Generation change: Older Adults Less Likely to Care for Parents than Younger & Middle

txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN · Jun 17, 2005

just this morning my 76 year old mother called me and tells me she is having trouble swallowing...(yikes) and i have been sitting here all morning figuring out how i am going to get her to take lemon ice before each bite. plus the fact she may just have to go on soft foods and drink health shakes until we can get her in to the doctor.uuuugggggg. i am 30 years old and my view on this is it is my responsibility to take care of my parents, they took care of me. part of the reason i am going to rn school is to be able to finacially support them and have a better knowledge to take care of them. i expect to do this with my in-laws as well, they are in their 70's. my dad is a work horse and still at 76 years old builds fence everyday and takes care of all the other buisness. but i see the wear and tear and it breaks my heart because he is such a strong man. when it is all said and done my hope is to have both my parents and my- inlaws living with me so i can take care of them. some might say wow that is unrealistic, but thats what im going to do. my husband will be graduating soon as a software engineer and i have every intention of setting up a little geratirc center in my house. i owe my parents everything and my in laws are nothing but supportive . it is the least i can do!!!

older adults less likely to care for parents than younger and middle-aged adults
6/07/05
university of missouri-columbia (mu) researchers found that while young and middle-aged adults today believe they should help and care for aging parents, adults over the age of 65 are less likely to think that aging adults should be helped by younger family members.
larry ganong, professor of nursing, and marilyn coleman, professor of human development and family studies, surveyed more than 3,300 adults over four years, asking them questions while describing scenarios where an older parent or stepparent needed help with either physical care, financial aid or other obligations. the study was funded by the national institute of aging, a division of the national institutes of health. read more at munews.missouri.edu/newsbureausinglenews.cfm?newsid=5042.

hikernurse · Jun 17, 2005

I've taken care of my almost 90-yo FIL in my home for the last five years and it's been tough with taking care of children, too, but you manage somehow. He has alot of health problems, some dementia, a good amount of incontinence (bladder and bowel) and difficulty getting around; but still, not taking care of him was not really ever an option. Although, unless I have to, I will never work in an LTC--it's just been too hard to take care of him some days and I wouldn't want to do that career-wise. AND, I really wouldn't want my kids to take care of me when that day comes.

Were the 65+ yo asked if they would take care of *their* parents or just asked if elderly parents should be taken care of? They may not feel physically able to deal with such a responsibility 24 hours a day without much of a break. We can't go out of town, nor can I leave the house for more than a couple of hours without coming back to care for him; I'm not sure I could do it if I were, say, 70 years old. And some of them might not have the financial resources a younger couple might. I dunno. It's still kind of a surprising result, isn't it?

Mystery5 · Jun 17, 2005

People over 65 are usually facing their own age related issues. Also, the parents in question are obviously very aged, most likely over the age of 85, very likely facing multiple health, mobility, and memory problems. So, I don't think this is surprising.

SmilingBluEyes · Jun 17, 2005

People over 65 are usually facing their own age related issues. Also, the parents in question are obviously very aged, most likely over the age of 85, very likely facing multiple health, mobility, and memory problems. So, I don't think this is surprising.

I was about to say the same thing.

expatnurse · Jul 15, 2005

Just this morning my 76 year old mother called me and tells me she is having trouble swallowing...(YIKES) and I have been sitting here all morning figuring out how I am going to get her to take lemon ice before each bite. Plus the fact she may just have to go on soft foods and drink health shakes until we can get her in to the doctor.UUUUGGGGGG. I am 30 years old and my view on this is it is my responsibility to take care of my parents, they took care of me. Part of the reason I am going to RN school is to be able to finacially support them and have a better knowledge to take care of them. I expect to do this with my in-laws as well, they are in their 70's. My dad is a work horse and still at 76 years old builds fence everyday and takes care of all the other buisness. But I see the wear and tear and it breaks my heart because he is such a strong man. When it is all said and done my hope is to have both my parents and my- inlaws living with me so I can take care of them. Some might say WOW that is unrealistic, but thats what Im going to do. My husband will be graduating soon as a Software Engineer and I have every intention of setting up a little geratirc center in my house. I owe my parents everything and my in laws are nothing but supportive . It is the least I can do!!!

I completely agree with you. I feel the same way. I trained for the same reason. Do you have any information on what one needs to do to open a LTC. My husband is also very supportive. I am so glad to meet someone who wants to do the same thing. I have often thought I must be the only one. Good luck. I look forward to hearing from you. :balloons: