God Taught Me A Lesson Today

[valliloves]

Today was my 2nd day of clinical to become a CNA. During the morning, I was so stressed out that I started crying. All I did in my head was criticize my CNA (not pulling the privacy curtain, for being too rough with the patients, for speaking poorly of them to me while they were sitting right there in the room, for rushing the patients and not listening to them about what they wanted, for not taking the time to validate/listen [i was sure the patient had a language if the CNA would just take the time to observe her hand gestures/facial expressions] to her aphasia patient which in turn caused the patient to pinch, hit and kick her all throughout a bed bath, and for leaving the room several times and not coming back for awhile--leaving me to fumble through the steps that I had just barely learned in class).

I even went as far as to pulling her out in the hallway a few times to let her know that I wasn't comfortable with some of it. She was cool about it and not rude at all.

I came home, got on the phone with my mom and my husband, griping and complaining until the cows came home about how awful this CNA was. I was so frustrated. I just cried and asked God to humble me and show me my errors.

I learned that today, I was a very prideful and lazy person. Of course the CNA left the room. All I was doing was running around like Suzy Cupcake, treating the patients with so much "respect and dignity in my head" while she was doing all of the work. She does this type of work day in and day out. Even if she made some mistakes, I didn't treat her like a person at all. I didn't ask her how her day was. I didn't ask her if she was okay after the patient had just physically assaulted her.

I even remember at some point during the day, the expression on her face as she walked to her lunch break. She looked so sad and defeated. I didn't even go over to her to offer some support. In my head, I acted like I knew everything and that I was better than she was at her job when I've never done this type of work in my entire life--well, aside from taking care of family members. All day long, I encouraged patients in their endeavors, make them smile and consoled them when they were upset, but I didn't even do that for her?

Don't ever ask God to humble you and show you the error of your ways if you aren't truly ready for it :)

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

Thank you for posting this. We all need to be reminded to be good to each other. I hope you talk with the CNA and apologize for being abrupt and let her know that you are available to help when needed.

[Big Blondie, ASN, BSN, MSN, APRN]

Wow, great insight into your own human behavior. You rock already!

Good luck...there is plenty more to come!

[nursel56]

Wow, your post really touched me with the honestly you were able to verbalize so well. We never stop learning and growing in nursing, no matter how long we're in it. All the best to you.

[Susie2310]

I think that you learned a lesson that is important, but I feel that you are being a bit hard on yourself. Your instincts were correct that patients do have the right and deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. We are taught this in nursing school, and the Nurse's Code of Ethics supports this.