, you will not regret your decision to enter a field where you can really make a difference in people's lives, and job opportunities are great. Here in California, nurse recruiters are in competition for R.N.'s.

I soooo needed to read this. God is so good!