gossip and back bitting

LPN1974, LPN · Dec 21, 2004

Yes, I have an opinion on it...it's extremely hurtful and doesn't do a department any good at all.

There's alot of it goes on where I work, my DON encourages it. Well, what she actually encourages and what I call it is "tattletaling". Do you want to know something on "tattletaling" or just gossip and backbiting? I guess tattletaling could be part of backbiting.

She has so much as gotten people off to one side and said, "Now, if you hear anyone saying anything about me, you come to me and tell me."

Her main tattletaler died, and she no longer had that "link", so she got two other nurses off to one side and told them the same thing, she said, "Now that so and so is gone, I don't have anyone to tell me things, so I want you to come and tell me if you hear things." One of those nurses told her "No," and the other one was a tattletale too, but she quit anyway.

It's extremely hurtful, and will bring the moral of a department down faster than a one egg pudding.

You have to be very careful what you say in a medical department, because there are ears all over the place. Sometimes it's like the walls have ears. Or maybe "bugs?"

Tattletaling, gossiping, backbiting can be stopped in it's tracks if everyone would refuse to participate in it. Just don't do it. And don't let anyone "encourage" you to do it. Tell them upfront you won't participate in something like that.

HOWever, there is always going to be the few who will do it.....they are the ones who like to keep trouble brewing, and you learn who those are, too, and stay away from that type. because they will get you in trouble in a heartbeat.

I've known of certain nurses who will "bait" others, you know get them to talking, and then run tell what they said. But funny thing is, the "baiter" never tells what SHE/HE says.

hypnotic_nurse · Dec 21, 2004

It's been my experience that one or two trouble makers can keep a whole group riled up (there's an Okieism for you) 24/7. I think other people get dragged in because 1) we (esp women, but men can be just as bad) love to talk about each other -- good or bad 2) insecure people like to put others down because then they feel better 3) since someone else is being picked on, the pickees feel safe from being picked on themselves. I'm sure there are other reasons if I think about it. Learned a lot about this working for a small company in my 20s...found it much better to just detach from people who continually tear down others.

I have to admit that I like hearing about what's going on with others as long as it's not belittling or hurtful...but sometimes people don't notice when they cross that line. "So-and-so has a new boyfriend, seems like a nice guy" is fun to listen to....as opposed to "do you think So-and-so is already sleeping with her new boyfriend" which is NOT fun to listen to.

I guess anything you are saying about someone should be the type of thing that if they walk in the room no one is embarrassed (exceptions made for such glowing things said that recipient floats on air all day, embarrassment or no).

LoriChr · Dec 21, 2004

This has become a real problem in my dept recently, and the problem basically boils down to two co-workers. They are each fine on their own when the other isn't around, but get them together and no one can stand them. They sit on their side of the nurses station and talk, with their backs turned to anyone unfortunate enough to also be at the station trying to work.

It wouldn't even bother me so much if it didn't also affect their work. Neither of them tends to help anyone else, and all they do is B*tch and complain if they have to stop horsing around and work. :angryfire

We have all addressed it with the NM and I do believe she is aware of the problem but don't know how to go about doing anything about it.

I can't believe that I am even writing a post like this. Two years ago, I would not have imagined our dept would ever get like this.

lighthouseRN · Dec 22, 2004

I thought my dept. was the only one with these problems or that maybe the problem was me. In my dept. there are two coworkers who run the show. They have now recruited new grads into thier gossip group. I have had the same expereince as you. But with one more twist, by not listening and participating in thier gossip I have become the one singled out. Now the backbiting is against me. I have heard things from other nurses who are my friends, and let me tell you it really hurts. I have tried to rise above it but by doing this I don't fit in the group any more. The work environment is very stressful. So stressful for me that I have begun to have physical stress symptoms. I have resorted to taking another job in a different dept. Thanks for your response. :)

This has become a real problem in my dept recently, and the problem basically boils down to two co-workers. They are each fine on their own when the other isn't around, but get them together and no one can stand them. They sit on their side of the nurses station and talk, with their backs turned to anyone unfortunate enough to also be at the station trying to work.
It wouldn't even bother me so much if it didn't also affect their work. Neither of them tends to help anyone else, and all they do is B*tch and complain if they have to stop horsing around and work. :angryfire
We have all addressed it with the NM and I do believe she is aware of the problem but don't know how to go about doing anything about it.
I can't believe that I am even writing a post like this. Two years ago, I would not have imagined our dept would ever get like this.

lighthouseRN · Dec 22, 2004

LPN1974,

I think that tattletaling is a very nasty part of back biting. I believe that your DON feels very insecure with herself. She needs the gratification that tattltaling brings. It really is sad. It must be very hard to work in that kind of environment. In my department there are two nurses who constantly run to the NM about everything. These nurses also write other nurses up on a regular basis. I thought that we were to be a team and cover each other when the need arises. So many red flags have gone up that I have decided to leave my dept. for a job in a different field. Does the administator know about this recruitment for talltletaling? Thanks again for your input.

Yes, I have an opinion on it...it's extremely hurtful and doesn't do a department any good at all.
There's alot of it goes on where I work, my DON encourages it. Well, what she actually encourages and what I call it is "tattletaling". Do you want to know something on "tattletaling" or just gossip and backbiting? I guess tattletaling could be part of backbiting.
She has so much as gotten people off to one side and said, "Now, if you hear anyone saying anything about me, you come to me and tell me."
Her main tattletaler died, and she no longer had that "link", so she got two other nurses off to one side and told them the same thing, she said, "Now that so and so is gone, I don't have anyone to tell me things, so I want you to come and tell me if you hear things." One of those nurses told her "No," and the other one was a tattletale too, but she quit anyway.
It's extremely hurtful, and will bring the moral of a department down faster than a one egg pudding.
You have to be very careful what you say in a medical department, because there are ears all over the place. Sometimes it's like the walls have ears. Or maybe "bugs?"
Tattletaling, gossiping, backbiting can be stopped in it's tracks if everyone would refuse to participate in it. Just don't do it. And don't let anyone "encourage" you to do it. Tell them upfront you won't participate in something like that.
HOWever, there is always going to be the few who will do it.....they are the ones who like to keep trouble brewing, and you learn who those are, too, and stay away from that type. because they will get you in trouble in a heartbeat.
I've known of certain nurses who will "bait" others, you know get them to talking, and then run tell what they said. But funny thing is, the "baiter" never tells what SHE/HE says.

lighthouseRN · Dec 22, 2004

Do you think that this has to do with clicks that are formed? Picking on someone who will not conform to the group norm, is this what you are saying? I know that I have personally had that experience. How do you handle personal attacks or even attacks on your professionalism as a nurse? :angryfire Thanks again for your input

It's been my experience that one or two trouble makers can keep a whole group riled up (there's an Okieism for you) 24/7. I think other people get dragged in because 1) we (esp women, but men can be just as bad) love to talk about each other -- good or bad 2) insecure people like to put others down because then they feel better 3) since someone else is being picked on, the pickees feel safe from being picked on themselves. I'm sure there are other reasons if I think about it. Learned a lot about this working for a small company in my 20s...found it much better to just detach from people who continually tear down others.
I have to admit that I like hearing about what's going on with others as long as it's not belittling or hurtful...but sometimes people don't notice when they cross that line. "So-and-so has a new boyfriend, seems like a nice guy" is fun to listen to....as opposed to "do you think So-and-so is already sleeping with her new boyfriend" which is NOT fun to listen to.
I guess anything you are saying about someone should be the type of thing that if they walk in the room no one is embarrassed (exceptions made for such glowing things said that recipient floats on air all day, embarrassment or no).

Fiona59 · Dec 22, 2004

I wound up on the end of "constructive criticism" once. Nursing office explained it to me as I was leaving that facility. Regulars felt disturbed that a new grad, working casual could return to the unit on an irregular basis and do the job! They saw it as the regulars were threatened because I didn't panic, did the work, and (biggest sin of all) took my breaks.

I just figured if this was the high point of their lives, home life must really suck.

Just don't join in, because the outsider never wins.

stbernardclub · Dec 22, 2004

comes down to poor management. All it would take is the trouble maker pulled aside, and a warning that trouble makers would not be tolorated! And maybe a little reminder that a nurse could file a slander suit against a person that attempts to destroy their nursing reputation.

Fiona59 · Dec 22, 2004

Your right, StB. I mentioned slander and defamation of character and the manager suddenly was willing to see my side...

stbernardclub · Dec 22, 2004

good for you fiona59...its time we nurses stand up and be counted !! :)

Your right, StB. I mentioned slander and defamation of character and the manager suddenly was willing to see my side...

Kansas_RN · Dec 22, 2004

It definately only takes a few to spoil the rest. In our hospital if we pass on anything to the night shift they bit** like we just told them they have to work overtime without pay. Yesterday I gave report on 8 patients at end of shift...after discharging 2 that day. FOUR nurses took report from the TWO nurses leaving shift....and I was told by the CNA today (who by the way is a great cna and great worker) that they complained until 11pm about the two admissions packets we left for them...per order from house supervisor. We got the pts to the floor, took care of STAT or NOW orders and charted what we did. They were tucked in and fed even if they got to the room 15 minutes before the next shift came for report. I stayed an hour late to get charting done. The CNA added that they refused to get up and help the 2 aides answer call lights for the 15 patients.

I know in the past if someone didn't get all of paperwork done because the pt was to the floor right before shift charge I was like..."hey don't worry, it will all get done." I don't understand why they can't pass that back to me. Sometimes I wonder if it is just the night shift going without enough sleep, but then we get a few of those on days too. And yes they are definately recruiting the new grads to this Bi*ch and moan type of thinking...Can't we just do our best and get along?????? :crying2: