How do you rally your family round? - page 3
The books, the nursing orientation, the advice from friends...all say that you MUST have practical support from your family to get through nursing school, but what if your family is High Maintenance... Read More
May 31, '04Occupation: RN Specialty: 3 year(s) of experience in Med-Surg ; Joined: May '04; Posts: 826; Likes: 47Quote from txspadequeen921LOL, love it!My children think Im evil and mean , but just think with the extra money I make I can buy them good therapy.
May 31, '04Joined: Mar '04; Posts: 5,926; Likes: 15First, let me say that I don't think there is anything wrong with liking a clean house. I freely admit to being a perfectionist and have had to learn to let things go with my three little ones (they are all under five). Still....I have to vacuum at least once a day, especially now that we got bunnies and somehow their bedding ends up everywhere except the cage. I have an 8 month old that will put anything he can find on the floor into his mouth, so vaccuming is a must, as well as doing the kitchen floors that inevitably end up with anything the kids eat on them. So, I do clean A LOT, BUT, and I want to stress this, I will not let it interfere with more important things, such as spending time with the kids, or studying, or going somewhere fun, etc. I didn't used to be at that point, but I am now and I know that once school starts, I'll probably even relax more on the housework. If the house starts looking bad, dh will just have to buck up and help out, as I am sure he will. Even now, he can tell when I am frustrated that he is not helping me and will give me a hand without me having to say anything.
*sigh and smile* I sooo wish I had known a while ago what I know now about taking too much time for housework. Still, I look around right now and there is soooo much to be done. I am itching to do it but there is a baby wanting me that is so much more important.
May 31, '04Joined: Sep '03; Posts: 6,885; Likes: 12,485Quote from PaintI say this with absolutely no disprespect, just concern for another SAHM's sanity ...OOooops - I'm afraid that yes, I do vaccuum every day - sometimes twice a day.....I have to shampoo the carpets at least once a week too....couple white carpets (not our choice) with 2 kids, a hubby who insists on putting mugs of tea and glasses of red wine down ON the carpet instead of on a table (then acts surprised when they get knocked over), and a Great Dane with huge muddy paws and it all adds up to a lot of muck. Honestly, I vaccuumed before we went out today, and within 2 hours of coming back there are crumbs, bits of paper, grit, black dog hairs everywhere already And in our house you can guarantee that if I mop the floors in the morning, someone will have an accident with an exploding soda bottle later that afternoon!
Best wishes, Paint [/i]
so, if someone WILL have an accident w/an exploding soda bottle on a daily basis, the logic of mopping the floors BEFORE it happens is ....... WHAT??
If hubby WILL continually spill nasty stuff on the white carpet, the logic of dutifully shampooing them is ...... WHAT??
Methinks nursing school is the least of it - you could decide to forget about school and life would still be chaos. Again, with absolutely no disrespect - Get a life, girlie! I wish you well.
May 31, '04Occupation: Student Joined: May '04; Posts: 111; Likes: 10MLOS - I totally agree with you, and that's what I'm trying to change - trying to get my family to be more responsible so that most of the messes just don't happen in the first place. For instance, whenever anyone else in my family opens a cupboard or drawer to get something out - that cupboard or drawer remains open (I closed the larder door 4 times in 15 minutes yesterday!). If someone makes a sandwich, all the stuff (bread, butter, knives, salad, mayo etc.,) is just left out on the counter. Clothes are changed several times a day and left in crumpled heaps on the floor, Hands are dried without being washed properly first (hubby usually), so towels constantly have to be changed. Of course, I always ask them to clear it away themselves, but often I don't discover the 'crime' until they are at work, or at school. I KNOW I do too much housework, I KNOW that my family are irresponsible, disrespectful, lazy people who need a good kick up the butt right now, and I KNOW that I cannot possibly keep doing this stuff for them without going completely crazy and burning out. Doing one or two washloads of laundry every day is more manageable for me than trying to do 9 or 10 loads in just one day - that would be a nightmare, and would take up the entire day without leaving me any time. Cleaning little and often is more manageable for me than spending an entire day catching up at the weekend. I want to be able to rest and relax at the weekends, and spend time with my family - not spend it doing cleaning and laundry. What I need is to get my family motivated not to make such a lot of mess in the first place - to think about what they're doing and the consequences, and to get them to help a bit more. If I can do that, then everything will be OK
Best wishes, Paint.
May 31, '04Joined: Sep '03; Posts: 6,885; Likes: 12,485Here's to some butt-kicking .... :chuckle Kids are amazingly adaptable once they know you're serious - you have to stick to your new rules, and establish consequences for not adhering to them. As for hubby ... well, that's another issue entirely for a grown man, and I'm not gonna go there ...
Good luck, Paint. Let us know how you're doing.
May 31, '04Occupation: FINALLY! NICU RN Specialty: NICU!! ; Joined: Mar '04; Posts: 423; Likes: 5Hi there! I've read this thread with interest, as I have many of the same issues. Mostly with DH - he drives me insane I'm having a better time with getting the kids to help out...sometimes. I wish I would have been more consistent early on about getting them to help out. I'm paying for it now. My husband refuses to do a damn thing except for yardwork which he ENJOYS. Every day off, he retreats outside to mow the lawn which takes all blessed day. If it rains, he sleeps in. He takes naps almost EVERY day off. He's learned to live with convenience meals. He had no choice. The hardest part was me - I had to stop taking it personally when he got mad about things not being done, or about dinner not being up to par. I'm still working on that. Anyway, good luck, and stick with this. I love your 10 minute chores. It is similar to fly lady - she says you can do anything for 15 minutes. Now if I could just stick with that.... LOL
Jun 1, '04Occupation: Student Joined: May '04; Posts: 111; Likes: 10Hi Jennifer! I understand you completely, because I was a SAHM it became my job to do everything around the house, especially as hubby was (and still is) working upwards of a 70 hour week most of the time, in a VERY high stress job. You know, I even rinse his contact lens case out for him every morning LOL! I was quite happy to do these things before, but I'm having to take 17 credit hours + clinicals in just my first semester at nursing school, I'm going to be gone by 7am and not be back home until about 6pm, then there's all the studying and prep work to be done in the evenings and weekends.
I hear where you are coming from - it's easy to yell at the kids and make them help out, you can nag them, bribe them or even have 'consequences' if stuff doesn't get done - but you can't do that with an adult. I don't want to be constantly nagging at my husband, that won't do our marriage much good at all, especially as I'll get so little time to be with him anyway - I want to spend that time pleasantly, not as a nagging old fishwife LOL!
Best of luck! Paint.
Jun 5, '04Occupation: RN (OBGYN) Specialty: OBGYN, Neonatal ; Joined: Jun '04; Posts: 728; Likes: 58I work full time and go to school full time on the evening/weekend program. Hubby and I don't have any children yet but we want some. I know that I feel guilty now for the amount of time I spend studying becuase I don't get to do as much with him, I do 0 housework most days and I don't get to talk to my friends and family on the phone, in person or online as much as I used to. Also I don't get to do things with my doggies that we love to do like walk and just play outside. And I don't attend my Weight watchers meetings and I don't exercise...
What do I do? Work, sleep, study, work, sleep, study and EAT...this is why I need WW. LOL!
Anyway - I try to make sure that I spend cuddle time with Hubby. He doesn't care if the house is messy so that is great. We live with my father in law too so Hubby isn't bored which is also great. Plus Hubby is happy with the Sci Fi channel or a PS2 game!
Just make sure you outline your priorities. Save at least 30 mins - an hour of time with family just enjoying each other. Maybe make a chore schedule and explain, if it doesn't get done by them it aint getting done. If the kids can't wash their own clothes, they have nothing clean to wear - that will drive them crazy! LOL!
All the while you will be sane! *yeah right nursing students can't be sane LOL!