Going Backwards

[HarStarr]

I've been an RN in NJ for 2 years now. I've had a 3 nursing jobs totaling 6 months experience. I worked at a summer camp last year & "mutually separated" from my employer 2 weeks before camp ended. I gave flu shots last Fall (seasonal position). Most recently, I worked as a Circulating Nurse in a surgi-center.

I was terminated after only 2 months with the reasons being "resistant to autonomy", "complaints from staff", "poor attitude". I was completely blind-sided, as I constantly received positive feedback from the staff on how well I was doing. I got the position from the high recommendations of a patient at a previous (non-nursing) job. However, I also felt pressure to work independently when I did not believe I was prepared to do so.

Therein lies my problem; I lack confidence. I don't believe I have the knowledge or experience to be an RN. I've been toying with the idea of moving out-of-state and/or doing something other than nursing but I really don't want to. I love the profession (still hate NJ, though) but I think this lack of confidence will haunt me in any position I'm lucky enough to get. I want to start from scratch & become a CNA but haven't heard of anyone going backwards.

I would like to know if I would have to go through a training program. Can I work before testing? What is the practical part of the test like? Will I be able to hold both licenses simultaneously? A professor once told me I put my RN license in danger when working "below" it; is that true? I'm truly at a loss. Any comments or advice would be helpful.

[WanderingSagehen]

Try LTC, I am finding that I am learning tons, have tons of patients and am memorizing drugs like crazy, I see the end of the disease processes (motivation to take care of myself). It was never spoken of to start off in a SNF facility but I am finding it might just be a much better transition to hospital work. I relate to the lack of confidence and am finding myself acting more confident as I deal with families and the education they lack. You know a ton, try to find a place to use it!

[helster83]

I understand your pain. I've been in the field for about the same time and have had the same luck and felt the same lack of confidence. Currently I am in a position (in home health) that I love-- but sometimes have my rough days. But I have been through hell with two jobs in the past to appreciate where I am now.

My lack of confidence is starting to build now. I have staff work under me, I know my 28 patients quite well, my manager and I have a great relationship, and I am learning to stand up for myself to people who are disrespectful.

The problem is that in this field, if people see that you lack confidence they will walk all over you. Some people mistaken kindness for weakness. It's a sad fact for many adults in this industry, and it's what makes many aspects of this job so hard. Anyway, the only advice I can give is: do anything and everything to build up your self image-- to yourself. Build up the positive energy about yourself and the right job will find itself to you.

[HarStarr]

Thanks everyone 4 ur replies & support. I really appreciate it.

[HarStarr]

We've been in nursing about the same amount of time and I'm also in NJ. It's not easy here (not anywhere, but especially not here) and I can understand wanting to leave and start over...

but becoming a CNA isn't the way to do it, IMO. If you're saying that you lack foundation knowledge, that's one thing - some study can bring you back up to speed, (patho, current treatment protocols, commonly used meds, etc) and then it's all about getting your hands on patients - day in, day out - so that you see how that knowledge applies to their clinical presentation and management. Technical skills are learned on the job and get easier and faster with practice. I'd almost recommend a refresher course - UMDNJ offers them - if it didn't sound like you're missing something else: confidence.

You say you feel you lack the knowledge or experience: what does that mean? You got through school, you passed the NCLEX, you've had several positions that you provided hands-on care to patients. Is it that you've missed having a structured orientation experience or perhaps got into niche positions (surgicenter, for example) without a foundation knowledge base? If you can't do a refresher or intern experience, maybe you can find a position where your range of responsibilities can grow as you learn (office practice, perhaps)?

I've been considering a refresher course since I graduated nursing school but could never afford it (not exactly making nursing money, or any money right now). I'm just grasping at straws now. I'll keep looking everywhere for anything, then when I can afford it I'll take some courses before moving on to my BSN.

[HarStarr]

DON'T GIVE UP! All that hard work, long study hours, no sleep, away from the family, your life. Nursing can be scary as we are dealing with humans and their illness, their emotions, the family etc. Even if you do not feel confident, project it! Don't be cocky and know it all, but comfortable confident, and learn quick who and where are your resources so if you do not know something you know where to go to find the answer. Don't be afraid to ask for peer help and advice, again know who you should go to, most experienced nurses remember ( I certainly do ) what is like to be the newbie, and want to help! Hang in there, and don't give up!

This has always been my downfall. I lack confidence & I'm scared to ask for help. The whole "dealing with humans" aspect of nursing terrifies me even more. People expect you to have all the answers when your a nurse; I don't feel I have any answers. I get in, do the practical part of the job but I can't relate or communicate with patients and/or their families. This issue goes well beyond nursing. I think I just need therapy.

[HarStarr]

There was a point a few years ago when I had had cervical disc surgery and wasn't sure if I could handle the physical part of nursing anymore, or if I wanted to. I asked a few people in the hospital where I worked if I could apply for a job as a unit secretary instead of working as an RN. I was told that I could not because as long as I was an RN, I would have to "be" an RN, no matter what my job title or status. IOW, if I was working as a unit secretary and a patient coded on the floor by the nurses' station, I would still be held accountable for responding like an RN.

Don't do the CNA thing just because you had one bad experience as an RN. Being a CNA is extremely physically exhausting, you often times aren't treated with respect, and the pay is much lower. Why would you revert to that if you put all that time, money, and effort into becoming an RN? Why not follow some of the suggestions above so that you feel more confident then look for a job where you would be happy, even if you do have to move, which sounds like it would be a blessing to you, since you hate NJ anyway. Have you thought about home healthcare or hospice? I worked for a couple of years in hospice and am certified in it, and even though there is still a learning curve, it is much less stressful in the sense that you aren't saving lives, you are making the ends of lives better and providing emotional support to patients and families, one of the most rewarding aspects of nursing. Just a thought.

Amarilla, not to get OT, but I'm curious as to why you believe that being a nurse is especially hard in NJ? I don't live there, I'm just curious.

If I can respond for Amarilla in my reply, I'd say it's harder in NJ because facilities ask so much of new grads. Hospitals want 3-5 yrs experience in North NJ (near NYC); agencies don't have the capacity to train new grads, so they can't send you on jobs; nursing homes, SNF, adult day cares want 1-2 yrs experience; doctor's offices are never hiring (who would leave those jobs); to get a foot in any door you've "gotta know somebody"; and to top it all off everyone wants a nurse with a BSN, not an ADN (like me).

I don't think it's only in NJ but the combination of all situations (and I'm sure I'm leaving things out) makes it tougher in NJ. Plus, people here are just generally rude. There is no time to help a newbie out; it's all business. I got a callback once from someone in FL. Although she was quite clear in not wanting to hire me, she stayed on the phone with me to tell me why she called, what she thought I should try, and wished me luck. I never got that from anyone in NJ; not before or since.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

This has always been my downfall. I lack confidence & I'm scared to ask for help. The whole "dealing with humans" aspect of nursing terrifies me even more. People expect you to have all the answers when your a nurse; I don't feel I have any answers. I get in, do the practical part of the job but I can't relate or communicate with patients and/or their families. This issue goes well beyond nursing.

I think it's commendable that you have the insight to recognize this in yourself. However, I am curious what your decision process was that made you pursue nursing, given this self-knowledge.

[Marshall1]

I also understand where you are coming from...for a variety of reasons I left the hospital setting and am returning soon. Unfortunately I was only able to secure a position that is an hour from my home..also unfortunately, I was offered PRN (which I wanted) but was contacted at the end of last week by the nurse recruiter telling me the money for PRN positions was eliminated so it is FT or nothing. Well, nothing doesn't pay bills so..I'm going to be FT (3 12's). I am grateful I have a job but, like you, haven't been in the areana for sometime but I know, like others have posted here, I will find my "sea legs" in a short period of time. I'm hoping once I get back into the hospital setting I can work FT for a while then go PT or PRN. I too am going to be taking some classes - at my own expense - before starting back. As others have said, ACT confident as well. That really does help. Good luck and don't let the fear/anxiety get you down.

[WillyBGood321]

This was written in 2012 - would LOVE to hear what happened!

[CatHaugland]

I would consider getting experience in an assisted living or LTC. You will get experience and confidence while learning how to manage your time and others. Plan on spending a year to prove willingness to honor commitment and not bolting at first sight of trouble. Unless you work for a travel company, short time positions aren't looked on favorably. Before naysayers start, remember that it is only slightly less stressful. With 2-3 X (or more) PTs than you will have in a hospital, time management and leadership are a must. It can be more relaxed. Depending on where you are, they have IVs and intensive cares and dressings. JMO

[ProudestMonkey]

You're held to the scope of practice of the job that you are working. If you work as a CNA, you must work within that scope and not even once try to work outside of that. If you work as an RN then that's your scope. I've worked my way up from CNA to LVN to RN and I can tell you that having that experience behind me adds to my level of confidence. So it may help you to work as a CNA for a bit, it may also help you to get your next RN job too.

[sarose611]

You passed your boards, right? Then you obviously know something. Being a CNA or LPN will.not give you the skills you need as an RN. Perhaps your state has a Board approved refresher course? Or you could apply for a job that has an internship, where you work with a more experienced nurse and solidify the things you learned in school. You may be happier in an office, as a school.nurse, or.other non traditional area. Hang in there a little longer. If after everything, you are still unhappy, then you.must make the decision that is right for you. Good Luck!