Hi, I might be "grasping at straws" here, but thought maybe if people who know more about this than I do can give me
some input, it MIGHT help me......
I realize this may belong in the NEURO or ICU forum.......but not sure???
My baby brother and I were sooo close, and I ADORED him more than I can describe! He had severe high blood pressure and was on THREE meds----which we now know, he probably stopped taking. 
On Easter Sunday, he had a hemorrhage in the brain stem....the paramedics reported his BP as 249/ ???
(forgot the diastolic, but I will NEVER forget the 249!!!!) 
About a year ago, his doc said he MIGHT have an adrenal tumor, and I bugged him and bugged him to get it checked
out, but he never did........
His Glascow was a "3", pupils were pinpoint, no activity whatsoever except once in a while his leg would jump a bit..........intubated in ICU, etc. etc. etc. The results of the ECG and CT scan were NOT good.
The BLESSINGS are that we had 2 1/2 days with him to laugh, cry, sing, and LAUGH some more.....we have SO many
"In jokes" in our family, we had to rehash ALL of them.....LOL....well, almost! There were times we
were just SURE he was going to bust out laughing with us......:chuckle Not REALLY, but I think you know what I mean.
No, there was no denial there, we KNEW he was "gone"....
My least fave nurse of his intimidated me, and it TICKS ME OFF now when I think about this! I wanted to stay
by his side that first night, knowing he probably wouldn't live much longer. The snotty nurse said "and was this
PRE-ARRANGED?" ...............she HIGHLY encouraged me to go to the hotel. In my experience, MOST ICU nurses
are VERY cool about letting you stay. Now, keep in mind, I'm a nurse too! We noticed she was SUPER stressed
out with a new admit who took SOOO Much of her time! I TOTALLY get that she was stressed, but my baby
brother was DYING!!! Why did she have to be so snotty to me!!??
**Question # 1:Do y'all highly encourage family members to leave, even though you know they REALLLLY want to stay?
I know SLEEP is soo important, but all I did back at the hotel was CRY! Should I have called her and nicely asked
if I could come back??
And not only that, but we were SO nice to her.,....did NOT bother her while she was all involved in this complex
new admit. I LITERALLY hit "SILENCE" on my brother's piggy back for an HOUR and a HALF because NO ONE would stop
by to check it.....(I was NOT going to hit "stop".....didn't feel it was my place as a "visitor"....)
The organ donation people were AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! They explained that after going to OR and being extubated, if he
died within one hour, they could harvest some of the organs, and we could be there when (and IF) he died then. My sister, Dad and I were in the OR with him (my other brother chose not to be). We were prepared that he could've lived for days, a week or two? Who knew? But he died within five minutes of extubation....thank you God and your Mercy!
**Question # 2:
We believe that SOME "part" of him could hear us talking, laughing, praying, singing, touching him.....Do you believe
this, or do you think it's a fallicy (sp?) to make the loved ones feel better? Part of me wants to believe he felt us
there, then part of me thinks "Okay, with a GCS of THREE and a MAJOR brainstem hemorrhage, there's NO WAY
he knew ANYTHING that was going on!!!?
And on a HAPPY note, his liver and pancreas saved the life of a man his age.....both of his corneas went to TWO
different people who couldn't see, and now they can.....and the one that touched me the most-----a young guy
whose foot was crushed got my sweet baby brother's feet bones......!!! 
Thanks for "listening" to my story. I will appreciate other's thoughts/ opinions/ stories! 
CLC172
141 Posts
I'm just a nursing student, and I know that some of the stuff they teach us isn't exactly practical in the "real world." However, one thing they have been drilling into our heads is the importance of doing an assessment early on in your shift. I can't believe that nurse didn't even check in. I would be afraid for my license if I didn't at least peek in and establish some sort of a baseline for my pt.'s condition. Wow...
I honestly wish I could have the dream that my brother is still alive. I know it's sad and it hurt to wake up but if I could see my brother, and hear him again, even in my dreams, I would be grateful. We are all different, though, so please don't take that as a judgment. I just know other members of my family who have had some dreams like that, where he was really happy in them too, and I have felt jealous. I miss him so much!