I don't know if this should be posted here or on the pediatric forum but here goes.
We have an eight week psychiatric rotation. The 1st place we were was a geropsych unit, Seriousely, it was just like being in long term care on a lockdown alzheimers unit. I hated it. Then, I had some time in the ED with a social worker who was doing an admission interview on an intoxicated manic young man. Thet was...ummmm....interesting. Then that afternoon, from 12-4pm, myself and another student went over to the pediatric psych unit. I almost lost my composure reading over some of the charts. I was expecting teenagers who had run away, or had anorexia, or were acting out in school.
That's not what I saw. A 5 year old, a 7 year old, and a few teenagers. They had absolutely had HORRIBLE lives and when I saw the terrible things that had happened to them, it was almost too difficule to do my paperwork. When I left that unit, I felt broken. I went home and cried my eyes out. My twin boys are 4. That 5 year old boy played and acted just like any other child that age. just like my children. I saw his admission picture and I had a hard time getting over it. I've talked about my experience with instructors and the staff from that floor and feel o.k. now. Just God bless those of you who pediatric psychiatric nurses, and even adult and geriatric psych nurses. I can tell that area of nursing Isn't for me but I am so glad you guys are out there for others. Thanks!
This reminds me of Victor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning". Trauma has little to do with it. People can cope with anything as long as they have hope, a support system, and can develop a meaning. Near countless people suffered and survived concentration camps, torture and all that through world war 2, but most of them would be regarded as having turned out fine. Juxtapose that with a kid living with every modern convenience in the suburbs, getting felt up by his "uncle" and having both his parents focused entirely on their careers rather than to listen to his problems, all of a sudden, you have a serial killer. Support, hope and reason to chose to live.
The parents are more likely to be focused on their cell phones, hair weaves, this week's F buddy, their meth lab, and their welfare checks than the kids, but anyway..........
The parents are more likely to be focused on their cell phones..........
May I just interject: their pay by the minute cell phones that don't have air time left to either call their kid or get a phone call from the facility when needed. I have parents that I literally can not contact.
The following was quoted a few times in this thread:
"You just know that most of those kids are never going to have productive, fulfilling lives no matter what anyone does. They're already destroyed."
I am very sorry that many of you feel that way cuz if you'd read about my childhood, I would've been given up on...felt like I was destroyed...the word "love" was a 4 letter word that meant something really bad was happening that shouldn't happen to a child.
I had a lot of problems growing up and have had numerous psych hospitalizations, but I have always managed to hold down a full-time job...now I'm a psych nurse...have been one on and off for 7 yrs. The best years of my life are still ahead...sorry you feel that these children are destroyed...wonder what these child will be like 30-40yrs from now?
From one who knows from being on the inside track.
I was re-reading this thread today, and it does sound very depressing and hopeless. And Catcoon, you are an example of why pedi-pysch nurses go to work everyday, because we all know (and pray) that there are those kids that make it out of the system and lead "normal" lives (whatever that is). BUT, what is being said loud and clear here, is that we all seem to be seeing a change in our society, where younger and younger kids are being hospitalized, with very very serious mental health issues and I think we all sort of scratch our heads and think "what can I do to as a nurse AND as a member of society to make a positive impact?". The anger and frustration is directed towards our system that only allows someone to drive a car after they have practiced, learned and passed a test vs. allowing anyone to bring a life into this world with the only requirement being an available egg and sperm. I like the tax break idea medsurgrnco brings up.
1st we have to identify that there is a problem- think that's what this thread is doing. 2nd: identify the cause, and I hear several here, prenatal insult via maternal drug use; late adoption such as the kids coming from Russia that have lived in an orphanage for their 1st 1-7 years vs. the Asian adoptions which tend to happen closer to birth. etc etc.
3rd: identify early interventions that give each kid a fighting chance. For example in New Haven there is a mentoring program for identified high risk parents (such as a 16 yr old, or an addicted mom), who are offered a stable adult mentor for at least the 1st year if not longer, and they usually start working together during the pregnancy. There are now residential programs for addicted moms (I'm telling you crack and meth are REALLY bad for a developing brain!!).
I would also point out that most of us in this field hold on dearly to the knowledge of cases that we know are doing OK! I had just such an expierence 2 weeks ago....ran into a woman I had worked with as a teenager, had tried to kill herself several times (and I'm not talking scratches to her wrist here). She is a nurse and mom now! She is doing well! Bumps in the road, of course, but she is leading a "productive life". And Catcoon, you have stepped up and reminded us, "there are successes, and I'm one of them", and for that I thank you.
I know this will sound very corny, but I have to say, everyday I'm at work I pray that I can do ONE thing to make a patients day a little better, give someone a milligram of hope during their darkest hours, offer an iota of dignity to the guy that just lost his med hearing and is about to have a needle stuck in his butt. I go ahead and help the acute manic fit the sheet properly for the "toga party" he thinks he's going to at 3 am.
So back to the original post "how do you guys do it?" We develop a healthy sense of humor, we respect that little bit of insanity that lives in all of us, and we keep a mental log of those who do well!
opps, gotta go, my soapbox is tipping.....over....
I just want to interject something. I belong to a group of parents with children who have bipolar disorder. We are all excellent, caring parents-not perfect but trying incredibly hard to parent children that don't respond normally to anything.
Almost all of us have been subjected to doctors, nurses, therapists judging us harshly. For 11 years I was told my parenting was the cause of my daughter's problems. My last visit to the ER for my daughter's latest hospitalization was another example of this treatment. I am a nurse, I know what needs to be done for my daughter! I doubted myself for many years, and obviously it's a sore spot. I took more parenting classes, set more limits, kept a closer eye on my child than anyone I know, except for other parents of mentally ill children.
Please don't judge parents until you know the facts!!!!
Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.
I just want to interject something. I belong to a group of parents with children who have bipolar disorder. We are all excellent, caring parents-not perfect but trying incredibly hard to parent children that don't respond normally to anything.
Almost all of us have been subjected to doctors, nurses, therapists judging us harshly. For 11 years I was told my parenting was the cause of my daughter's problems. My last visit to the ER for my daughter's latest hospitalization was another example of this treatment. I am a nurse, I know what needs to be done for my daughter! I doubted myself for many years, and obviously it's a sore spot. I took more parenting classes, set more limits, kept a closer eye on my child than anyone I know, except for other parents of mentally ill children.
Please don't judge parents until you know the facts!!!!
Teensmom
No, I would never judge "all parents" but I must say that the majority of the parents that I met when working on an adolescent unit had major problems of their own...now these were children that were suicidal, homocidal and had been in the system for a long time. Their historys told of extremely abusive behavior toward them, mostly by their parents or family members....But by no means is anyone saying, I don't believe, that "All parents" of children in care have been abusive to their children. I did meet parents that were at their wits end in dealing with their children and have tried all possible avenues...
P.S. No one at my facility would ever tell the parents that they were the cause of their children's problems, I can't imagine anyone telling you that.
I do hope all goes well for you and your daughter and she gets the tx. that she needs. God give you the strength to deal with it. :redbeathe
Teensmom, PLEASE understand this conversation! I can certainly understand your response! I don't think there is one amongst us that believes for one second that all children suffering with mental illness are the product of poor parenting! Wouldn't that be nice and simple! I think we were talking about the horror stories we have all seen, kids that have been molested, traded for drugs as if they were chattel, beaten and burned, locked in a closet, and more that should not be posted on the web. We are exposed to a dark side of humanity most would like to believe doesn't exist.
Parents such as yourself, who have had to fight tooth and nail to get high quality/appropriate care for their children in a system that is seriously broken (let's hope the mental health parity laws currently before Congress help!) have my utmost respect and admiration. Your strength, dedication and resolve must be quadruple that of the average parent.
I have little doubt, that you more than anyone, would be just as frustrated and outraged (if not more) if you had to hear some of these stories.
To you and the other parents of your group, God bless you. As a mother of 2, I often think "There before the grace of God go I".
The following was quoted a few times in this thread:
"You just know that most of those kids are never going to have productive, fulfilling lives no matter what anyone does. They're already destroyed."
I am very sorry that many of you feel that way cuz if you'd read about my childhood, I would've been given up on...felt like I was destroyed...the word "love" was a 4 letter word that meant something really bad was happening that shouldn't happen to a child.
I had a lot of problems growing up and have had numerous psych hospitalizations, but I have always managed to hold down a full-time job...now I'm a psych nurse...have been one on and off for 7 yrs. The best years of my life are still ahead...sorry you feel that these children are destroyed...wonder what these child will be like 30-40yrs from now?
From one who knows from being on the inside track.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and bless you for being one that made it through the misery of your early life. I do believe that "most" of my kids will never be able to live independently however the hope that some or even just one can and will is what propels me to work each day. Despite this I am not giving up on any of them so please don't think that is even a possibility.
I am so glad that you wrote and if there are things different nurses or staff did that helped you please write back.
Thanks everyone! I didn't mean to hijack this thread. I really do thank all the effective, caring psych nurses.
I do know that terrible trauma can be inflicted on a child by their parents. If the child is resilient enough, they can still be grow up to be decent members of society.
But don't forget the children who are born with wacked out brain chemistry, who are hallucinating, delusional and suicidal from very early ages. It's true, many of them are adopted-my daughter is and many of the children in my group are too. It's really too bad.
But don't forget the children who are born with wacked out brain chemistry, who are hallucinating, delusional and suicidal from very early ages. It's true, many of them are adopted-my daughter is and many of the children in my group are too. It's really too bad.
Thanks again,
Teensmom
We have an entire unit of these dear little ones and sadly most often it is from perinatal substance abuse.
rph3664
1,714 Posts
The parents are more likely to be focused on their cell phones, hair weaves, this week's F buddy, their meth lab, and their welfare checks than the kids, but anyway..........