I don't like that we are all on this forum, but that's life and I'm glad we have this space and you all are here. I first joined last March 2022 when my monitoring agreement started. I posted a little bit, but then the traffic here really dropped off. I think many people were paranoid that their board/monitoring agency was on here also?
I have a 5 year monitoring agreement that slowly gets less restrictive as time goes on. Sometimes, I don't know how I'll make it to 2027. It's so intrusive. Other times, I think well I made it 17 months out of 60 months. So many monthly fees and test fees though. I can't imagine when I have to do hair tests.
At least I'm allowed to work I guess. I try to look at the big picture of things and that I'm not in that 90 day rehab and with my family.
I am one month into a 5 year contract. I strangely do not feel bad at all about being in the monitoring program, but I also recognize I don't have any financial stressors. I do think the cost burden (combined with being out of work) makes this feel like a punishment.
At first, I felt like "why am I here?" because I do not have substance use disorder. Do I think I need a 5 year contract? No, but I did need to slow down instead of just trying to get by (like most people honestly). I am depressed and the requirements of this program sort of force me to be consistent in trying to overcome depression. It has only been 2 months since I was told I'd be reported to the board. My anxiety is completely gone, and my depression has gone from severe to moderate.
I feel like this is my rock bottom. It has been such a humbling experience to realize I need help. The fact that I can even look at the positives makes me happy because I have always been the kind of person who could find the silver lining in every cloud.
So it's been a few weeks since I've received my contract from the board, it looks exactly like what my lawyer negotiated, this is exactly what I was expecting... My thing is, I haven't done real hands on nursing for nearly 10yrs, then I get this order after applying to fully reinstate my license, wanting to go back to an office job and to go for my masters degree. My order states I have to do a year of work in bedside nursing while getting drug tested, I get that, 10 yrs ago I failed a drug test and they want to make sure I'm trust worthy, but I'm finding myself so anxious that it feels impossible to put in that first job application (of the many I'm sure it will take to even get an interview). I was a great nurse and I'm tech savvy but still, I'm so worried that technology has moved beyond me, even though I have my speech and smile all planned out I'm dreading handing 30 pgs of contract to interviewers over and over as required in my order and knowing I will be rejected again and again, and I'm terrified of the drug testing process-even though I am clean as a whistle and have complete confidence on that front, the horror stories of all of the mundane things that can trip up a simple UA and not only ruin any progress you've made with the board but make your situation so much worse is insane. I'm going to treat it like anything else that feels impossible, today I'm going do my initial required education, tidy my resume and put in my first few applications. LOL maybe after each step the tightness in my chest will lessen a little each time...I hope you're all hanging in there too ?
So it's been a few weeks since I've received my contract from the board, it looks exactly like what my lawyer negotiated, this is exactly what I was expecting... My thing is, I haven't done real hands on nursing for nearly 10yrs, then I get this order after applying to fully reinstate my license, wanting to go back to an office job and to go for my masters degree. My order states I have to do a year of work in bedside nursing while getting drug tested, I get that, 10 yrs ago I failed a drug test and they want to make sure I'm trust worthy, but I'm finding myself so anxious that it feels impossible to put in that first job application (of the many I'm sure it will take to even get an interview). I was a great nurse and I'm tech savvy but still, I'm so worried that technology has moved beyond me, even though I have my speech and smile all planned out I'm dreading handing 30 pgs of contract to interviewers over and over as required in my order and knowing I will be rejected again and again, and I'm terrified of the drug testing process-even though I am clean as a whistle and have complete confidence on that front, the horror stories of all of the mundane things that can trip up a simple UA and not only ruin any progress you've made with the board but make your situation so much worse is insane. I'm going to treat it like anything else that feels impossible, today I'm going do my initial required education, tidy my resume and put in my first few applications. LOL maybe after each step the tightness in my chest will lessen a little each time...I hope you're all hanging in there too ?
Have a great day
Thanks for your message - small steps is how to get things done. Maybe even a small step a day and then build on that.
Remember to enjoy small things also during the day, like a hobby or reading about something you enjoy, going outside, anything, looking forward to a tv show etc. Anything to help.
please share your journey to help others out here!
I wanted to share this for anyone whom may read this and is just starting out with Texas, it had a lot of information I would've love to have when first applying for an agreed order years ago. It basically walks you through what a BON order will look like, what it all means and what will be expected of you ... https://www.BON.texas.gov/UnderstandingBoardOrders/index.asp.html
First step down, tomorrow is another day I hope to take two more steps tomorrow ?? have a goodevening everyone
Okay so I have a question, needing to lift my spirits, I went to a concert this weekend ( ?Chevelle? ) and even tho I was on the lawn it felt like no matter where I stood I couldn't get away from the smell of pot I wouldn't be too worried about it but it was the same way at the show I saw 2 wks ago (I guess I'm going to have to lay off the music for a while but I already had both sets of tix)...I know they say no one fails from from second hand smoke but has anyone ever any legit sounding stories on here of issues as such?
I started in Feb2023. DUI personal time and not working at the time. Self reported and received 3 year monitoring agreement.
My Monitoring agreement has been pushed back twice; (6 months) as of Today. I admit I missed the (3) allotted for the quarter not because I was drinking; because I like a fool cut my alarm off @ work got busy and missed my three o'clock call time.(Stupid)!.....Although I appealed and asked for consideration because I am also on probation and have a smart start device that I blow in twice daily, They DID NOT care and extended my program three months.
On the 3rd of this month, I checked the (Option 5) instead of (Option 10). (Option5 is the blood test-PETH and (Option 10 is urine).....The blood test was Negative of course! I don't know how I made that mistake! Again they DID NOT care and they extended my agreement again, (3 months)! This time for a wrong test violation. So essentially, the 8/9 months I have done in the program has been reduced to just 2 months and my 3 year agreement is now a 3 1/2 year agreement. Did I mention, That Every Test since I started this program has been NEGATIVE and I Blow into a device twice a day.
Thousands of dollars spent and THEY DO NOT CARE. Is this program really here to help? At this point I have to say NO!
I started in Feb2023. DUI personal time and not working at the time. Self reported and received 3 year monitoring agreement.
My Monitoring agreement has been pushed back twice; (6 months) as of Today. I admit I missed the (3) allotted for the quarter not because I was drinking; because I like a fool cut my alarm off @ work got busy and missed my three o'clock call time.(Stupid)!.....Although I appealed and asked for consideration because I am also on probation and have a smart start device that I blow in twice daily, They DID NOT care and extended my program three months.
On the 3rd of this month, I checked the (Option 5) instead of (Option 10). (Option5 is the blood test-PETH and (Option 10 is urine).....The blood test was Negative of course! I don't know how I made that mistake! Again they DID NOT care and they extended my agreement again, (3 months)! This time for a wrong test violation. So essentially, the 8/9 months I have done in the program has been reduced to just 2 months and my 3 year agreement is now a 3 1/2 year agreement. Did I mention, That Every Test since I started this program has been NEGATIVE and I Blow into a device twice a day.
Thousands of dollars spent and THEY DO NOT CARE. Is this program really here to help? At this point I have to say NO!
Signed,
Really Sad and Depressed!
You can't make the slightest error or more time is added to your sentence. Its a punitive program. The longer we have a monitoring agreement the more they profit
I started in Feb2023. DUI personal time and not working at the time. Self reported and received 3 year monitoring agreement.
My Monitoring agreement has been pushed back twice; (6 months) as of Today. I admit I missed the (3) allotted for the quarter not because I was drinking; because I like a fool cut my alarm off @ work got busy and missed my three o'clock call time.(Stupid)!.....Although I appealed and asked for consideration because I am also on probation and have a smart start device that I blow in twice daily, They DID NOT care and extended my program three months.
On the 3rd of this month, I checked the (Option 5) instead of (Option 10). (Option5 is the blood test-PETH and (Option 10 is urine).....The blood test was Negative of course! I don't know how I made that mistake! Again they DID NOT care and they extended my agreement again, (3 months)! This time for a wrong test violation. So essentially, the 8/9 months I have done in the program has been reduced to just 2 months and my 3 year agreement is now a 3 1/2 year agreement. Did I mention, That Every Test since I started this program has been NEGATIVE and I Blow into a device twice a day.
Thousands of dollars spent and THEY DO NOT CARE. Is this program really here to help? At this point I have to say NO!
Signed,
Really Sad and Depressed!
What do you mean you missed the 3 allotted for the quarter?
Yeah, for my state's program, my file is sent to the "compliance committee" if I miss 3 check-ins. Most likely, that committee will then increase the frequency of tests for me and possibly other punishments.
One missed test (selected at check-in but then don't go to the lab), also gets your file a trip to the compliance committee.
Yeah, for my state's program, my file is sent to the "compliance committee" if I miss 3 check-ins. Most likely, that committee will then increase the frequency of tests for me and possibly other punishments.
One missed test (selected at check-in but then don't go to the lab), also gets your file a trip to the compliance committee.
How absolutely ridiculously punitive. The bottom line is that they don't want us using mood altering substances. If you miss a check in that doesn't fall on a test day, you got lucky and it should end there but nope, they will do whatever possible to keep us in as long as possible so everyone gets our money a little longer.
I was in the monitoring program for 5 years. I had to call every day and if my color came up, I had to go into the local hospital and get a urine test. It took them about 2 years to figure out what to do when I go called in for a drug test on Saturdays. If my color was picked on Saturdays I had to go to the ER and get tested. Every time I went in all the nurses acted like they had no idea what to do with me. They questioned why I was there and told me that they didn't have a doctor's order for a test. They acted like I was asking them to remove a kidney or something. Anyways- eventually the lab took over and that went better. I had one lab lady that was so rude to me when I went that I came out crying a few times. I finally reported her, and she was let go. It appears I was not the only one that she was mean to. I started out on a 3-year monitoring program, but it ended up being 5 years because I tested positive for alcohol twice. I did not drink any alcohol or take anything that would make the test be positive for alcohol. It was just a mistake and I do not know what caused the false results, but I got 2 years added to my time. Looking back the 5 years went fast and I even though it sucked, and I would not do it again- it's not forever.
Sam_0896
48 Posts
I am one month into a 5 year contract. I strangely do not feel bad at all about being in the monitoring program, but I also recognize I don't have any financial stressors. I do think the cost burden (combined with being out of work) makes this feel like a punishment.
At first, I felt like "why am I here?" because I do not have substance use disorder. Do I think I need a 5 year contract? No, but I did need to slow down instead of just trying to get by (like most people honestly). I am depressed and the requirements of this program sort of force me to be consistent in trying to overcome depression. It has only been 2 months since I was told I'd be reported to the board. My anxiety is completely gone, and my depression has gone from severe to moderate.
I feel like this is my rock bottom. It has been such a humbling experience to realize I need help. The fact that I can even look at the positives makes me happy because I have always been the kind of person who could find the silver lining in every cloud.