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God Helps Me Pee


Specializes in Peds, Med-Surg, Disaster Nsg, Parish Nsg.

God has a sense of humor, so I hope this will give Him a chuckle.

An old man and his daughter go to the Nurse Practitioner for his monthly checkup. During the examination, the Nurse Practitioner asks how his nightly incontinence is.

"It's fine," says the old man. "I just get up and go to the bathroom, and God turns on the light for me."

The NP finishes up the examination, and then calls in the daughter to tell her about the God-light thing.

"Oh, my!" says the daughter. "He's been using the fridge again! I thought that "spilled OJ" looked a little strange."


Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB. Has 30 years experience.

HAHAHA. Funny.

nrsang97, BSN, RN

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg. Has 20 years experience.

:woot: Yikes. LOL

yikes, indeed!

This is cute :). Sometimes moments like this you have to just laugh at it because you don't want to cry.

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych. Has 20 years experience.


Reminds me of the fellow who came home somewhat inebriated, and told his wife he'd been to a new jazz club that was so ritzy they had gold urinals. The wife didn't believe it, so after hubby was bundled into bed, she called the club to ask for confirmation. "Is it true you have gold urinals?" Before the club manager answered her, she heard him calling to someone in the background, "Hey, Lou, I think I've found who ****** in your saxophone!"

There was a nurse who had just transferred to a new hospital in Texas. During her orientation tour, she quickly became tired of constantly hearing how much bigger everything was in the Lone Star State. Excusing herself to use the restroom, she soon was lost in the new hospital's corridors. Thinking she'd finally found a restroom, she entered the hospital's darkened hydrotherapy pool room. Before she could find a light switch, she tripped and fell into the pool. Spluttering as she surfaced, she began calling out in a panic, "Don't flush it! Don't flush it!"