How is YOUR family holding up?

[jschut]

How is everyones families holding up while you are in school?

Mine, personally, isn't too hot. My children are all right, they understand that I have to study. My problem is my husband. He is so demanding of my time, and expects me to revolve around him, day or night. He is jealous of the studying I have to do, and gets rather obnoxious about it. When I try to tell him about my day, he changes the subject to something about him...

I am tired. I am beat. I am exhausted.

My grades are showing it, I passed last class with a C. A high C, but still, a C. I have 2 tests this week, and do you think he cares? Nope! I have tried talking to him about it, and he says I am cold, insensitive and don't care about anyone but myself. He says he spoils me to no end, but I do absolutely NOTHING for him, and being his wife, I should know his needs...*SIGH*

I am so fed up...

Then, to top it off, we "inherited" our neice,(a behavior challenged young lady) whom the "Grandma" spoils constantly,while our two daughters have to sit by and watch. She blames that on me, saying she knows I have said things to my husband to make him think she's being mean to our kids. (Neice is 9, and two daughters are 9&7). The neice gets to go spend the night every other weekend while the other 2 don't...

I just need to make it 6 more months, but I am truly not sure if my family will hold out that long. I have wanted to be a nurse forever and ever, and I won't let it be yanked away from me when I am this close. I won't.

Thanks for letting me vent. Didn't think I could hold it in any longer.

Julie:o

[stevie b]

Julie,hang on,you can do it. This may sound a little off track, but if I remember correctly,your husband was having a rough time several months back and you were very supportive of him. I know men dont like to be reminded or every little thing,but.......

On the other hand he could be feeling threatened by your "new found independence". and if that is the case,he just needs to get over it. You have been his wife,his kids mother,now it is time to be Julie.

[jschut, BSN, RN]

I want to thank everyone for the support.

But those little stabbing comments really hurt, and they aren't soon forgotten.

And the Mother in Law thing~ even he tried to talk to her about leaving the other kids out, but she is just going to do what she's going to do!And to "hell" what anyone else says or thinks... I have lost ALL respect for her...ALL.

I failed a Pharmacology test yesterday because of all this mess. I haven't time to study hardly at all. My dh had me go in the kitchen to study last night instead of the usual "lay with me and study" thing.

I am going to be me, and I am a new person, and I am very independant. Just tired of all the little cutting stabs and jabs about everything!

And as far as the M-I-L thing, I think I have no other choice but to send the little girl back to Fla where she came from. I hate to do it, but in order to save my family, I will. Esp. the children, who have to watch Grandma pick up one and not the others and they get to stand there and cry. And if she doesn't come around because of that.... then I guess that's a happy notch on my belt, isn't it?

Thanks every one.

Julie

PS Yipididit~ I liked your remark about people with degrading remarks against me are nothing but their own insecurities. I'll keep that one in mind!:)

[hpyrn]

Julie,

I went to nursing school after staying home with my kids for 9 years. They were used to me being at home, taking them to school, picking them up, all Girl Scout and Boy Scout stuff, PTA, car pool for after school activities, a hot meal on the table everynight and homemade playdoh. omg mom get a life. It was the hardest thing and the BEST thing I ever did for me and for them. My husband felt neglected, oh well, your a big boy , deal with it. he sure didnt mind it when I started making decent money. I had to put on blinders, especially at the end, I did cook dinner most nights and waited till the kids went to bed to study, on sunday I went to school and studied while they were at my mom's for dinner. The sacrafice we all made was worth it, I have since divorced but not because of school, but because I became a different person, maybe thats what he fears, that you wont need him anymore, or that you are smarter then him. Spend some time with him and explain you HAVE to do this and it wil be ok if he can just hang in there. I always told people who asked me how I did it with kids and a foreign husband, and the only answer I could ever come up with was " desire is everything" good luck and hang in there for you.

[zumalong]

Hi all. I think this is so common in school. Especially as we near the end. I have 5 more weeks to go and I will have my bsn. My hubby acts like taking the boys for 1/2 day so I can study is the biggest sacrifice he ever made on his part. I have found that taking each day, each paper, each new class at a time has helped. I try not to look too far ahead.

My kids are little (3 and 5) so they are not missing out on me driving them to after school stuff cuz they aren't old enough. Do this for you. That is the main thing to remember. When you feel good about yourself then you benefit the whole family.

Take care

[CountrifiedRN]

Julie, I am so sorry for what you are going through. School is so incredibly stressful, then to top it off with family issues must be close to the straw that broke the camels back.

In my school there are counselors that are available for the students to talk to, not attached to the nursing program. Maybe you can check at your school and see if someone is available there for you to speak with about this. I'm sure that other students have had these types of issues, so they might be able to offer some good advice or a referral.

In the meantime, do what you have to do to get back on track. Take it one day at a time, and do the best you can do. One of our instructors told a student who was upset about her "C" grade that you will still have those initials after your name (after testing) whether you get an A, B, or C in class.

My family is trying hard to cope with me being so busy with my studies. It's not easy for any of us. We have our ups and downs, like anyone, and sometimes it's just so overwhelming. I have a husband, 3 kids, (two teens and a toddler), 3 cats, and a dog, and they all need attention.

I don't know if this is a possibility for you, but one of the things I try to do is stay at school after class to study, do homework, etc. I know if I go home, I will be preoccupied with laundry, dinner, phone calls, and whatever else I can procrastinate with. I stay at school for as long as I can, then I go home and devote my attention to the kids and hubby. Then, once the baby is in bed at around 8, I study or read for a couple hours until bedtime. It doesn't always go that smoothly, but so far it has worked well for me.

I wish you the best of luck with your studies and your family. You can make it, where there's a will there's a way. Just keep focused on how it will feel when you graduate!

[Furball]

Julie,

Tell your hubby my story, maybe he''l back off and support you more. My husband hurt his hand/wrist/arm pretty badly at work and ended up on workmans comp soon after I graduated. (yeah, I know...THAT's a joke in itself...workman COMPENSATION ha! more like being treated like a criminal) Many times I heard him say "Thank GOD I didn't ***** at you during nursing school because now you're keeping our financial noses above water." We made a potential disaster a mere bump in the road in our lives. He is happily back to work today and our credit rating is sterling.:roll

[stevie b]

Julie, I hope you didnt take my post as a jab at you.I was trying,in my unpolished way to cheer you on.I know this is a hard time for you, and Im so sorry about your pharm test.Your mil should call my mil,they sound like the same person.Good luck and stay strong

[angelina28]

Julie I'm sorry if my post upset you I didn't mean to... IF it was me please send me a messge I'm really sorry If I made a jab at you or upset you... Sorry about the parm test...

Tammy

[jschut, BSN, RN]

Hey guys! ( Esp. stevie b and angelina28)

No one upset me in the least! As a matter of fact, I appreciate your support!

Tammy~be thankful you have an understanding husband. Be proud and tell us about him! (We need to hear it sometimes...)

I think since I failed that test, it's opened his eyes to some things. At least I hope so.... He's still VERY demanding and time consuming, but I'm NOT letting his insecurities make my future. I know this sounds harsh, but if he is that insecure about me becoming a nurse, then he can go find a clinging vine elsewhere, cause I'm not stopping for him or anyone.

And, please don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. I just don't do things the way he thinks I should, and gets mad at me because I don't bend over backwards to please him.(To put it plainly, I am not a romantic...he is.) Nor do I intend to. He sighs if I ask him to do something and acts like it takes so much out of busy day. He is constantly yelling and cutting down our kids, and in front of people, I am his life, his world...but get us alone, and, oh boy! Does the crap ever start to fly then! The little cutting remarks and the hateful looks all happen when we are alone. My best friend thinks he is just the most fantastic man around, but I try to explain to her that he only acts this way in front of people, she thinks I'm crazy!

Oh well.....life goes on. The queen mother came and picked up the princess again last night, and left the other two again.....

Am gonna try and get some sleep. Worked last night from 6p-6a. I'm kinda tired.

Thanks again everyone,

Julie