Okay...I will post the job listing in hopes that it makes sense to someone (anyone...please) . I did an MSN search on it, and found a lot of sites with the word Topic spelled as two words (T Opic...lol!)
*This position is accountable to perform clerical duties, act as unit receptionist, coordinate unit/patient activities with other departments via proper use of the computer and telephone, maintain an orderly and efficient nursing station. This position also, under general supervision of unit manager and the RN in charge during each shift, provides or assists in activities of daily living, as well as emotional support to patients.
NATURE and SCOPE: This position has internal contact daily with personnel from all departments for the purpose of admitting patients, discharging patients, scheduling diagnostic tests and treatments, ordering diets, requisitioning medical supplies. In this position, one may also be asked to put patients in rooms, do vital signs and report them, assist the patient with personal hygeine, mobility, and comfort, and other things as needed within the realm of licensure for CNA as directed by the professional nurse. The UC/CNA must be knowledgeable of the uses of equipment specific to the area of employment. One is responsible to annually demonstrate proficiency in body mechanics, fire safety, patient safety, hazardous waste, infection control, CPR. The UC/CNA must also maintain accuracy in transcribing physician orders, communicate effectively with different types of people, function efficiently under pressure and stress, be able to identify and maintain priorities, as well as respond to simultaneous requests from many people and remain courteous and tactful. The UC/CNA assists in procedures to facilitate the proper documentation of the patient care systems from pre-admission through discharge. One must be familiar with standard operating procedures in ancillary departments to schedule diagnostic tests and treatments without conflict. One is also responsible for the maintenance of unit supplies and interdepartmental communication. The demands in this position are very dynamic due to the rapid changes in medical procedures, technical knowledge, instrumentation, equipment, policies, procedures, etc.*
So whaddaya all think?
Thanks, I have gotten a few giggles out of your suggestions. I think my fav is One Person Infection Control (I think that I'd have to skip out on that interview!!!)