I dont know if I can take this

[Melisita]

This is the most stress I've ever been under in my life. I've been sleeping horrible...tossing and turing all night, dreaming about "why my patient's Digoxin is being held for the next 2 days, and then the dosage being reduced??" .....(my professor told me she going to ask me tomorrow, and I better have the answer) ... I am always holding back the tears in clinical...Always looking things up...forever doing process records... and constantly on the go...and for some reason, the personal life if falling apart RIGHT ON TIME! I just got fired from my job ( ALSO right on time)...and my wonderful boyfriend, who is active duty for the US Navy... is suddenly leaving for Iraq in a few weeks, and Im faced with the possibility that he may not come back. I'm very young...19 years old...and i dont know if I can emotionally handle the pressure of having someone's LIFE in my hands. People my age are having fun. I'm dealing with life and death. I do have a passion for this, and I know I can get through it eventually. Im just afraid that all this stress is going to make me quit. and I know, if i cant take THIS, ill never make it. Ive been thinking lately that maybe I should wait until Im older, and i can handle myself better...and learn how to put my emotions in check. Does everyone in nursing school feel like this....does anyone? Because, I dont know if im strong enough to take this. I'm feeling very insecure....help....

[nekhismom]

we all break down from time to time. Most of my nursing school was full of breakdowns at home. That's part of nursing school. BUt it DOES and WILL get better! Just hang in there, Melisita. Stay strong, and feel free to use this board as a way to vent, get support, or whatever else you may need. Everyone here has been in your shoes, or is in them now with school, and MOST are very friendly and willing to help. Best of luck to you and may God bless and protect your boyfriend and all those serving our country.

[RNSuzq1, RN]

Melisita,

I've waited for 20 years to apply to Nursing School, I'm 42 and hope to get in this Fall. The difference in our ages give us both advantages and disadvantages. You are so young, just got out of high school and everything you learned there is so "fresh in your mind". Also, you have a much younger body that will surely hold up to turning patients, lifting, etc. I really wish I had done this at your age for those reasons.

Some of us older students have the advantage of maturity - not that a 19 year old isn't mature - but life experiences, having children, losing parents, etc. tend to make you less stressed out about it all. I just mean to say that usually by my age, people have seen a lot more of life, so some of the things we see in hospitals aren't as shocking or new to us as it would be to someone much younger - but everyone is different. Going back to school at my age certainly has it's disadvantages - haven't studied in 20 years, trying to go to school, work, take care of a house and raise a family - it's pretty hard.

You said that kids your age "were having fun" not dealing with life and death situations. I agree that the field of work you have chosen is a very stressful one. Many of your friends going for other degrees might not realize all that you are dealing with at school. My oldest son is also 19 - he's an engineering student at NC State and trust me - he doesn't have much fun either. It's also a very competitive field (not life or death stuff) but the courses are so difficult that he spends all his free time studying. It bothers me that he really doesn't have a social life - but he's totally focused on getting good grades, so I don't say much about it to him. Just know that in a couple of years you will have a "Career For Life". You can literally go anywhere and find a Nursing Job. I can't think of any other career where there are so many possibilities.

You said that your boyfriend is in the Navy heading to Iraq. I was also in the Navy - I wish him all the best. If he makes it a career and you guys stay together - most Naval Bases have hospitals and hire civilian Nurses - so again, you'll always have a job.

Good luck to you in whatever you choose. SusanNC

[Rapheal]

Melisita,

Just think about how far you have come. Just last year you were probally in high school. I am sure you are scared and confused with all the changes in your life. I hope and pray your BF will be safe and well. Try to cut your self some slack and relax a little. Nobody is perfect and you are doing a good job.

[meownsmile, BSN, RN]

YES, you will make it damn it!!! LOL,, good luck, vent anytime.

[wonderbee, BSN, RN]

Wish I could give you a great big hug!! Consider yourself hugged. Spring break isn't far in the offing. A little R&R can get your clock ticking again too. A little sleep, a little sunshine and voi la.