Gentlemen (and viewing Ladies)

karenG · Feb 3, 2009

hiya

firstly... well done on deciding to be a nurse- its a great job!

I'm sure you have already thought/done this.. but have you asked your wife why she objects to you becoming a nurse? you seem to have the money side well thought out. is she worried about money? you will change as a nurse- we all do. you will aquire a black soh.. I have no friends from my pre-nurse days.. we grew apart. Is your wife scared that becoming a nurse will have an impact on your marriage- it will but thats something that you can work through. Becoming a nurse practitioner cost me my marriage! dont know what happens in the states, but when i became an NP.. the majority of my course started the course married and ended it divorced.. becoming an NP changed me that much!

maybe sit down and ask your wife what her concerns are.. even the stupid ones. remember you are entering a female dominated profession.. is she scared you will run off with a nurse? thats unlikely as in my experience we tend to avoid dating fellow nurses.. can you imagine the talk at the meal table?? there are 3 nurses in my family and shop talk is banned!

this is a hard training.. you will need her support and understanding to get through this.. it is worth doing. I wish lots of luck... or as the saying here goes... the best of british!

Karen

groovy jeff, RN · Feb 4, 2009

No offense intended but your wife is the one who is being foolish!!! Even an ADN will give you unlimited possibilities of different types of nursing; can the same be said for culinary arts? Whats the pay like in a culinary gig? If you like helping people and don't mind a little poop, nursing has many rewards.

I will graduate in June with my ADN and will be 54! You my friend are just a pup!!! Go for it! :up:

Cindy_A · Feb 5, 2009

hiya
firstly... well done on deciding to be a nurse- its a great job!
I'm sure you have already thought/done this.. but have you asked your wife why she objects to you becoming a nurse? you seem to have the money side well thought out. is she worried about money? you will change as a nurse- we all do. [WIKI]you will aquire a black soh[/WIKI].. I have no friends from my pre-nurse days.. we grew apart. Is your wife scared that becoming a nurse will have an impact on your marriage- it will but thats something that you can work through. Becoming a nurse practitioner cost me my marriage! dont know what happens in the states, but when i became an NP.. the majority of my course started the course married and ended it divorced.. becoming an NP changed me that much!
maybe sit down and ask your wife what her concerns are.. even the stupid ones. remember you are entering a female dominated profession.. is she scared you will run off with a nurse? thats unlikely as in my experience we tend to avoid dating fellow nurses.. can you imagine the talk at the meal table?? there are 3 nurses in my family and shop talk is banned!
this is a hard training.. you will need her support and understanding to get through this.. it is worth doing. I wish lots of luck... or as the saying here goes... the best of british![WIKI][/WIKI]
Karen

What is a soh?

karenG · Feb 5, 2009

What is a soh?

yes!!! does that mean I have finally used some shorthand that you guys dont understand!!???? :yeah:

as a poor scot I am often baffled by your shorthand! ( and sit trying to work out what the letters mean..took me ages to work out what a CNA was!)

soh= sense of humour

Karen

Cindy_A · Feb 5, 2009

Having a black soh isn't necessarily a bad thing . Sometimes I think it's a good coping mechanism.

groovy jeff, RN · Feb 5, 2009

Probably better to have a bright or shinny SOH!!

moneyline702 · Feb 5, 2009

Thank you all for the replies. I am still headstrong in my decision to become a nurse. I don't know whether or not I want to pursue an NP designation afterward but for now I am very much intrigued by ED nursing. I am also into ICU nursing, particularly Cardiology. I am hoping that one day the wife will realize this isn't just a good move for me but a GREAT move for the family. Far more stable than a career in culinary arts (where currently a sous chef on the strip make on average $40k annually).

I really wish I was starting on Monday. I already bought scrubs (5 sets) and two pair of non-skid shoes (white). My sister gave me a new stethoscope she never uses. I mean, she's a doctor (Orthopaedic Surgeon) and thinks that I'm making the smart decision in the family... AGAIN. She asked that I consider getting a NP in Orthopaedics and joining her in practice. Who better (and worse, lol) to work with than my older sister?

OMG, I wanna start now!!!

ps: my sister is "technically" a Microsurgeon. I love calling her that because she's only 5'1" and the title fits on two levels!! How ironic will it be: Dr. Boyd and her little brother the NP (btw I'm 6'2" and approx 280lb) who she'll call "mini Me".

nursemike, ASN, RN · Feb 5, 2009

yes!!! does that mean I have finally used some shorthand that you guys dont understand!!????
as a poor scot I am often baffled by your shorthand! ( and sit trying to work out what the letters mean..took me ages to work out what a CNA was!)
soh= sense of humour
Karen

Thank Goodness! I thought it was a typo for "soul." Which, I mean, isn't entirely unjustified...but still.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Feb 5, 2009

Nursing school will be tough without the support of your spouse. On the other hand, it would be tough even with the support of your spouse, and more than a few young women have gotten through with husbands who didn't understand, and you sound very motivated.

Maintaining my tradition of equivocation, I would like to both agree and disagree with KarenG's assessment. Nursing will change you, but it won't change you. I am still me after 2 yrs of school and going on 4 as a working nurse (total of 10 years in healthcare.) Can't really speak to the spouse thing, because I'm an old bachelor, but I did observe that the demands of school put a strain on some of my classmates' marriages. Most survived, some didn't. But then, marriage is pretty much a crap-shoot, in any circumstances, and I'm not convinced the divorce rate among nurses/nursing students is higher than average.

Still, I've learned an awful lot as a nurse, and I don't mean just the stuff in textbooks. I dealt with "the public" in my previous career, as a carpenter. I did home remodeling, so families typically lived in my workplace. I've seen a lot of women in their bathrobes. Spend a week or two remodeling a kitchen or bathroom, and you get to know people. And generally like them. But nursing involves you on a whole new level. Helping someone walk to the bathroom, or wiping their butt for them, can be a strange and occassionally wonderful form of intimacy--and that's some of the more superficial part of nursing. The part that affects me most deeply is when you are doing general maintenance on their bodies and trying your best to heal their souls. Because some of the people you meet are going through the biggest thing that has ever happened to them, and it ain't always good. You don't just walk away unscathed after spending 10-20 minutes holding the hand of someone who just found out they're dying.

Or, then again, you meet people with "minor" problems who are a major pain in your butt. Broken ankle, wants pain meds every hour. Even dumber stuff (I mean, at least you know that a broken ankle does hurt, even if it's hard to believe it hurts that much.) Not to mention families, some of whom are overly demanding because they want desperately to help their ailing loved one and the only way they can express that is bugging you, and some of whom are just jerks. You can't let them run your shift, because you have other priorities, too, but you can't just blow them off, either. You want to say, "Yes, I can see you're almost out of ice water, but there's a guy down the hall in excruciating pain from a broken ankle, and a lady in the next room who just found out she's dying, so you may just have to wait a bit." But you can't actually say that, so you say, "I'll bring some as soon as I can, or the aide will."

You get harder. It's hard not to after X times of saying, "I'm sorry, but it's too soon for more pain meds. I'll talk to your doctor, but I don't think he's going to increase your dose. Maybe we can put some ice on it." But, hopefully, you also learn to understand that the family who wants water for their NPO (nothing by mouth) stroke patient just wants to do something, so you can show them how to swab their lips without aspiration and they can feel like they're helping.

I never did cry much, and I still don't. I pray more than I used to. I'm a lot quicker to tell the people I love that I love them, because I know I might not get another chance. Life is fragile. I'm a nurse. I'm still me, but more so.

Bluee · Feb 6, 2009

Count your blessings that you do not have children that would further tie you down to this woman. The ladies in the other forums talk about this all the time, about the subject of pursuing nursing and dealing with an unsupportive husband (or in this case, a wife). They generally come to the same conclusion; leave the sorry excuse of a man. I have the same sentiment here; ditch the !@#$%.

Leave her, and upgrade to someone younger. Leave her, and upgrade to someone who can support you emotionally. Leave her, and upgrade to someone who will inspire you to be an awesome nurse and to be an awesome person in general. Don't let this current wretch of a woman keep you down!

Leaving someone is never easy, and you might even be financially dependent on her. At the very least, your lives are intertwined and so is most of your owned possessions. Leaving someone at first can seem like a daunting task, because it really is a daunting task, but just imagine the breath of fresh air you will have once it is all over and you've started your new life. Your new life, on your own terms, doing the things that you want to do.

There's plenty of fish in the sea, including pre-nursing students, nursing students, and nurses of all ages! :heartbeat

nursemike, ASN, RN · Feb 6, 2009

Don't know that I'd go so far as to endorse Bluee's advice--the OP will have to decide that for himself. But, just for the record, lotta cute doctors out there, too. You know, for those who don't mind embracing the stereotype...