Too nice to be a nurse?

allnurses Guide · Feb 18, 2007

She doesn't represent nursing - she represents someone who is not very nice. I really like Daytonite's post. And llg's . . . and the rest . . .

steph

KellieNurse06 · Feb 18, 2007

I'm a little frustrated right now. Last week at clinicals one of the girls in my group said that she felt sorry for me because I was too nice to be a nurse. I asked her what she meant and she said I was too nice to my patients and also too nice to the nurses that we were following.
I'm very new to field of nursing. I know I am a nice person and all my patients have complimented me on how nice I am and also that I have a soft touch when I reposition them, bathe them and do any kind of care. I'm nice to the nurses because they are our teachers. I don't want to walk around thinking I'm better than anybody. If I have a question I always ask the nurse I'm assigned to and they always seem happy to help.
I told the girl that I didn't know that being a B!#ch was a requirement in nursing. Was I wrong? Has anyone else ever been told this?
She said I seemed weak with my kindness. I have a quick temper and can be not the nicest person if I needed to be. I see no point in acting that way unless it is necessary. I have heard nursing is full of crabby women and if I come across that situation I'm not the type to cry in the corner.
I guess I was just disappointed. I think nursing is about being a caring person. I don't want to be the nurse that when my patient sees me they cringe with fear. I have seen plenty of that already.
any thoughts?

Wow.....being nice.......what a concept!!!! I am exactly like you! That's what caught my attention with your post!!! I , like you......am exactly the same way with regards to if push comes to shove then things can get ugly....

Some people are just jealous , that's all. It takes ALOT to push my buttons so you aren't the only one like this....believe me! I have seen many nurses get all bent out of shape over miniscule things....and look at me like I have 10 heads because I am not getting frazzled over it.

I say don't change! You have great qualities for a nurse to be! I think it actually will be a great benefit especially in any situation where an emergency could occur.......you will be the calm one!

I actually had a few nursing instructors during school where I went who actually told me I have a very calming affect about me & it makes them & patients feel very comfortable.

I have a comment I heard the other day from someone and I love it....

Just look at that other student next time when she makes a stupid remark and just matter of factly say " So".........leave her dumbfounded.........

Don't let her make you feel inadequate......it's probably her own insecurities that bother her......I'm sure you come across as very confident & that can be a great thing !!!! Good Luck!

Rosa2Little · Feb 18, 2007

"You're too nice to be a nurse"??! I say we add this to the stupid statements people make, like "you are so smart, you ought to be a doctor".

Go right on, being nice, smart, caring, efficient, etc... Nursing embodies ALL of these traits. Sounds to me as if your classmate has much to learn.

Suzanney · Aug 2, 2008

Wow...

PathToRN · Aug 2, 2008

This girl is jealous of you for whatever reason. Stay away from her. She is trying to manipulate you. Do not engage in any banter with her over this issue. Just smile, say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk away. Worrying about the her silly opinions is a waste of your good time.

ADPIE10 · Aug 2, 2008

I was told the same thing as a student. Nurses SHOULD be nice and don't stop being nice because some b**** in your class doesn't like it. She has a problem, not you.
On the other hand ... it's probably worth thinking about her perception that you project a image of weakness. "Nice" is one thing and "weakness" is another. There are many times when a nurse needs to be strong and needs to project an image of strength and competance, both when dealing with patients and when dealing with co-workers. Be sure that you are not perceived as being too weak so that people don't take advantage of you and your kindness.
From your posts, it sounds as if you do indeed have a backbone. That's a good thing. Perhaps your classmate has not seen enough of that strength and is mistaking your kindness, courtesy, etc. for weakness. Be firm with her and let her see that she can not dominate you and push your around. Then she'll see that "nice" and "strong" can exist together. "Nice" and "strong" is the best combination.

Sorry to disagree, but she does have a problem. The OP is nice enough that this has hurt her feelings and messed with her head. She's also angry with someone that she needs to deal with and if possible create a good working relationship. Many of the posts thus far have had high levels of speculation, but no real knowledge of the other person's viewpoint.

We have no first hand knowledge of the strengths or weaknesses of the OP. None of us have observed the OP in action. If we give advice, don't we risk giving the wrong advice if the offending party's opinion is correct?

I can recognize from the OP that she is frustrated and needs to learn how to cope with negative comments from others.

MedicalNerd · Aug 2, 2008

Wow.....being nice.......what a concept!!!! I am exactly like you! That's what caught my attention with your post!!! I , like you......am exactly the same way with regards to if push comes to shove then things can get ugly....
Some people are just jealous , that's all. It takes ALOT to push my buttons so you aren't the only one like this....believe me! I have seen many nurses get all bent out of shape over miniscule things....and look at me like I have 10 heads because I am not getting frazzled over it.
I say don't change! You have great qualities for a nurse to be! I think it actually will be a great benefit especially in any situation where an emergency could occur.......you will be the calm one!
I actually had a few nursing instructors during school where I went who actually told me I have a very calming affect about me & it makes them & patients feel very comfortable.
I have a comment I heard the other day from someone and I love it....
Just look at that other student next time when she makes a stupid remark and just matter of factly say " So".........leave her dumbfounded.........
Don't let her make you feel inadequate......it's probably her own insecurities that bother her......I'm sure you come across as very confident & that can be a great thing !!!! Good Luck!

I couldn't have said it better!

I too am part of the Nice club! I have a long fuse but when you get down to the end it will be a big explosion!

I have been told all my life that I am nice, caring and pleasent to be around. I have also been taken advantage of and learned how to not be in that situation again. I know when it is time to let the "Tawanda" out and be firm.

Compassion is not something that you can learn, it comes within you! You can't fake it, you cant just make it appear. Naturally copassionate people are able to just do it and not think about it. We "wear our heart on our sleeve" as I have been told over and over.

I am proud to be part of the "Nice" Club, you should be too!

:nurse: